All posts tagged Grace

Survivor’s Guilt and the Problem of Grace

by brad on December 14, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

There is a common emotional experience amongst those who survive a tragedy that resulted in the death of many of their peers—guilt. It could be a school shooting, tsunami, or escaping a burning building. Those who survive are left with a question that defies answer and troubles the soul, “Why me? Why did I avoid the bullet, flood, or collapsing ceiling?”

It may be as simple as watching a commercial about starving children and opening a pantry full of food. Why me?

It should quickly be stated that this guilt is a form of false guilt. There is no moral standard that is broken by surviving a tragedy. But we can all sympathize with the kind of emotions this experience would bring. Why was I spared and my classmate died? Why did I happen to be out of town when the rest of my family was at home near the coast? Why did I happen to be just out the door when the building collapsed?

This emotional experience turns what is traditionally understood as “the problem of evil” on its head. No longer are we asking, “Why are these bad things happening to me when I’ve been good?” Instead we are forced to ask the question, “What did I do to be spared when so many I cared about perished?”

The question echoes in our soul because we know there is no answer. We cannot say, “I did [blank] so I was spared.” We can’t even really say, “I did [blank] so I shouldn’t have been spared.” There was nothing substantively different (for better or worse) between us and those who perished.

I believe the experience of survivor’s guilt can be a powerful lens for us to gain a better understanding God’s grace, salvation, and our motivation for evangelism.

As Christians we face “the problem of grace” that is equal to or greater than “the problem of evil.” We are forced to answer why we have been spared the consequences of our sin more than why particular intense consequences of the Fall (not always consequences of personal sin) are still permitted.

Ultimately, Christians ask questions about evil from the grace side of eternity. This does not negate the real impact of real tragedies on Christians. But it does mean we ask question about these great tragedies as those who have been spared from the greatest tragedy – Hell and separation from God.

What does that sound like? If you have had a conversation with someone who is well-adjusted after surviving a major calamity, you know. They do not down play the pains of others, but they have a way of sympathetically putting other’s hardships into perspective.

They listen well; often as they wish they had been heard. They empathize deeply; because they know pain is real. When it is appropriate they are able to speak timely words that highlight hope without condemning the hurt and confusion of the moment.

How are they able to “be with” the person and yet “outside” the experience at the same time? The answer is that life has taught them to ask a different question, or, at least, to ask the same question (Why me?) from a different perspective – the problem of grace rather than evil.

This new perspective allows for both compassion and wisdom. Our calling as Christians is to wrestle with the problem of grace – why would God have mercy upon us? But not in a way that leads to self-deprecating insecurity. Instead we should allow this question to offer a compassionate, God-centered perspective as we gain the strength to enter the real pain of other people.

We begin to realize it was actually Jesus who faced the problem of evil (Heb. 2:17-18, 4:14-16) so that our experience could be the problem of grace. Yet He did this without losing any of his compassion for us in the experience. As we bring the gospel to people who are both hurting and sinful, we must show the same compassion as we help them see that their “problems of evil” (which are real) can be re-contextualized as “problems of grace” by faith in Christ.

This side of heaven we may never answer the problems of evil we face (it is often hurtful when we try to “connect the dots” and give answers). But we can remember the question of grace that allows us to trust our faithful God in the midst of confusing hardships of life.

“You Sin Less than Anyone I Know”

by brad on July 20, 2012 in Personal Entry with 5 Comments

It was one of those “mystery pain” nights. My seven year old came down because his “side was hurting.” It conveniently began to be uncomfortable just after we turned out the lights for bed. But I was up for some late night chatter, so I offered to lie in the floor next to his bed until it felt better.

Sallie and I had been watching a movie about Alexander the Great when he came down stairs, so he asked me what it was about.  I explained that it was about a man who tried to and nearly succeeded in conquering the whole world.

He paused for a moment and said that is why he never wanted to be President; he was afraid having that much power would be too tempting for him. It was a sweet moment of realizing how deeply his young mind thought about life and how seriously (at least when he’s thinking) he takes his sin nature.

From there he rambled for a while about a cartoon where a main character was corrupted by power and the lessons he learned in first grade about the checks and balances in government. It was a delight and highly entertaining to lie in the floor and listen to his mind connect the dots between various sources of information he had been exposed to.

