All posts tagged Weakness

C.S. Lewis on the Collective Human Race

by brad on September 10, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“The idea that the whole human race is, in a sense, one thing – one huge organism, like a tree – must not be confused with the idea that individual differences do not matter or that real people, Tom and Nobby and Kate, are somehow less important than collective things like classes, races, and so forth… Six pennies are quite separate and very alike: my nose and my lungs are very different but they are only alive at all because they are parts of my body and share its common life. Christianity thinks of human individuals not as mere members of a group or items in a list, but as organs in a body – different from one another and each contributing what no other could. When you find yourself wanting to turn your children, or pupils, or even your neighbors, into people exactly like yourself, remember that God probably never meant them to be that. You and they are different organs, intended to do different things. On the other hand, when you are tempted not to bother about someone else’s trouble because they are ‘no business of yours’, remember that though he is different from you he is part of the same organism as you (p. 185-186).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Can’t say I’m sorry we didn’t consider “Nobby” as a name for either of our boys (assuming it’s a boy name). But this conception of the human race is something that warrants consideration.

Do we view people like collectable quarters – different dates and regions stamped on them, but having no vital interconnection? Or, do we view people as organs within a body – the health of each one essential to the health of all the others? Either-or is probably too strong of language; it is more likely a spectrum of positions that exists. But where are you on that spectrum? And, where is Scripture?

I find myself guilty of both aspects of Lewis’ warning – wanting to duplicate my “strengths” in others and wanting to distance myself from other’s “weaknesses.” I believe I can defend that as legitimate, in some cases – saying as Paul did “follow my example as I follow the example of Christ (I Cor 11:1)” and avoiding codependently taking responsibility for other’s sin or folly.

But my tendency, which is generally not codependent, often neglects the unity of the human race. A big part of that may be my competitive nature. I’ve accepted that in a fallen world that there will always be losers, but that by God’s grace every time we lose, it can become a powerful motivator, life lesson, and source of healthy humility.

Yet, even that mindset is not as incarnational as Jesus. I can become much more callous to the realities of a fallen broken world than Jesus. Worse, I can begin to use the mindset of competition to generate “success” in my Christian walk.

While I may not “defeat” someone else, my non-organism view of the human race allows me to measure progress by how far “ahead” I am of others instead of (a) how far we’ve come together, (b) how much I’ve spurred others on, (c) how my temporal setback may result in a greater advance for many others, (d) whether my gain is the best measure of “success” in a given moment, etc…

What I need to realize is that the questions I think I answer well (being an example and avoiding codependency) often deafen me to the questions I’m not asking. I would encourage you to consider three things in light of this reflection: (1) Where are you on this relational spectrum? (2) What questions are you asking/answering well? (3) What questions are you overlooking in the way you relate to people?

When the Holy Spirit Prays for You

by brad on February 24, 2012 in Application Supplement with 4 Comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on John 14:12-26 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday February 25-26, 2012.

If the Holy Spirit is indeed “the shy member of the Trinity” (always drawing attention to Jesus), then Romans 8 is a passage where His bashfulness if most noticeable. The role of the Holy Spirit in Romans 8 is often tragically lost and often leads to applications of this passage that do not reflect Paul’s pastoral intent when he penned these verses.

Most Christians know (whether they quote or cringe) verse 28, “All things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” But few recitations of this passage trace the journey of how Paul applied this truth; as a result the sovereignty of the Father is emphasized to the neglect of the compassion of the Holy Spirit. Let’s take a journey from verse 25 to verse 28.

“But if we hope for what we do not see…” (v. 25)

Paul is writing to hurting, longing, waiting Christians. They want something (every indication is that their desire is for a good thing) but they do not have it. God seems silent to their prayers and they are struggling to maintain an accurate view of Him as gracious and good.

