All posts tagged Pride

C.S. Lewis on Looking

by brad on May 6, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with 6 Comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in (p. 227).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

lewisOne of the most common maladies of human perception can be summarized in the sentence, “We tend to see first what we fear most.” Think about it.

  •     If you fear rejection, what will you hear in most conversations?
  •     If you fear failure, what will you see the strong possibility of in most situations?
  •     If you fear insignificance, how will you see most of your accomplishments?

This is not a call to positive thinking. Pride can be just as distorting as insecurity and often carries much greater consequences. The traces of humility found in insecurity often allow it to be a less destructive distortion.

Instead, this is a call to self-awareness. What are you looking for and how does it affect what you see and what you feel? The influence is inevitable. Either we will become aware of blindness and ask God for eyes to see or we will remain blind to our blindness.

Those who look to or in themselves for hope will realize there is not “enough.” They may then despise themselves (hatred), isolate (loneliness), give up (despair), get angry (rage), make self-destructive choices (ruin), or merely do the best they can (decay). Regardless where they look determines what they see and what they do.

Those who look to Christ for hope will find that there is “more than enough.” Actually these individuals will see the same life challenges that those in the previous paragraph experience. Looking to Christ does not change our circumstances; in the sense of removing obstacles.

However, they will see these challenges not as threats or insults which must be faced alone, but as the next chapters of their growing relationship with Christ. Pain will still hurt. Disappointment will still sting. Loss will still generate grief.

But in each of these moments, those who look to Christ will be freed from looking within themselves for answers to questions that are bigger than they are (a recipe for inevitable failure). They will be able to turn to the Ancient of Days (Daniel 7:9-22) for perspective and comfort.

Like a child who looks to his/her parent when something unsettling happens; seeking to draw comfort from their experience or demeanor, we can look to God who is not caught off guard and is not threatened to gain comfort and perspective.

When we can face the hard seasons of our life with this confidence, then it allows us to savor the good seasons of our life without fear. We do not have to wait for “the other shoe to drop” or scheme how to freeze this moment in time. We can life like children who trust their parents to care for them. This is what it means to get “everything else thrown in.”

C.S. Lewis on the Gospel Paradox

by brad on February 25, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“There is a paradox. As long as Dick does not turn to God, he thinks his niceness is his own, and just as long as he thinks that, it is not his own. It is when Dick realizes that his niceness is not his own but a gift from God, and when he offers it back to God – it is just then that it begins to be really his own… The only things we can keep are the things we freely give to God. What we try to keep for ourselves is just what we are sure to lose (p. 213).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

lewisPick your greatest strength or personal asset: being nice (as Lewis refers to), intelligence, work ethic, organization, charisma, music ability, athleticism, etc… Place that thing in Lewis’ quote above in order to feel the appropriate sense of discomfort.

Chances are your response is like mine – that is mine (possession) or that is who I am (identity). Lewis says as soon as I think that way I’m wrong – I’ve lost what was given to me by God. How does that work?

What it can’t mean is that the attribute evaporates as soon as I take credit for it. Hard working people don’t cease to be hard working people because they take pride in being better than people who don’t work as hard. If anything, their pride leads them to work harder to maintain their identity.

Two things happen which make their strength “less their own.”

First, they lose the “credit” for their strength before God. When a personal characteristic becomes corrupted by pride no longer does God look upon that “strength” with favor. God does not love us like an employer loves an employee, but like a father loves a son.

An employer looks at the productivity to determine his/her opinion of an employee. The more an employee advances that company or increases the profit margin the more pleased the employer is. It doesn’t matter to an employer if the employee is motivated by fear, pride, greed, or benevolence.

A good father looks at what is best for the son/daughter and determines whether something is good on the basis of their overall well-being. A child can be excelling in a way that is exhausting or compromising his/her character and “winning” will not be seen as good.

That is why when we fail to offer our strengths (and for that matter our weaknesses) to God, He does not count that strengths as “credits” to our account. God sees the pride or false identity in our life and is right to warn of impending danger. That leads to the second thing that happens.