As a side note, I highly recommend the occasional late night hang out with your children. Whether we’re camping or waiting out a phantom side pain (I’m still not convinced), rarely do I leave without hearing a side of my boys’ hearts that I would not get during the day.

Somewhere in the midst of his chatter he said, “You know, Papa, you sin less than anyone I know,” and then went on to say why he agreed with me instead of something he heard at school.

That moment was very convicting to me. Earlier that evening we had tried to learn the game of Monopoly for the first time with the participation of my five year old son. Being the perfectionist that I am, I only know one way to play a game – “the right way.” Evidently my wife believes that the “author’s original intent” does not apply to the rule book of board games, so there was much for them to unlearn from their initial exposure to Monopoly with her the day before.

While both boys had fun, I cannot say that patience would be the word that best describes my “coaching” of the fundamentals of Monopoly. I would not volunteer the footage of that home movie as a how to video on family game night.

My son’s assessment of me made my “acceptable sharpness” look different to me. It showed me how much of a standard bearer I am for my sons. At this age (I know it will change), they assume almost everything I do is right and everything that bothers me is wrong. My “emotional climate” is their reality.

When they get bigger, one significant gauge for how much they will question their faith is how accurate my example was to the teaching of Scripture and how effectively my example can be followed in the real world. Hearing his sincere words about how he views me, makes me question how effective saying, “Only Jesus is perfect, so don’t base your faith on me,“ will be.

As he moves into adulthood he will be able to separate my example from Jesus, but in the formative years of pre-teen and teen-dom it seems likely that my example (as his father) will be his vision of Jesus. Until he can transition from the concrete example of his earthly father to the intangible God-as-Spirit and God-as-Word revealed in Scripture, I’m it.

That gave weight to something I have said many times, “We teach values more by our emotions than by our words.” So in that evening I confessed to my son that I had not even handled our Monopoly game well and that I’d been too impatient. I don’t think he believed me. In that moment God used him to teach me a truth I needed to learn from the innocent love of a child, “Love covers a multitude of sins (I Pet 4:8).”

C.S. Lewis’ Portrait of Humility

by brad on January 23, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all (p. 128).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

This is my favorite description of humility, because it takes the focus off of humility; which is what I think humility would want if you asked it. When I finish reading the quote, humility feels like freedom more than a standard to achieve.

Yet there is great practicality in the description. A baseline question for determining humility is, “How well do I listen to others?” Listening is an action that bestows honor on others without sacrificing personal dignity or enjoyment.

I think most people get this instinctually. When we are around someone we highly esteem and they ask us a question, we feel honored. We think more fondly of them because they would be interested in our thoughts on the subject. We simultaneously admire their humility and awe at their strength.

Which is why I find it odd that I so naturally thought of humility in the ways in which Lewis caricaturized it. I thought of humility as weakly avoiding eye contact while deferring every compliment and downplaying every accomplishment. I would have never taught it that way but I did “see” it that way.

Part of that is undoubtedly the distortion of my sinful nature. The corruption of my heart would never define something as wholesome and life giving as humility in an appealing way. Culturally, I think this is why so many people who say they want a “high self-esteem” would rather have the “freedom of humility” if they tasted both.

The question becomes what frees me from listening with genuine interest in others (a mark of true humility) rather than listening through the lens of insecurity (pride in its fearful form)? The answer is simply when someone gracious, dependable, and with a heart for the world has become the most important person in my life—namely, God.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be gracious. I will fail many times. After all, “nobody’s perfect.” Unless the most important person in my world is gracious, my failures (shame, anger, or blame-shifting) will kill humility.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must be dependable. Life changes. After all, “nothing stays the same.” Unless the most important person in my world is dependable, anticipating the future (fear or greed) will kill humility.

In order to be humble the most important person in my life must have a heart for the world. I will imitate the most important person in my life. Therefore, unless the most important person in my world cares deeply for people I won’t either. In the end, Jesus is the embodiment of humility (Philippians 2:1-11) and the key to my humility.

Learning from a Counterfeit Lord’s Supper

by brad on December 28, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

Can I admit that I have never really “gotten” the Lord’s Supper the way I think I should? I see the picture of the Gospel, but the experience itself, never seemed to move me, encourage me, or sustain me the way it should. I have wrestled with it for a while; praying that God would help me get out of this practice more of what He put into it. The reflection below has helped me and I pray it will help you.