“…we wait for it with patience.” (v. 25)

Patience is a pretty word on paper. It sounds nice. We use it as a compliment. But patience is a virtue only necessary because of sin, so it feels like Hell. In the perfect rest of Heaven patience will be as irrelevant as time. So these waiting, hoping believers are withering as they cling to a belief in God’s faithfulness with their patience.

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness…” (v. 26)

We know their wasting away because Paul speaks to their growing weakness. In this moment the Holy Spirit softly enters the text… and our lives. “Likewise” reveals how much the Spirit embraces our sorrows. The Spirit is there to help. But if the Spirit’s help is like much of the help we get from those who lead with Romans 8:28 during our suffering, we may be hesitant to receive it.

“…for we do not know what to pray for as we ought…” (v. 26)

These weak Christians, wearied by waiting for God to deliver, are beyond words to speak. When asked, “What’s wrong?” They shake their head as if to say, “I don’t know where to begin… Reciting it again would only magnify the echo of sorrow… I’ve talked to God and He was silent; what good would it do tell my sorrows to you?”

“…but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” (v. 26)

What is going on here? The Spirit is speaking truth, but He is speaking to the Father, not the weary believers. The Spirit is not saying “just do this” or “something good is about to happen.” The Spirit is taking our pain and despair to the ear of the Father. Even our hopeless silence cannot be silent in the Father’s presence because of the Holy Spirit.

“And he who searches hearts…” (v. 27)

The words of the Holy Spirit are not just “on our behalf,” they are the exact representation of our heart. The words coming before the Father in our suffering are everything we would say if we had the wherewithal to articulate our hope depleted soul-aches. Our pain screams we are alone. The prayers of the Spirit remind us we are known.

“…the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (v. 27)

Not only is our heart’s cry translated to God, our soul’s essence is knitted with God’s will (i.e., direction) for our life. The reach of the Spirit’s prayer is so great that it can connect our pain and God’s redemptive agenda. The distance that leaves our mind speechless is not too far for the Holy Spirit.

“And we know…” (v. 28)

This ministry of intercession by the Holy Spirit is what gives Paul confidence to speak into suffering. Paul is not offering a quick answer. Instead Paul is summarizing the implication of the tender, personal ministry of the Holy Spirit. We should only speak this truth to others in the same pastoral way that the Spirit brought Paul to this truth, through much listening and great compassion.

Prayer: Powerful Weakness

by brad on March 16, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

What does it say about you when you have to ask for help? Take it a step further, what does it say about you when you are always having to ask for help? Those are easy questions. It means you’re weak. It also says that you are in good company.

Consider the words of the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:10.

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I believe the epitome of this powerful weakness is prayer. We are told to pray without ceasing (1 Thes. 5:17); to constantly cry out for help. That expression of weakness (prayer) taps us into the greatest, most constant, and most benevolent source of strength – God Himself.

I have heard many people say that they feel like this kind of praying is whining. But then I remind them that, by that definition, most of the Bible is either whining or the response to whining (see my post “Biblical Whining”).

But that whole defense is given because we believe asking for help is weak and we should not be weak. Have you ever noticed that the most precious things are weak? Fine china dishes. Roses. Babies. We handle them with care and feel honored to have them. But for some reason we do not want to be put in the place to be like them.

We become like my 3 year old who is so committed to being big and strong that life becomes hard for him. I am there longing to help, waiting to be asked, but his refrain is, “I can do it myself. I know just what I’m doing.” His definition of “strong” causes his effectiveness to be much weaker and slower than it has to be.

Paul understood what it meant to be strong as a child of God; it meant relying upon our Father for those things we were never meant to do without Him. That is where the illustration of my son breaks down. He is meant to grow up and be independent and even take care of me in my old age.

We were never meant to be independent of God. Even if the Fall had never happened, God created us a finite beings meant to draw delight and purpose from interaction with His infinite being. We never can outgrow God.

The call of the Christian life is to embrace weakness to find strength. This is seen and experienced most practically in prayer.