Second, their strength mutates from a blessing to a master – they belong to their strength instead of their strength belonging to them. When we fail to recognize our strength as coming from God, we begin to rely upon our strength for more than it can give.

Either we pridefully believe our strength is what makes us “good” and we judge those who are not good (by the standard of our strength), or we fearfully live with thoughts that we will not be able to continually live up to previous levels of “good.” Either way, we begin to belong to our strength instead of our strength belonging to us.

What is the alternative? It is giving our strength to God in recognition that it came from Him and receiving Christ’s righteousness through the forgiveness of our sins as what makes us “good enough.” When this happens our natural strengths can be restored and used for the purpose God originally gave them to us. They are ours because we are His.

To see the first 100 posts in this series click here.

C.S. Lewis on the Insult of Everything for Nothing

by brad on April 30, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“If you like to put it that way, Christ offers something for nothing: He even offers everything for nothing. In a sense, the whole Christian life consists in accepting that very remarkable offer. But the difficulty is to reach the point of recognizing that all we have done and can do is nothing. What we should have liked would be for God to count our good points and ignore our bad ones (p. 147).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Would you trade your pride for everything? Obviously, this is a bit of a trick question. “Everything” would not include the things that exacerbated your pride if your pride was what you were trading.

Let’s phrase the question more accurately. Would you trade all your self-sufficiency for a clean conscience, contentment regardless of circumstances, and an eternity of losing yourself in the greatness of God?

The sticky one is “losing myself.” It is both what we want and what we resist. We pay to go to concerts, sporting events, and natural wonders to lose ourselves in something bigger than us. People abuse drugs and alcohol to escape (i.e., lose themselves) for a brief period of time.

BUT… the catch is that none of these are permanent and necessary. We can leave the concert, or stop our substance when choose. We are still Lord of our lives. That is the turning point of the gospel. God offers us freely what we already trade our life for, but the trade is both permanent and necessary. Jesus demands to be Lord if He is accepted as Savior.

More than Jesus demanding to be Lord, this is the essence of salvation because what we are being saved from is ourselves. A doctor cannot both cure you from cancer and leave the cancer. In the same way, Jesus cannot both save you from you and leave you as Lord of you.

The insult of being given everything for nothing is the admission that nothing is all I had to give. The “greatest deal ever” emerges from the “greatest crisis ever.” The question is whether we’ll admit the crisis in order to receive the offer.

The moment we try to minimize our soul crisis or seek to remedy the crisis ourselves we have just picked back up the pride God asks for in exchange for His grace. We find ourselves in a predicament, because the “best deal ever” is hard to accept.

And, strangely, the difficulty is not that the gospel is “too good to be true” but that it’s “too true for us to still be good.” Inherently we know that this is more than a generic admission “that nobody’s perfect.”

We must admit that Jesus died the death I deserved bearing the sin I committed before we can enjoy the blessing He purchased. In effect, we have to look at the price tag of the free gift and acknowledge that price matched our need.

Ultimately, that is the offer. We give God our pride – accepting our moral crisis, refusing to minimize our sin, and recognizing self-improvement is utterly inadequate. God gives us everything – a clean conscience, contentment, and eternal joy in Him. Have you accepted this offer by placing your faith in Christ? If so, do you accept this offer daily as you battle with remaining sin?

Feel Awkward Being Expressive in Worship? Me Too

by brad on March 30, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with 8 Comments

Two realities exist: (1) Scripture commands us to be expressive in our worship, and (2) many people feel awkward clapping, raising their hands, or saying “Amen” in public worship. Both of these realties are self-evident enough; they don’t need to be supported.

But they do need to be navigated and there are many angles from which we can come at the discussion. We can take the Lordship approach – if God commands something, we should obey whether it is natural or not. Or, we could take the progressive sanctification approach – looking for evidence of movement towards God’s ideal and drawing encouragement as we build momentum. Both approaches are good and helpful.

But here I’d like to take a counseling approach to the question – when God calls us to do something, it is dually for our good and His glory. Expressive worship is no different. If we can understand how expressive worship frees us from common elements of the human struggle, the kindness of God can be used to draw us to repentance (Rom 2:4) for disobeying this awkward command.