A Picture of Sin

When training for being stranded at sea military personnel are told repeatedly, “Do not drink the water.”  If you are stranded at sea in the beating sun and thirsty, the sound of lapping water and the feel of wetness on your skin has to be tempting.

But if you drink the water, it provides initial relief followed by a more intense, salt-induced thirst. This leads to more salt water consumption. As you drink, the sodium level in your body increases making for a quicker and more painful death experience.

Often we come to sin seeking some relief from legitimate suffering. We get sinfully angry to try to correct a way we have really been wronged. We look at pornography to escape from a truly stressful day. We cheat financially because we are struggling to provide for our family. Yet in every case after the initial relief, sin intensifies the shame and isolation process that makes for a more intense experience of spiritual death.

A Counterfeit Lord’s Supper

With this picture in mind, let me offer a heretical liturgy. Take a glass of water and give it a strong dose of salt. Get a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. These will be the “elements” of your counterfeit Lord’s Supper (when sin is your Master; John 8:34). On your cup of salt water tape a piece of paper with the names of the sins you retreat to for “relief.”

As you “take the cup,” say to yourself, “This is the cup of my sin. ‘Take and drink because I care for you and want to make your life better. I give you myself,’ sin says to me.” Drink the salt water.

As you “take the bread,” say to yourself, “This is my body available to you. ‘Take and eat. Lose yourself in me and I will protect you,’ sin says to me.” Eat the chips.

Try to sit for 30 minutes and “enjoy” what sin provides. If it becomes difficult (i.e., thirsty), return to “the table of sin” as many times as you like in this half hour. Experience all that sin has to offer. As you do so, look at the words on the cup and be reminded of whose care you are receiving.

The Real Lord’s Supper

After 30 minutes have another private ceremony. This time have a cup of grape juice and a loaf of bread. On the cup of grape juice tape a piece of paper with the words, “Jesus. Gospel. Grace.” Read Matthew 26:26-29 and I Corinthians 11:23-26.

As you take the cup, remind yourself of Jesus’ words, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

As you take the bread, remind yourself again of Jesus’ words, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

Know that you are invited to come and partake of Christ as often as you need to find the protection and sustenance you previously sought in sin. Know that the invitation is always open and His cup never runs dry. Be comforted.

As you taste the sweetness of the juice with no thirst-provoking after-effects, reflect on the superiority of Christ to anything sin offers and read John 4:1-15. As you experience the nourishment of the bread, reflect again on the superiority of Christ and read John 6:22-59.

Join the Conversation

  • How did seeing sin’s alternative meal change the way you approached what is offered at the Lord’s Supper?
  • How did going through the alternative meal change the way you thought about future temptations to the same sins?
  • How did this exercise help you see and run to the availability of Christ during the times you normally would have sought a counterfeit comfort?

Fear By Another Name: “Enough”

by brad on June 17, 2011 in Application Supplement with No comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon “Fear: Homewreckers #3” preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday June 18-19, 2011.

There are many people who deny that their life is marked by fear, but for whom fear is one of their primary motivators. The problem is not necessarily some form of denial or defensiveness. Instead, they don’t recognize their fear as fear because it registers in their thoughts and speech under a different term – enough.

Often this change of language is because the fear does not (at least yet) paralyze them, but merely motivates them (for better or worse). In this way, fear is very similar to stress. Certain levels of stress are healthy and cause us to “perform better” in life. We refer to this when we say, “Competition can bring the best out of people.” However, there comes a point where stress (or fear) is detrimental.

For those who do still view their unhealthy fear as a form of motivation they might refer to themselves as:

  • not being good enough (generally or at a specific activity)
  • not having enough money (for security or compared to others)
  • not having achieved enough (compared to a peer or for their age)
  • not being attractive enough (based upon size or some perceived defect)
  • not being social enough (funny, outgoing, compassionate, etc…)

These types of fears can go by other names than just motivations: insecurity, shyness, being driven, over-achieving, thinking ahead, being a planner, etc…

At this point, I would advise you to pause and consider two questions:

  1. What areas of life do you use the word “enough” to signal an area of fear?
  2. What (if not fear) do you call this struggle with fear?

You have now identified an area in your life where you have the opportunity to rely on God and live out of your identity in Christ in new ways. Don’t begin this process with a sense of condemnation. God is calling you FROM bondage (to fear) TO freedom (in Christ).