Gratitude as Weakness

by brad on October 21, 2010 in Counseling Reflection with Comments Off

You might read the title of this post and assume that I was implying that gratitude was a bad thing. But that would be because you might assume that weakness was a bad thing. Actually I am saying the opposite of both. Gratitude is a good thing because weakness is a good thing.

Most of our relational civilities are built upon the assumption that it is safe to be weak in trusted relationships.  Whenever we say, “Thank you… I like… that was nice… would you… please… excuse me… yes sir, etc…” we are making ourselves vulnerable to a harsh response. The other person could say, “You better say thank you… I don’t like… don’t expect it again… who do you think I am… No!” or ignore us.

Beyond a harsh response, we also are declaring the other person as worthy of honor. Kings and Queens stand for the presence of no one and have no need of the words “Thank you.” When we are grateful we are declaring I am not a king or queen. When we are grateful with a glad heart we are saying that we do not have to be a king or queen in order to be safe or secure.

With this in mind, consider Jesus’ words in Mark 9:35:

“If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”

The problem with being a king or queen is that everyone is a threat to your position. There can be only one king or queen (unless you live in a fantasy world like Narnia, of course). In the norm

al scope of thing being “first” is lonely and unsafe.

It is only in the kingdom of God that being first can be shared and safe.  In heaven, where competition will be eliminated, gratitude will be natural because strength will be irrelevant. We are invited to begin living that way now. We are encouraged to pray that this would be more common in the Lord’s Prayer:

“Your will be done one earth as it is in heaven (Matt 6:10b).”

When we conduct our homes, friendship, and workplaces in a manner that makes strength irrelevant and gratitude natural, we are making those environments more “heavenly.” Unfortunately, in our fallen world this often takes great courage and sometimes results in suffering.

However, when this happens let us resist the temptation to envy the powerful person who has made gratitude unnatural. Rather, let us pity this person as being trapped in a relational world that requires strength in order to be safe. Our compassion will likely increase their anger (at least at first) because receiving compassion (another relational civility) requires admitting weakness.

As their anger increases, so will their conviction (Heb 11:7). But we must remember than while we do not succumb to the false gospel of their anger (“strength will deliver me”), we are not a slave to their demanding (Rom 12:17-18 implies we can walk away when things are unreasonable).

Our goal, however, is to live in the safety of the gospel as an open invitation to those around us and to be able to echo the words of Paul in II Corinthians 12:9 at all times:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.”

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Real Power – Ephesians 3:14-21

by brad on September 27, 2010 in Application Supplement with 1 Comment

Grant You to be Strengthened (3:16)

We tend to think of strength as something that is worked for. Athletes go to the gym and work out to get stronger. Even if they cheat and use steroids or human growth hormone, they must still work out to gain the benefits of the performance enhancing drugs. Yet this passage speaks of strength as a gift that is given to us by God.

In the midst of temptation we often wonder if we have the power (in ourselves) to resist. Even in our temptation we are often too proud to be God’s beggars (as if we were ever anything more). Yet because of how we phrase the question (self-centeredly) we are given to the doubt and fear which strengthens our temptation.

Application: Hopefully we can see that timeless truth “in our weakness then we are strong” more clearly in light of this reflection. The question of temptation is not one of ability or strength, but of dependence and trust. Make a list of the temptations you regularly face. Beside each one list the setting(s) in which you frequently face that temptation. Describe how your self-assessment leads to fear and doubt. Write a brief narrative of what it would look like to face that moment in God’s strength.

Strength to Comprehend (3:18)

Have you ever studied something until your head hurt? That might be what Paul is saying here. If we are going to fathom the breadth, length, height, and depth of God’s love it will require the strength of God to prevent that understanding from breaking us. When we set the darkness of our sin against the brightness of God’s love the contrast should bring us to our knees like Paul on the road to Damascus.

If we miss this, we likely approach our study of Scripture too casually; like children playing near a high voltage generator. Imagine being an orphaned child who lived well into adulthood without any knowledge of his parents. Then finally by some means he is given a letter from his birth parents. As he read the letter, he would likely have to sit down. The weight of knowing this was the only first-person knowledge he would ever have from his parents would be physically moving. When we read it correctly, that is the Bible.