This is true for even those of us, like myself, who are generally introverted, rhythmically-challenged, reflective worshippers.

What is at the root of the awkwardness we feel? Usually it is some form of self-preoccupation – it feels weird, we don’t want to be noticed, we don’t like our singing voice, we didn’t grow up worshiping this way, etc… Who is at the center of all of those statements? I am (not to be confused with the Great I AM).

What is also at the center of the vast majority (if not all) of our life struggles? I am. Whether it is pride, insecurity, or the ramification of not being able to put myself in the shoes of another person, self-preoccupation is at the center of most life struggles.

What does God want to accomplish in each one of our lives? He wants to free us from being slaves to sin. What does that require? It means God has to save me from me. Think for just a moment about how glorious life would be without pride or insecurity and with the ability understand others. What would you give for that?

Jesus spoke about what the cost for such a life would be, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it (Luke 9:23-24).” This passage reveals how much our instincts betray us and trap us in ourselves.

Too often we take a passage like this and cynically think, “Great! Jesus says I have to the things I dislike in order to be happy.” That misses and distorts the point. The emphasis is not on what we do, but for whom we do it – “for [Jesus’] sake.”

This is where expressive worship comes in. It is a regular way that I can be drawn out of myself purely for the glory of God. I have the opportunity to be weekly led to forget myself and focus on God. It is one of the few times I can be in a room full of people doing something and be free from thinking about me. I need that! I desperately need that. Apart from corporate worship, I have no idea where else I could find anything comparable.

I cannot think of a better remedy for pride, insecurity, or other forms of self-preoccupation than to celebrate someone infinitely greater than myself in such a way that I lose myself in the presence of people I’d otherwise want to impress.

Is that not the entire point of worship? To celebrate God so vividly that “the things of earth [myself included] grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace (Hymn: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus).”

Now let’s be honest. Does this make expressive worship any easier? My personal testimony is, “Yes and No.” On the one hand, if I walk into worship rushed and distracted, then my expressive-instincts are not strong enough to over-ride my reserved nature. I still have to remind myself why it’s important (obedience) and how God is changing me through worship.

On the other hand, I now have an appetite to worship God in a way wants me to be freed from me. More than this, I want those moments of corporate freedom to carry over into my family life, thoughts, and emotions. I can now pray for a freedom in worship believing God wants to give me something that is truly for His glory and, also, my good. I still have to withstand the awkwardness of self-preoccupation, but I have tasted the freedom of self-forgetfulness and it’s worth it.

That’s my journey in this area of obedience to (and growing enjoyment of) God. What’s yours?

C.S. Lewis’ Portrait of Humility

by brad on January 23, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all (p. 128).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

This is my favorite description of humility, because it takes the focus off of humility; which is what I think humility would want if you asked it. When I finish reading the quote, humility feels like freedom more than a standard to achieve.

Yet there is great practicality in the description. A baseline question for determining humility is, “How well do I listen to others?” Listening is an action that bestows honor on others without sacrificing personal dignity or enjoyment.

I think most people get this instinctually. When we are around someone we highly esteem and they ask us a question, we feel honored. We think more fondly of them because they would be interested in our thoughts on the subject. We simultaneously admire their humility and awe at their strength.

Which is why I find it odd that I so naturally thought of humility in the ways in which Lewis caricaturized it. I thought of humility as weakly avoiding eye contact while deferring every compliment and downplaying every accomplishment. I would have never taught it that way but I did “see” it that way.

Part of that is undoubtedly the distortion of my sinful nature. The corruption of my heart would never define something as wholesome and life giving as humility in an appealing way. Culturally, I think this is why so many people who say they want a “high self-esteem” would rather have the “freedom of humility” if they tasted both.

