All posts tagged Rest

C.S. Lewis on God-Fatigue

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“What we mean by ‘being good’ is giving ourselves to those claims [which interfere with our desires]. Some of the things our ordinary self wanted to do turn out to be what we call ‘wrong’: well, we must give them up. Other things, which the self did not want to do, turn out to be what we call ‘right’: well, we shall have to do them. But we are hoping all the time that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, to get on with his own life and do what it likes. In fact, we are very like an honest man paying his taxes. He pays them all right, but he does hope that there will be enough left over for him to live on. But we are still taking our natural self as the starting point… In the end, you will either give up trying to be good, or else become one of those people who, as they say, ‘live for others’ but always in a discontented, grumbling way  (p. 195-196).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I think we’ve felt awkward as we heard ourselves talk about “being good” as if our actions were a minor form of martyrdom. Even as we tell the story, we feel torn. Part of us knows that “being bad” will not pay off and doesn’t even want to desire it. Another part genuinely feels cheated.

The fact that we are telling a story about “being good” reveals that we made the right choice. But the duty-bound sense of regret reveals that we are viewing God’s way as being sub-optimal. We chose good to avoid punishment, not because we found it more desirable than bad.

This doesn’t mean we should have made a different choice or that we should feel guilty, but it does mean that we either need to assess our view of God or our values. Unless we do, we are setting ourselves up to experience God-fatigue – the experience of growing weary of God’s standard more than being strengthened by God’s presence.

Question One: Do we view God as good? Or, do we view God as the cosmic government who has the right to do as He pleases and we must comply or be cast into jail-Hell? If we are honest, it is hard for us to view anyone with absolute authority as good. In our earthy experience, the more power any one individual has, the worse the outcome becomes.

Once again, it is vital that we do not make God in our own image. But if we do, it is equally vital that we realize our error and allow our false beliefs to be melted by God’s goodness (Rom. 2:4). When we begin to feel coerced by God, we need pause and look into the face of Jesus again. Chances are the loving, drawing eyes of our Savior will be more tender than the authoritarian stare we expected to find.

Question Two: Do our actual values match our stated allegiance to God? It is better to be honest about this question than “theologically accurate.” There is more grace for a humble, repentant heretic than proud, self-deceived hypocrite. Countless times over the course of our lives the answer will be “No.”

When the answer is “No,” we realize there is a deeper problem than our situational temptation. Like the child who resents the good instruction of a parent, our obedience is not enough (although it is the best starting place). We may also need to learn wisdom, perspective, maturity, sharing, sacrifice for the family, or the significance of some unknown danger.

These moments of internal resistance are moments ripe for growth if we are willing to learn by honestly asking these two basic questions. The next time we begin to experience God-fatigue, let us pray for the humility to ask these questions rather than merely trusting our grumbling.

To see the first 100 posts in this series click here.

C.S. Lewis on God as Father and Creator

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“To beget is to become the father of: to create is to make… What God begets is God; just as what man begets is man. What God creates is not God; just as what man makes is not man. That is why men are not Sons of God in the sense that Christ is. They may be like God in certain ways, but they are not things of the same kind. They are more like statues or pictures of God (p. 157-8).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

This quote could be reflected upon in many technical ways. It explains why scientists can create an artificial heart, but not muscle tissue or a blood cell. It provides a framework for understanding how God the Father and God the Son are one essence. But my purposes here are not technical. I hope they remain very practical.

We, as people “made” in the image of God, reflect something that Jesus possesses as the “only begotten” Son of the Father. We were made with dirt and inside of time to point to something greater than ourselves. Jesus is eternal, existing outside of time, sharing the same nature as God the Father.

With the exception of human beings, signs do not get the privilege of knowing what they point to. That is the uniqueness of the Bible and the incarnation. In Genesis 1-2 God revealed to humanity that we were created to reflect His glory. Through the rest of the Old Testament, we grow in our knowledge of the character and glory of the God whose image we bear.

In the incarnation, God became like the image-bearers He created. We were broken signs – reflecting a distorted view of God based upon our bent nature and the lies we embraced. Rather than discarding us as the broken signs we were, God showed us His glory in the constraints of what our senses and understanding could bear to call us to point back to Him.