Reflection: How often, before you study the Bible, do you pray that God will grant you the strength to comprehend His Word? I think this kind of prayer prepares us for the miracle of divine revelation that we are preparing to read. One of the great challenges to rightly interpreting the Bible is coming to it with a right understanding of what it is. Because we live in a day of endless books, a leather bound one does not seem that special. Let us pray that God would give us “eyes to see” the Bible as divine revelation, before we open it to read.

More Than We Ask or Imagine

(BCH_Eph3B_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

What is the point of trying to imagine something you cannot imagine? That is the invitation of Ephesians 3:20. We are constantly faced with the temptation to make God in our own image. This is partly because we are limited to the capabilities of our finite mind.

I believe one good application of this verse is to expand the breadth of our imaginations. By so doing we increase our capacity for God. The goal of the passage is not to challenge us to ask more and more of God so that we can be awed, but to have a greater and greater capacity for God so that our service in the advancement of His church is never delayed by our lack of faith.

With this being said, let me suggest two types of reading to help you grow the breadth of your imagination: Christian fiction and Christian biography.

As you read one of these works, do not just seek to glean new information or to be entertained by a good story, ask God to expand the capacity of your imagination so that vision for what is possible for His kingdom will also grow.

Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“

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Why Humility is Doubly Important in Marriage

by brad on July 23, 2009 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

James 4:6
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

humbleMost people who are married have turned to their spouse and said, “You don’t act this way around anyone else” or “You don’t treat anyone else this way.”  Occasionally it is meant as a compliment, but more often than not these statements are meant to infer, “I am getting a raw deal.”  There are many explanations for this phenomenon, but in this post we will examine one explanation with two faces—the absence of humility.

Face One: Refusal to Live in My Weaknesses

Have you noticed that we spend the majority of our day operating in areas of specialized training, well-practiced skills, and personal interests?  Then we come home.  When we get home we are asked to do a wide variety of tasks, many of which we have no particular passion for or interest in.  It is these tasks that we do to love and serve those we know best, while those we are least committed to get our fine tuned excellence.

The response we too often give is to draw back from, neglect, or grumble about these tasks that are not our strength.  We may call it insecurity, but it is more often a form of pride.  “If I cannot do it with excellence and receive affirmation, then I will not do it at all or with much effort,” is our logic.  “I get to operate in my strength all day long and know how to succeed in that world.  If I am not sure that I will be a success, then I will not try.”

humbleIt takes great humility and the heart of a servant to live in the area of my weakness for the love and welfare of another.  When we are willing to live in our weakness for the benefit of others, God rewards this humility with more grace.  This grace is realized when we resist the pride (“I should be good at whatever I do”) and take joy in imperfect (yet growing) service.

Face Two: Refusal to Accept My Spouse’s Weaknesses

There is humility in action.  Then there is humility in expectation and evaluation.  We move from the paralysis of fear rooted in an expectation of personal excellence to the mantra, “Haven’t I already told you that” or “How many times have you done that and still not gotten it right?”

The pride has mutated.  The pride now says, “I would have been able to do that, so you should be able to do that.”  Whereas before pride was holding me up to a level of elevated expectation, now pride raises my ability or expectation as the standard for you to meet.  In both cases, the absent effort or harsh tone is rooted in “I should” or “I could” (pride).

Patience is rooted in humility.  Patience accepts that imperfection, error, inefficiency, and incompleteness are not beneath me.  That is humility.  When we extend this form of humility to our spouse (and children) we are incarnating the grace of God.  God rewards this dispositional obedience (yes, obedience to God can be as much attitude as activity) with more grace.

When we put these two faces of humility into practice we experience a home where the atmosphere is marked by the grace of God and we experience the redemptive joy God intended in a Christian marriage and family.

 
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