The question becomes what frees me from listening with genuine interest in others (a mark of true humility) rather than listening through the lens of insecurity (pride in its fearful form)? The answer is simply when someone gracious, dependable, and with a heart for the world has become the most important person in my life—namely, God.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be gracious. I will fail many times. After all, “nobody’s perfect.” Unless the most important person in my world is gracious, my failures (shame, anger, or blame-shifting) will kill humility.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be dependable. Life changes. After all, “nothing stays the same.” Unless the most important person in my world is dependable, anticipating the future (fear or greed) will kill humility.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must have a heart for the world. I will imitate the most important person in my life. Therefore, unless the most important person in my world cares deeply for people I won’t either. In the end, Jesus is the embodiment of humility (Philippians 2:1-11) and the key to my humility.

C.S. Lewis on The Devil’s Cure

by brad on January 16, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“The devil loves ‘curing’ a small fault by giving you a great one (p. 127).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

It is easy to think that moving away from a problem is the same as moving towards something better. But this is the lie behind most of life’s devastating sins. No one runs face first into addiction. They run looking over their shoulder at a lesser problem and into the arms of addiction. Bankruptcy is what happens when you solve every problem (focal point) with your debt (blind spot).

It is easy to think that everyone who sympathizes with your problem is your friend. But this false assumption is the foundation for every scam. A drug dealer needing to make a sale will listen to your problems in order to pitch his “solution.” Sexual predators specialize in listening to hurting kids on social media to serve as an inroad to their trust.

This does not mean that all sympathy is dangerous or that progress is always a mirage. It does mean that our ability to change for the better is hampered when we focus exclusively on our struggle. When we focus on our struggle, even if we are disgusted by it, we get the false notion that different is the same as better.

When you focus on how dumb you are everyone else becomes smart. When you focus on how weak you are everyone else becomes strong. The problem is when you try to apply “their” wisdom, there is a strong probability it will fail and when you try to rely on “their” strength, it will let you down. By focusing upon faults we never gain an appreciation for what is truly wise, strong, and good.

Not only does Satan love to cure small faults with big ones (goal), he seals the deal by getting us lost in our faults (method). This is an ingenious way to blind those who can see. If Satan can get us to look for the wrong thing with great intensity, then we will miss, ignore, or reject the right thing even when we look right at it.

What do I mean? If Satan can get us so focused on our faults that we fail to look at Christ, then we are functionally blind to the wisdom, cure, strength, and hope we need. When we focus on our faults we feel dirty when we look at Christ instead of realizing He will cleanse us. When we focus on our faults we feel stupid when we look at Christ instead of realizing He offers wisdom.

It is by focusing us on our faults that Satan blinds our seeing eyes to true hope and, thereby, makes “greater faults” seem like the only “solution” available. Each time we apply Satan’s solutions we feel more stupid (retrospect proves we can see) and are more prone to use the next “desperate measure.” We feel more dirty and less apt to approach anything clean or pure.

So what do we do? We stop and look to Christ. We gaze at life itself. We marvel at life lived as God intended. We begin to live towards something instead of just away from our faults. We repent of our faults and accept that hope can only be received, not earned.

When this is done, greater faults and false compassion lose their appeal. Our vision is restored. While we may still fall many times, we fall forward towards Christ. We realize we repent instead of making “double or nothing” deals with life. We take sin more seriously but less frantically so that we resist Satan’s offer to exchange small faults with great ones.

C.S. Lewis on Self-Respect and Devil’s Laughter

by brad on January 9, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“[Pride] is purely spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy’s Pride, or, as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently: many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper, by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity—that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride. (p. 125).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I think this quote boils down to trying to understand with what’s so wrong with thinking that sin is “beneath me”? If someone is “pro-pride,” they probably aren’t reading this reflection. Few people have a problem with acknowledging that Satan would love to see us lay down a less destruction sin for a more destructive one.

So the point that makes this quote uncomfortable is that Lewis depicts it as Satan’s ultimate setup to get me to view sin as “beneath me.” I find myself internally torn on this one. My gut doesn’t automatically go where Lewis goes, but I agree with the point he’s making. I have given myself the “you’re better than that” pep talk to avoid sin.

As I wrestle with Lewis’ warning about pride, I realize there is a better pep talk to give (and receive). It is the “that is not who you are” talk. The first pep talk was focused on rank and status – better than. The latter is based on identity.