God acted as a Father towards His creation. Steve Jobs would not do this for a broken I-pad. Truett Cathy could not do this for a spoiled Chic-Fil-A sandwich. A carpenter would not do this for a warped board. Even if it were possible, the sacrifice would seem absurd.

Yet the outlandishness of God’s actions are meant to set our hearts straight and point them back to Him. How could we now believe that God would withhold good from us? How could we believe the lie that God was trying to restrict our freedom in any way that is to our detriment?

But we should take this reflection a step further. When we see God relating as a Father to what He “made” not just what He “begot,” we should both find rest and be challenged.

First, we should rest in the reality that God is a good Father. Like the toy maker (Geppetto) in Pinocchio, God loves His creation even though it is only made in His image. When you are loved as a son/daughter even before you have life (Eph 2:1-10), you can rest in the love of the Father who adopts you (Rom. 8:15-17).

Second, we should be challenged as parents. We are called to respond towards our children (our begotten) as God has responded to us (His creation). He chose the name “Father” as the name by which we primarily address Him to daily remind us of this. It is in this relationship to our children that we should most faithfully and clearly be the sign, pointing to Him, that we were created to be.

Podcast: Radio Interview for God’s Attributes Booklet

This Tuesday June 5, 2012 I had the privilege of being on the Knowing the Truth radio program with pastor Kevin Boling. During the course of our conversation we had the opportunity to discuss two subjects:

  1. The Gospel for Real Life booklet series for which I serve as editor through the Association of Biblical Counselors
  2. My latest booklet God’s Attributes: Finding Rest for Life Struggles

It was a great conversation where we had the opportunity to discuss the core convictions of the GRL booklet series, the events that motivated me to write this booklet, how we are all practical theologians (whether we give ourselves that much credit or not), sample several sections of the booklet, and work in an embarrassing story from my childhood baseball days.

To listen to the podcast of this interview click here (link to sermonaudio.com).

Comments on the Attributes Booklet

“A. W. Tozer famously said that what we think about God is the most important thing about us. Brad Hambrick has provided the church with a deeply theological, yet practically helpful tool for exploring the attributes of God, helping us see Him more clearly and living in proper response. The cycle of ‘rest’ to ‘emulation’ model he proposes is pure gold. This is a life-changing study.” –J. D. Greear, the Summit Church, Durham NC

God’s Attributes: Rest for Life’s Struggles will lead you into a study of the character and attributes of our God that will deepen your knowledge of the God we love and worship. In the process, it will guide you toward cultivating these character traits in your own life and to walk in faith before the God in whose likeness you are being transformed.” –Daniel L. Akin

“The gospel isn’t just an ethereal idea. It’s not a philosophy and it’s not static. It moves and shapes and transforms the lives of those who by God’s grace alone put their faith in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. I am grateful for ABC’s work of letting the Gospel bear its weight on these real life sorrows and pains.” –Matt Chandler, Lead Pastor, The Village Church

Rest Reveals Our Identity

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Hebrews 4 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday May 19-20, 2012.

What is one of the least emphasized descriptions of Hell? I think it comes from Hebrews 4 when it twice quotes Psalm 95:11, “They shall not enter my rest.” I’m not sure that is how I have thought of eternal torment, but I am also not sure I can think of anything more painful.

Imagine always striving but never arriving. Put yourself in the position of always being measured, but never accepted. Picture aiming at a perpetually moving target as if your life depended upon it. I don’t think it is that hard for most of us to let our imaginations go there, because this is how most of us live.

God offers a solution for this – Sabbath (Heb. 4:9-10). But too often we think of Sabbath as a legalistic obligation rather than a gracious gift. We want to know what we can’t do instead of resting in what Christ has already done to purchase our rest.

In order to understand the significance of Sabbath I think we need to look at the fourth of the Ten Commandments where God said, “Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy… You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath (Deut. 5: 12 and 15).”