If we are not careful, we can repent INTO the same bondage we were repenting OF. It sounds like this, “Great, a reminder that now I’m not spiritual ENOUGH. Just add that to the list.” Or “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I just can’t trust God ENOUGH.” We begin to try to apply God’s Gospel in the same system as our previous slavery.

Start your journey from fear with the truth that you are being delivered by a patient God who loves you. God loves you by grace. Grace means that “enough” is no longer a relevant category to apply to the thing that matters most in life. That is the beginning of freedom from fear.

“Enough” is a slave word. “Grace” is a free word. If I am motivated by “enough” then even my productive and worthwhile accomplishment will eventually become bondage. That is because “enough” always implies “a little better than before.” If I am motivated by “grace” then my successes are celebrations of God’s goodness and my failures are points to remember that I am a loved child still in the process of being made into the image of my Father – a Father who enjoys the process of grooming the character of His children over a life time (Heb. 10:14). This is why grace gives us BOTH comfort and motivation.

Who Am I In Christ? Sample from Upcoming Summit Counseling Training

by brad on May 2, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

In the midst of life struggles, our identity can be rooted in our sin, our suffering, or our Savior.  When things are good (or when we live in denial) our identity can be attached to our achievements, relationships, appearance, job, or many other things. But when things are hard we tend to identify our selves by what we’ve done wrong, the wrongs that have been done against us, or the God who forgives and loves us.

When we root our identity in our sin we beat ourselves up for being stupid, lazy, selfish, and lacking self-control. We begin to make “I am” statements that end with our sin: addict, angry, perverse, etc…

In this case we downplay the significance of Christ’s death to forgive our sin. This results in us playing God by trying to “forgive ourselves.” Our identity has already established that our sin is more dominant than Christ’s blood, so it only makes sense (although we would never say it out loud) that our forgiveness would be required “in addition to” God’s.

When we root our identity in our suffering we define ourselves by the bad things that have happened to us. We begin to make “I am” statements that end with our suffering: divorced, depressed, abused, etc…

In this case we downplay the degree to which we are loved by God. We believe our history has made us unlovable. The result is that we begin to play God by trying to “love ourselves” more to compensate for what our identity has declared unattainable from God.

In both cases, something becomes more central to “who we are” than being God’s children. Then, because God has been rooted out of his rightful place in our identity, we begin to try to do for ourselves what only God can healthily and satisfyingly do.

This is so common, that many readers are probably surprised that “forgiving myself” and “loving myself more” would be mentioned with a negative connotation. But the truth is they are attempts to live without God or declarations that what God has done is inadequate for our struggles.

The only solution to a sin-based identity or a suffering-based identity is to truly understand who we are in Christ. Everything else results in some form of God-playing self-reliance.

At the upcoming Summit counseling training a full hour will be devoted to the subject “How to Avoid a Struggle-Based Identity.” People ask for help because a struggle has begun to dominate their life. Too often life can be measured exclusively by how present my struggle is. The problem is that when I measure a “good day” by the absence of my struggle (sin or suffering), my struggle will remain the focal point of my life. I become trapped in recovery.

The only remedy is to center your life on something other than self, sin, or suffering. In explaining how to do this, our counseling training will explore what it means to have our identity rooted in Christ. This document (WHO I AM IN CHRIST_KELLEMEN) adapted from Bob Kellemen’s work will be a part of that training.

If you are interested in attending this counseling training, please RSVP (link). You can see the announcement post (link) for more information about dates, times, and content.

Gospel-Rooted Change – Ephesians 4:17-32

by brad on October 11, 2010 in Application Supplement with Comments Off

A Model of Change

(BCH_Eph4B_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

In Ephesians 4:20-24 Paul gives a model of change, rooted in the Gospel, that he illustrates in five examples in verses 25-32. Use the chart below, not only to help you follow the logic of the passage, but also to serve as a way to think about your own battles with sin. Each of the letters (A is on lying; B is on anger, etc…) demonstrate how Paul counsels the Ephesians to overcome that particular sin.