The difference, as I think Lewis would affirm, is that Jesus did not come to make much of me (rank and status) but to reside in me and adopt me (change my identity and name). When I get this I realize sin is not “beneath me” it is “outside of me.” I was born “in sin” and now I am “in Christ.”

The reason that sin is resisted has less to do with my dignity and everything to do with His. If I begin to think about my dignity, Satan has half the battle won. I am comparing sin to me. Sin does not appear nearly as sinful when I compare it with my nature.

The more I marvel at my nature, the dingier my nature becomes and the less I am looking to Christ as my righteousness. Disdain for every sin that is not actively relying upon Christ is the epitome of being a Pharisee—loving the laws that make me look good, because they make me look good and give me status.

If I were to summarize Lewis’s point and application, it would be: If Satan cannot get us to love self by sinning, then he is content to get us to love self by feeling superior to sin. God calls us to find life by denying self and, thereby, experiencing the freedom God intended.

An example might be helpful. Lewis says we can overcome cowardice by pride and this would be a bad thing. The problem would be that you would have to convince yourself you are “above” what you fear. If you fear rejection, then “it wouldn’t matter what people say.” This has the strong potential of giving us deaf ears to important messages of critique.

However, if what people say matters but does not define who I am, then I can be steadfast without the deafening influence of pride. I could face my fear as real, learning from my fear and the words of critique, without having to condemn myself or those who raise questions. That is the freedom of humility.

C.S. Lewis’ Cure for Pride: Part 1

by brad on January 2, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with 2 Comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone (p. 122).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

My first fear as I read this quote is, “Could I keep my level of motivation if I lost the drive of competition?” For as long as I can remember I have used competition in order to spur me on. I see people who do great things (athletically, academically, or spiritually) and I am challenged to be where they are; energy grows within me as I see someone ahead of me.

As I listen to myself I am taken to Hebrews 10:24, “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” Have I misused competition as a sinful application of this verse? Or, have I rightly applied this verse and just used a bad word to describe what was happening?

Competition as Sinful Application

I think the answer is both. There are times when I have wanted to overtake (get ahead of) the one I perceive to be in front of me. The tone of my heart is, “They must decrease (at least by one spot) to make room for me, so I can increase.”

In these cases I want to win. Pride is crouching at my door (Gen. 4:7) and I am welcoming it into my living room so I can use it as a spiritual-steroid. Just like in the Olympics, I become a disqualified contestant in God’s race of faith because I am using the performance-enhancing drug of sin (1 Cor. 9:24).

In these cases even my effectiveness only accelerates my soul rot. I begin to see pride as my “friend” because it helped me “win” and am able to justify it because it was “for God” (such an oxymoron when it comes to sin of pride). Next time I am prone to call my “friend” pride to come help, instead of competitive pride having to crouch at the door and ask to be let in.

Right Action; Wrong Word

There are other times when I think what I am calling competition is merely swept up in the current of another person’s example of excellence. Instead of crying out, “They must decrease so I can increase,” my heart says, “I love where they’re going and want to go there with them.”

In this case I think I am following the relational dynamic recommended by Paul in I Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” The key word that changes everything is “with” instead of “ahead.”

One is built upon a pure desire for mutual progress (with) which is enthused for the example to charge ahead to blaze the trail for me and others. The other is built upon rank (ahead) which wants to see the example fade and treats “others” who may rise up as only “new competition.”

Conclusion

As in all cases of questions asked of the human heart, I find my motives to be neither all bad nor all good. I cannot justify myself even in my “best” (especially in terms of “rank”) actions (Isa. 64:6). But as I see my heart more clearly by the light of God grace, I am freed from the sin of competitive pride, because I realize the prize I was striving for is received, not won.

C.S. Lewis’ Pride Evaluation Question

by brad on December 26, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“If you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, ‘How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronize me, or show off?’ The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with every one else’s pride (p. 122).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I think it would be wrong to take from Lewis’ question that one should like being snubbed, ignored, or patronized. There is a healthy level of wanting to steward the voice, talents, and life God has given you that should make these experiences unpleasant to everyone.