God was making a direct connection between being delivered from slavery and keeping the Sabbath. Next to freedom, what does a slave want most? Rest. A slave is driven by his/her master. A slave is a commodity who is owned and his/her worth is measured by productivity. A slave is expendable. These realities mean a slave is beaten for or threatened against resting.

God is saying that His deliverance from slavery (whether that be from Egypt, sin at salvation, or idolatry in our sanctification) changes our identity from slave to son. What is one of the chief privileges of a son? Rest. A son is loved by his father. A son is an image bearer who carries the family name. A son is irreplaceable. These facets of identity allow a son to rest.

This rest is more than a vacation or a day off. When the son of a good father works he is not looking over his shoulder to see if his work is “good enough.” The son of a good father works to perpetuate the good name he has been given. The son of a good father is not defined by his work. The son of a good father finds his security in the love he receives on his best and worst days.

This is why our hope is not in rest, but in the God who purchased our rest at the cost of His Son. We are not refreshed by a day of restricted labor. We are enlivened by the love of a God who commands rest so that we do not forget what He has done for us. Our rest is a celebration of Christ’s work.

How does this change the way we approach Sabbath?

We recognize Sabbath as a gift not a restriction.

We engage Sabbath as a celebration of the gospel.

We allow Sabbath (sonship) to invade even our “work days.”

We recognize fear and insecurity as more anti-Sabbath than activity.

We view our stillness as an act of faith in God’s being a loving, good Father.

We recognize our driven-ness is mistaking Hell for Heaven.

C.S. Lewis Says, “Try Until You Realize You Can’t”

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Thus, in one sense the road back to God is a road of moral effort, of trying harder and harder. But in another sense it is not trying that is ever going to bring us home. All this trying leads up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, ‘You must do this. I can’t.’ Do not, I implore you, start asking yourselves, ‘Have I reached that moment?’ Do not sit down and start watching your own mind to see if it is coming along. That puts a man quite on the wrong track (p. 146).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

So, should we “try harder” to please God? Lewis’ answer seems to be, “Yes, try as hard as you can, until you realize you are utterly incapable. Then use that realization to bring you to humble reliance upon God. But never attempt to measure your reliance upon God, because it will mutate to passivity or pride. The result of unmeasured reliance will be a consistent humble effort.”

Even restating Lewis’ logic makes it feel like a contradiction or as if it is making something simple too complex. But each step in the journey proves absolutely necessary.

Phase One: Try Until You Fail. Until we prove we can’t, we will always wonder if we could. This was true for me in every athletic venture I have ever attempted as a teenager. It is true of every cooking show I watch as a grown man. The parallel breaks down, however, because my athletic prowess and cooking aptitude far exceed my ability to live a holy life.

Phase Two: Rely Fully On God. Desperation is only bad if all you have is yourself. If you are desperate and able to rely on God, then that is called humility, brokenness, or the essence of gospel-living. This is what we will spend the rest of our life trying to maintain. But how do we “keep doing” what we “could never do”?

Phase Three: Refuse to Measure Reliance. We usually start by dissecting how we came to reliance. We want to know what we prayed, what books we read, how we came to humility, who influenced us, how we interacted with people, and the answer to other similar questions.

There is a problem with dissecting something. The “something” always dies. This is especially true of relational experiences like romance, comedy, or our walk with God. When we start defining how to (active verb) rely on (passive verb) God we have asked a question with internal contradiction.

Or, as Lewis says, if we ask, “Have I reached that moment?” (point in time question) when faith is about a living relationship (continuous activity), our question has led us away from living in reliance.

Phase Four: Discover Restful Work or Humble Striving. So the result is that phase one proves to us our inadequacy, phase two frees us from the guilt our failure deserves, phase three prevents us from taking the first u-turn back to our old life, so that in phase four we experience what God always intended.

Read Genesis 1:26-31 in light of this reflection. Consider the task given to Adam (and soon to be Eve). Have dominion over the whole earth. Take care of it all; every bird, fish, animal, and plant. While you’re at it, multiply and fill the whole earth. Start first thing tomorrow by resting all day (2:1-3).