Put Off Your Old Self (v. 22)

A. Falsehood (v. 25)
B. Sinful Anger (v. 26)
C. Stealing (v. 28)
D. Harsh Words (v. 29)
E. Acts & Emotions of Revenge (v. 31)

Be Renewed in the Spirit of Your Mind (v. 23)

A. Recognizing our unity in the church (v. 25)
B. Seeing the opportunity sinful anger gives Satan (v. 27)
C. Learn to value generosity more than prosperity (v. 28)
D. Tearing down others grieves God (v. 30)
E. Recognize the extent of forgiveness you have received (v. 32)

Put On the New Self (v. 24)

A. Speak the truth (v. 25)
B. Deal with differences quickly (v. 26)
C. Work for your goods (v. 28)
D. Speak to give grace (v. 29)
E. Act and relate out of forgiveness (v. 32)

From Lying to Truth-Telling (4:25)

Too often we seek to cure sin by appealing to the same selfishness that made sin tempting. Our children lie, so we tell them, “You will never truly get what you wanted by lying.” While this is true, it leaves the child rooted in the same self-centeredness that made lying seem like a good idea in the first place.

Paul makes a different appeal when he says, “Do not lie because you are members one of another (i.e., church, family, class, humanity).” Paul reveals that the true poison of deceit is not merely its falseness, but the belief that (nay, more the delight in) I can win by someone else losing. W

hen I am willing to sacrifice you for me, then I have broken the command to love my neighbor as myself.

Illustration: In football, a wide receiver does not lie to his quarterback about the route he is going to run. Why? They are members of the same team. One cannot succeed without the other succeeding. They both understand this; therefore, they trust one another. It is this core belief about life that protects our hearts from lying without appealing to our carnal nature to restrain our flesh.

Correcting Our Speech (4:29)

What is the measure of good communication?  How do we know if we have been “successful” in a given dialogue? How we answer that question will greatly influence how we read our Bible, evaluate our marriages, and discipline our children. If success is to effectively get across whatever I feel, think, or believe, then the purpose of the Bible and others is to validate what I feel, think, or believe.

However, Paul gives us a different definition of success in communication. Paul says good communication gives grace to those who hear as fits the occasion. Grace builds up another person in Christ by affirming truth, confronting sin, or comforting suffering. That is the content of good communication. The tone is “as fits the occasion” and this requires the skill of speaking in age or situation appropriate ways.

Application: Paul further unpacks this principle in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” Here we see Paul identifying three different tones of presenting the content of grace based upon the heart attitude of the recipient. Identify a conversation that you had this week that fits each of these tones and consider how your words could have communicated more of the content of grace.

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Real Power – Ephesians 3:14-21

by brad on September 27, 2010 in Application Supplement with 1 Comment

Grant You to be Strengthened (3:16)

We tend to think of strength as something that is worked for. Athletes go to the gym and work out to get stronger. Even if they cheat and use steroids or human growth hormone, they must still work out to gain the benefits of the performance enhancing drugs. Yet this passage speaks of strength as a gift that is given to us by God.

In the midst of temptation we often wonder if we have the power (in ourselves) to resist. Even in our temptation we are often too proud to be God’s beggars (as if we were ever anything more). Yet because of how we phrase the question (self-centeredly) we are given to the doubt and fear which strengthens our temptation.

Application: Hopefully we can see that timeless truth “in our weakness then we are strong” more clearly in light of this reflection. The question of temptation is not one of ability or strength, but of dependence and trust. Make a list of the temptations you regularly face. Beside each one list the setting(s) in which you frequently face that temptation. Describe how your self-assessment leads to fear and doubt. Write a brief narrative of what it would look like to face that moment in God’s strength.

Strength to Comprehend (3:18)

Have you ever studied something until your head hurt? That might be what Paul is saying here. If we are going to fathom the breadth, length, height, and depth of God’s love it will require the strength of God to prevent that understanding from breaking us. When we set the darkness of our sin against the brightness of God’s love the contrast should bring us to our knees like Paul on the road to Damascus.

If we miss this, we likely approach our study of Scripture too casually; like children playing near a high voltage generator. Imagine being an orphaned child who lived well into adulthood without any knowledge of his parents. Then finally by some means he is given a letter from his birth parents. As he read the letter, he would likely have to sit down. The weight of knowing this was the only first-person knowledge he would ever have from his parents would be physically moving. When we read it correctly, that is the Bible.

Reflection: How often, before you study the Bible, do you pray that God will grant you the strength to comprehend His Word? I think this kind of prayer prepares us for the miracle of divine revelation that we are preparing to read. One of the great challenges to rightly interpreting the Bible is coming to it with a right understanding of what it is. Because we live in a day of endless books, a leather bound one does not seem that special. Let us pray that God would give us “eyes to see” the Bible as divine revelation, before we open it to read.