Lewis’ question is based upon “how much” we dislike these experiences. Do we walk away disappointed that we did not get to serve in the ways God gifted us or do we replay the offense in our mind for the better part of a week? Do we mourn the immaturity of a companion who would patronize another, or do we internally rage that our “honor” was besmirched?

As I try to think through Lewis’ question, I believe it implies a preliminary question, “Do I have enough of a sense of God’s calling and gifting in my life that I crave to make an impact for God’s kingdom on the world around me?” If so, then I will be bothered when the sin or immaturity of others detracts from those opportunities.

However, if that sense of being bothered is “too much,” then it is a strong indication that the kingdom for which I am trying to make an impact is my own instead of God’s (i.e., pride).When I am advancing God’s kingdom, I realize that others being inconsiderate does little to stop the tides of redemptive history. Their actions are like a heckler at a NASCAR race telling the drivers they’re slow; annoying, but inconsequential in the outcome of the race.

So what should an appropriate level of “dislike” be? I think it should be in the range of disappointment—an emotion from which we learn, make minor modifications as possible, and move on. If I miss an opportunity to express God’s gifts because of the rudeness or ignorance of another, I think it is right (morally before God, not just “personal rights”) to be disappointed.

How should I respond to such a disappointment? Learn what I can about how to live more effectively in a broken world with my fellow fallen people. Exert whatever influence can still be beneficial in the original situation. Then move on expecting that God is still active and His purposes will not be thwarted by any human shenanigans.

But how do I recapture the opportunity that was lost? Answer: By responding in a way that makes God’s character known in light of the offense. Humility allows me to see that the opportunity to advance God’s kingdom was not taken away, but transformed. Pride is so committed to magnifying God in its strengths that it missed the opportunity to magnify God in its weakness.

So as I think through Lewis’ question and try to determine, “How bothered is so bothered that it is personal pride rather than godly mission?” The best answer I can create is that offense becomes pride when it distracts me from the next opportunity to serve God, especially with the one who offended me. It is pride that blinds me and humility that gives me eyes to see.

The Ultimate Scary Movie

by brad on December 23, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

I have periodic nightmares of various kinds. They can involve pirates and adventures gone awry at sea or losing a member of my family. I am not sure what causes them. My television viewing is largely restricted to sports, news, cooking shows, cartoons (for the kids, of course), or shows with talking animals (I’m a sucker for Narnia and Aflac commercials).

Recently I had one where I was being chased by a serial killer. It was eerily like the stupid movies I’ve seen commercials for. I was running and running through this old house to get away. After much effort (my wife says I didn’t wake her up), I was out of the house. Then I went back in the house to use the restroom.

The real me was screaming at the dream me, “Don’t be stupid!” But dream me didn’t listen. As I walk through the house (no longer running or fearful) looking for the restroom, from out of nowhere a butcher knife takes a hack at me. I spent the rest of the dream keeping the blade away from my neck.

When I woke up strangling my pillow, my heart was racing and I had time to think. I don’t have the spiritual gift of dream interpretation, but as I thought of how foolish it was to walk back into the house, I had a thought – that is how foolish it is for me to sin in private.

Any time we sin and fail to confess to those that God would use to point us back in the right direction (Heb 3:12-13), we are like dream me walking back into the house with the mass murderer (1 Pet. 5:8). It was a picture that resonated with me. Rarely had I viewed sin in that fashion.

If I were advising dream me, I would have said, “Run like the dickens (in my dreams the main character usually has a strong country accent) to the first phone that you can find with the line not cut and call 9-1-1.” Why would I treat sin any differently?

Is it macho pride because I want to show that I can handle it?

Is it twisted insecurity that values my reputation more than my life?

Is it immaturity that believes sin is “no big deal”?

Is it brute pleasure that enjoys the thrill?

What reason would I have accepted from dream me? Answer: none. There would be no reason that would justify wandering through a house with a mass murderer lurking to look for a rest room.

The next time that you struggle with sin and are hesitant to reach out to a Christian friend for accountability and encouragement, remember this post and don’t become “my dream come true.”

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