God was prescribing restful work; work that recognized Adam’s full reliance upon God, but that was diligent enough to merit the word “work.” This was the beauty of effort before sin created distance between God and man. It is the gospel (phase two) that restores us to phase four if we will admit phase one and avoid phase three.

Contented Contentment

I used to think that contentment merely meant being satisfied with what God provided. With this definition all I had to do was to avoid grumbling and anxiety (easier said than done), and I passed the contentment test.

But I realized I was cheating, or, at least, that my definition was incomplete. I was only measuring contentment by my attitude towards “stuff” not the “time” I exchanged for that stuff for or the “drive” that fueled the time I traded for stuff.

The harder I worked and the more I did, the more God provided. I could expand my margins of contentment through a good work ethic, sound financial management, and a strong entrepreneurial drive. I don’t think these things are bad, they just allowed me to avoid a key area of my character development.

When I only looked at contentment as a money issue, I could unhealthily pull on “my” reserves of time and energy to equal the ledger for my desire for stuff.

Further, this definition served my flesh well, because I value achievement much more than I value stuff. So not only could I cheat the self-defined system, I could become more self-righteous as I did it. Contentment was a virtue for greedy people not ambitious people – I wasn’t “one of them.”

As I have wrestled with this expanded definition of contentment, I have realized that contentment was not a limit God put on me (be satisfied with less), but a gift of rest God offers and wants me to embrace. God offers contentment to people at every point on the socio-economic spectrum and at every rung on the ladder of success.

Now my definition for contentment goes like this, “Contentment is being satisfied with what God provides when we exercise our God given gifts and abilities within a godly stewardship of our time and relationships for God’s glory.”

This view of contentment is harder to cheat. At least it is new enough that my flesh has not been able to exercise its full creative energies upon it yet.

In my contented (i.e., restfully sane) moments, I don’t want to cheat this definition. When I truly see that contentment is the rest that God wants to inject into everything I do, I run to this virtue not away from it.

This challenges me with a larger question, “What is wrong with me that I do not always see every virtue that God offers me in Christ as a gift? How can my moral vision be so skewed that death looks like life?”

For me, and I suspect for many others, the answer is pride. I resist rest because it insults me. Rest reminds me that God is capable of everything even when I’m doing nothing. Rest shows me how little my effort actually adds to God’s sovereignty.

Rest reminds me that God involves me because He loves me and takes pleasure in my pleasure as I express the gifts He gave me. When I am content enough to see this, it gives me a joy that makes my work and my rest the life-sustaining pleasure they were intended to be.

Renewing Our Strength

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Let me start by acknowledging how much I dislike this post. I frequently say that I wish patience was a spiritual gift instead of a fruit of the Spirit so I could say, “I didn’t get that one.” Waiting and patience are not my thing (apart from God’s grace and the surrender of my will).

But let’s start by considering how exhausting it is when we fail to wait upon the Lord. Even if God did nothing to reward our waiting upon Him, we would feel renewed from the absence of worrying, fretting, what if-ing, fear-based planning, and other control-rooted behaviors in our life.

In this case, obedience could truly be its own reward and be a steal of a deal. We would rid ourselves of things that ate away at our life (with no short-term, pleasurable reward like other sins) and get peace in return. That is a trade we should be looking to make all day long.

Yet I think we can take this verse much further. When we wait upon the Lord we are expecting God to be present in the process not just the outcome. Too often we look at the end product of a decision or situation and grade God exclusively upon that. If we like the outcom

e, then God was good, for us, or listening. If we do not like the outcome, then God was unfair, against us, or silent.

When this is the case, then the whole time we are “waiting” (different connotation to the word) we are trying to figure out if God cares. We are feeding the belief system that Scripture might not be true. We know what the Bible says, but life could invalidate it at any moment. This is like living in the crunch-time moment of your favorite sporting event all the time – it’s exhausting.

When we truly wait upon the Lord, we expect God to be active the process of our decision or situation. We recognize that God is constantly shaping our character (and appreciate His kindness in doing so). Our expectation is that each moment of life should draw us to trust Him more and that is the outcome we desire most in every situation.