More Than We Ask or Imagine

(BCH_Eph3B_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

What is the point of trying to imagine something you cannot imagine? That is the invitation of Ephesians 3:20. We are constantly faced with the temptation to make God in our own image. This is partly because we are limited to the capabilities of our finite mind.

I believe one good application of this verse is to expand the breadth of our imaginations. By so doing we increase our capacity for God. The goal of the passage is not to challenge us to ask more and more of God so that we can be awed, but to have a greater and greater capacity for God so that our service in the advancement of His church is never delayed by our lack of faith.

With this being said, let me suggest two types of reading to help you grow the breadth of your imagination: Christian fiction and Christian biography.

As you read one of these works, do not just seek to glean new information or to be entertained by a good story, ask God to expand the capacity of your imagination so that vision for what is possible for His kingdom will also grow.

Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“

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Mystery, Confidence, Suffering, & Glory – Ephesians 3:1-13

by brad on September 20, 2010 in Application Supplement with Comments Off

Stewardship of God’s Grace (3:2)

Usually when we talk about stewardship in the church it either means we are talking about money (because we are behind budget) or time (because we need nursery workers). Before you click off this blog, in this case we are talking about neither. We are talking about God’s grace, the Gospel. We are not merely partakers of God’s grace and we are not owners of it. We are stewards – it has been entrusted to us by the Owner that we would carry out His will with it.

One key component of being a good steward is to frequently examine your use of the object. If you leave someone to steward (watch out and care for as you would) your child, pet, or home, you would expect that they regularly had their eyes on it and thought about it frequently. Paul obviously did this with the Gospel. He was overcome by what he had been given to take to the world and could not get his mind off of it.

Application: Get an object that reminds you of the Gospel and keep it in your pocket (something like a small cross or a wooden “G”). As you load your pockets in the morning, as you reach for your keys or change throughout the day, and as you unload your pockets at night, ask yourself, “How did I do at being a steward of God’s grace?” Reflect on the day for opportunities you may have missed and what you could have said or done to be a better steward. This makes for great conversation at the family dinner table.

Confidence Through Our Faith in Christ

(BCH_Eph3A_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

It is almost hard to think of confidence without the prefix “self” attached to it. But Scripture speaks much more of faith-confidence than self-confidence. We find that again in Ephesians 3:12, “with confidence through our faith in him [Christ].”

Ironically, we only need faith when we have come to the end of our “self.” Until we come to the end of our self we only need determination, education, training, or opportunity.  Once we come to the end of our self, we need faith; it is the only hope we have left.

Consider the following questions to help you assess whether your confidence (which is a good attribute for a Christian to cultivate) is in self or Christ by faith.

  • When you are fearful or anxious do you first plan harder or pray?
  • Are you able to face a challenge with a restful heart?
  • Do you see God as the source of your talents and abilities?
  • Do you see God as the source of your opportunities and good breaks?
  • When you give advice do you m

    ention relying on God?

  • Do you succumb to self-abasement after a failure?
  • Do you succumb to self-pity after a bad break?
  • Is your prayer life marked by gratitude?
  • Do you succumb to a fear of failure to avoid embarrassment?
  • Are you willing to confess your sins to God and others?
  • Are you able to attempt great things for God while maintaining humility?

Faith-confidence is a work in progress for every one of us. The goal is to consistently have an honest self-assessment of where we are between pride/self-love and shame/self-hatred. As long as “self” is our primary pre-fix, our life is not God-dependent.

Do Not Lose Heart in Suffering (3:13)

It is comforting to notice how many times Scripture connects suffering with the temptation to lose heart. God know us. If Scripture only spoke of how suffering is turned to good or how it shapes our character, I would be discouraged. Not because I disagree with either of those statements. But because, I would think the Bible had someone much stronger than me in mind for its audience.

But what are we to make of Paul saying his suffering was the Ephesians glory? When we suffer for someone we are demonstrating that we love them. Jesus suffering on our behalf on the cross demonstrates His love for us. True love (here not used in the romantic sense, but love that is in keeping with God’s character) changes things for the better. Paul is saying, “If you see Christ in what I am doing on your behalf, rejoice in it. God will use my actions and example to transform (sanctify) you more like him.” For a similar statement see Ephesians 5:26.