This gives us the vitalizing sense of God’s presence and care even before we know the outcome. We are now renewed, so that even if the outcome is not what we desire we have the strength and confidence by God’s grace to persevere. When we fail to wait on the Lord we are so depleted by the time we get to the outcome, that if the outcome is bad we despair.

I must confess I should like this post more. I see the truth in it. It makes sense to me. But it calls me to surrender control (which I don’t really have) in order to get peace (which I really want). I think if I can remember this it will make the moments in life that I like least, some of the most precious and valuable to me. That would be a powerful act of God’s redemptive grace in my sinful heart.

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Mystery, Confidence, Suffering, & Glory – Ephesians 3:1-13

Stewardship of God’s Grace (3:2)

Usually when we talk about stewardship in the church it either means we are talking about money (because we are behind budget) or time (because we need nursery workers). Before you click off this blog, in this case we are talking about neither. We are talking about God’s grace, the Gospel. We are not merely partakers of God’s grace and we are not owners of it. We are stewards – it has been entrusted to us by the Owner that we would carry out His will with it.

One key component of being a good steward is to frequently examine your use of the object. If you leave someone to steward (watch out and care for as you would) your child, pet, or home, you would expect that they regularly had their eyes on it and thought about it frequently. Paul obviously did this with the Gospel. He was overcome by what he had been given to take to the world and could not get his mind off of it.

Application: Get an object that reminds you of the Gospel and keep it in your pocket (something like a small cross or a wooden “G”). As you load your pockets in the morning, as you reach for your keys or change throughout the day, and as you unload your pockets at night, ask yourself, “How did I do at being a steward of God’s grace?” Reflect on the day for opportunities you may have missed and what you could have said or done to be a better steward. This makes for great conversation at the family dinner table.

Confidence Through Our Faith in Christ

(BCH_Eph3A_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

It is almost hard to think of confidence without the prefix “self” attached to it. But Scripture speaks much more of faith-confidence than self-confidence. We find that again in Ephesians 3:12, “with confidence through our faith in him [Christ].”

Ironically, we only need faith when we have come to the end of our “self.” Until we come to the end of our self we only need determination, education, training, or opportunity.  Once we come to the end of our self, we need faith; it is the only hope we have left.

Consider the following questions to help you assess whether your confidence (which is a good attribute for a Christian to cultivate) is in self or Christ by faith.

  • When you are fearful or anxious do you first plan harder or pray?
  • Are you able to face a challenge with a restful heart?
  • Do you see God as the source of your talents and abilities?
  • Do you see God as the source of your opportunities and good breaks?
  • When you give advice do you m

    ention relying on God?

  • Do you succumb to self-abasement after a failure?
  • Do you succumb to self-pity after a bad break?
  • Is your prayer life marked by gratitude?
  • Do you succumb to a fear of failure to avoid embarrassment?
  • Are you willing to confess your sins to God and others?
  • Are you able to attempt great things for God while maintaining humility?

Faith-confidence is a work in progress for every one of us. The goal is to consistently have an honest self-assessment of where we are between pride/self-love and shame/self-hatred. As long as “self” is our primary pre-fix, our life is not God-dependent.

Do Not Lose Heart in Suffering (3:13)

It is comforting to notice how many times Scripture connects suffering with the temptation to lose heart. God know us. If Scripture only spoke of how suffering is turned to good or how it shapes our character, I would be discouraged. Not because I disagree with either of those statements. But because, I would think the Bible had someone much stronger than me in mind for its audience.

But what are we to make of Paul saying his suffering was the Ephesians glory? When we suffer for someone we are demonstrating that we love them. Jesus suffering on our behalf on the cross demonstrates His love for us. True love (here not used in the romantic sense, but love that is in keeping with God’s character) changes things for the better. Paul is saying, “If you see Christ in what I am doing on your behalf, rejoice in it. God will use my actions and example to transform (sanctify) you more like him.” For a similar statement see Ephesians 5:26.

Reflection: Suffering often seems very meaningless and makes us feel quite alone. Suffering tends to reduce our world to the size of our pain or oppression.  It is good for us to ask, who can I love or serve in the midst of my suffering? Who can I be an example for? What lessons am I learning that could be passed on to another who will suffer after me? As we see in Ephesians 3:13, not only was Paul’s suffering the glory of the Ephesians Christians, but the growth of the maturation of the Ephesians Christians was the meaning and fuel to persevere for Paul in his suffering.

Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time

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Redemption Historical, Personal, & Active – Ephesians 2:11-22

Healthy Remembering (2:11-13)

Have you ever been told you should forget your life (i.e., sins) before your conversion? After all, if God has forgiven you, what point is there in remembering your “old life”? Well, Paul gives very different advice to the believers at Ephesus. Paul not only asks the Ephesians to remember, he reminds them of who they were. In this passage we can glean several aspects of “healthy remembering.”

  1. Healthy remembering protects against pride. The Ephesians church was Gentile and there was competition with the Jewish church. Wherever there are “teams” there is pride. Paul calls on remembering as a tool to combat pride.
  2. Healthy remembering highlights God’s power (not our depravity). Being “saved” only makes sense if we were saved “from” something. Unless we remember our previous condition we will diminish the work of God. But notice (and seek to emulate) how Paul highlights what God is doing instead of denigrating what God had to work with.
  3. Healthy remembering allows us to be a whole person with one story. We spend too much time explaining away our sin by saying, “That really wasn’t me who did/said that.” Our testimony does not need to make it worse. When we fail to remember we begin to speak as if we lived (past tense) and live (present tense) two separate lives and our sin becomes “not me,” so repentance becomes a form of denial.
  4. Healthy remembering allows God’s church to be one body. Humility is essential to unity. “There but for the grace of God go/went I,” is the thread that binds the unity of the church. Unless we remember our whole story, we will grade, rank, and classify ourselves as Christians and divide what God has brought together.

Christ Himself Is Our Peace

(BCH_Eph2B_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

Too often we think of peace as an emotion or a commodity; either something we feel or something we have. Yet Scripture is consistently calling us to know the Prince of Peace as a person. Ephesians 2:14 begins, “For [Christ] himself is our peace.”

Notice the guiding hand of Paul in Philippians 4 coaxing the church to grasp this as they wrestle with anxiety. In verse 7 he begins where they are (thinking of peace as a commodity), “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” But by verse 9 he is pointing them to a person, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me

Learning God’s Presence (with Thomas C. Oden)

Too often we miss the most amazing and profound aspects of our world.  We miss the smile of a loved one.  We miss the miracle of creation.  We miss the calm and rest of quiet and stillness.  We miss seeing blessings because we are lost in our grumblings.  Most of all we miss the hope of God’s presence.

The following quote comes from The Living God by Thomas C. Oden pages 68-69.

“The presence of God was thought by classical exegetes to encompass the widest possible range of creaturely activity:

1. God is naturally present in every aspect of the natural order, every level of causality, every fleeting moment and momentous event of natural history (Ps 8:3; Isa 40:12; Nah 1:3ff).

2. God is actively present in a different way in every event of history, as provident guide of human affairs (Ps 48:7).

3. God is in a special way attentively present to those who call upon his name, intercede for others, who adore God, who petition, who pray earnestly for forgiveness (Matt18:19ff; Acts 17:27).

4. God is judicially present in moral awareness, through conscience (Ps 48:1-2).

5. God is bodily present in the incarnation of his Son, Jesus Christ (John 1:14; Col 2:9).

6. God is mystically present in the Eucharist, and through the means of grace in the church, the body of Christ (Eph 2:12ff; John 5:56).

7. God is sacredly present and becomes known in special places where God chooses to meet us, places that become set apart by the faithful, remembering community (I Cor 11:23-29), where it may be said, “Truly the Lord is in this place (Gen 28:16, 23:18; Matt 18:20).”

Use these seven items as a scavenger hunt over the next week.  Notice what is in front of you each moment.  When you see God speak to Him.  Say “Thank you.”  Say “I love you.”  Say “Hello.”  Seeing God in the details of life allows prayer to be more conversational than a discipline or an appointment.  Knowing where and how to look for God fuels hope when the rest of life seems dark.

 
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