Reflection: Suffering often seems very meaningless and makes us feel quite alone. Suffering tends to reduce our world to the size of our pain or oppression.  It is good for us to ask, who can I love or serve in the midst of my suffering? Who can I be an example for? What lessons am I learning that could be passed on to another who will suffer after me? As we see in Ephesians 3:13, not only was Paul’s suffering the glory of the Ephesians Christians, but the growth of the maturation of the Ephesians Christians was the meaning and fuel to persevere for Paul in his suffering.

Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“

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A Great Salvation! – Ephesians 2:1-10

by brad on September 6, 2010 in Application Supplement with Comments Off

Dead, Following, Alive, Walking (2:1-10)

This passage is surreal. Dead people are following things – the course of this world, the prince of the power of the air, and the passions of their flesh. We begin to see that death is a way of life more than an ultimate end. Those who are caught in a life-dominating sin will quickly attest to the fact that death can be an experience with a heart that beats and breath in your lungs. The fact that both Heaven and Hell are eternal means that death is not “the finale” we think it is. Death is merely a way of life made permanent.

The contrast to dead people following things is enlivened people walking.  Following is a mindless act; the smallest children play Follow-the-Leader. In this contrast, walking implies engagement and voluntary commitment. Contrary to the perspective of those “dead in their trespasses and sins” the greater freedom is experienced by those who have had God invade their living death.

Reflection: After conversion there is a temptation to believe that the “good life” is the life of sin, without God’s restrictions. We reveal this tendency when we longingly ask “How far is too far?” regarding our particular sin of choice. In what areas of life are you tempted to view death as life and life as death?

By Grace (2:5, 8)

It is so hard to wrap my mind around what it means for grace to be the “method” of salvation. This is particularly true when, as a counselor, people come to me for “practical” (meaning “how to”) answers. To do/get something by grace is the epitome of an oxy-moron for the practical minded. It is so simple it’s profound.

Yet this does become practical (irony intended). We are called to forgive as we have been forgiven (Eph 4:32). Those who offend us can do as little to “earn” our forgiveness as we did to earn God’s. Forgiveness is always of grace and it is always a choice of the offended party. As we follow the development of Ephesians, we see that we can only obey 4:32 when we accurately see ourselves in light of 2:1-10.

Application: What is the significance that a discussion of salvation is immediately followed by a d

iscussion of good works for our discussion of interpersonal forgiveness? Two principles emerge. First, true repentance always results in corresponding fruits of tangible change. But this fruit does not grow pre-forgiveness. Second, forgiveness (salvation) is only the start of the process of restoration (sanctification). Too often we treat forgiveness (the release of bitterness) as a synonym for restoration (relationships restored to their original condition). This leads to many hurts, poor choices, and other problems.

Created for “Good” Works

(BCH_Eph2A_handout for Printable PDF Handout)

Have you ever noticed how content the Bible is with the word “good”? Genesis 1 is filled with “good.” God does not seem to be competing with anyone, so words like better and best are unnecessary. In Ephesians 2:9-10 Paul uses the contented word “good” to describe our calling and links it with our other call not to boast.

That should be liberating. Often we get distracted by a fear of failure because wrapped up in the comparative language of being “great.” That is the kind of language that led the disciples to start bickering (Luke 22:24). It is the language of fear and division. It is the language that believes God loves for us to grow as our performance improves.

Use the following questions to help you assess whether you are fulfilling your calling with grace-based contentment or performance-based works righteousness.

  • Am I intimidated by or jealous of the gifts and abilities of other Christians?
  • Do I evaluate my work by comparing it with other’s work?
  • Do I avoid doing or saying things in front of others?
  • Do I get embarrassed when people comment on my work?
  • Do I apologize for mistakes that are not moral wrongs?
  • Do I think I am a good Christian because I have impressive gifts?
  • Do I assume Christians “on stage” have it all together?
  • Do I do extra good works to avoid feeling guilty?

Allow these questions to push you towards contentment in God’s grace and motivate you to fulfill God’s calling with joy rather than fear.

Introduction to the “Living Our Faith” series.
TOOL: “Using Prayer Time to Cultivate Ministry”
BLOG POST: “Teachers Equipping Ministers Through Prayer Time“

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