All posts tagged Fear

C.S. Lewis on Looking

by brad on May 6, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with 6 Comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in (p. 227).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

lewisOne of the most common maladies of human perception can be summarized in the sentence, “We tend to see first what we fear most.” Think about it.

  •     If you fear rejection, what will you hear in most conversations?
  •     If you fear failure, what will you see the strong possibility of in most situations?
  •     If you fear insignificance, how will you see most of your accomplishments?

This is not a call to positive thinking. Pride can be just as distorting as insecurity and often carries much greater consequences. The traces of humility found in insecurity often allow it to be a less destructive distortion.

Instead, this is a call to self-awareness. What are you looking for and how does it affect what you see and what you feel? The influence is inevitable. Either we will become aware of blindness and ask God for eyes to see or we will remain blind to our blindness.

Those who look to or in themselves for hope will realize there is not “enough.” They may then despise themselves (hatred), isolate (loneliness), give up (despair), get angry (rage), make self-destructive choices (ruin), or merely do the best they can (decay). Regardless where they look determines what they see and what they do.

Those who look to Christ for hope will find that there is “more than enough.” Actually these individuals will see the same life challenges that those in the previous paragraph experience. Looking to Christ does not change our circumstances; in the sense of removing obstacles.

However, they will see these challenges not as threats or insults which must be faced alone, but as the next chapters of their growing relationship with Christ. Pain will still hurt. Disappointment will still sting. Loss will still generate grief.

But in each of these moments, those who look to Christ will be freed from looking within themselves for answers to questions that are bigger than they are (a recipe for inevitable failure). They will be able to turn to the Ancient of Days (Daniel 7:9-22) for perspective and comfort.

Like a child who looks to his/her parent when something unsettling happens; seeking to draw comfort from their experience or demeanor, we can look to God who is not caught off guard and is not threatened to gain comfort and perspective.

When we can face the hard seasons of our life with this confidence, then it allows us to savor the good seasons of our life without fear. We do not have to wait for “the other shoe to drop” or scheme how to freeze this moment in time. We can life like children who trust their parents to care for them. This is what it means to get “everything else thrown in.”

C.S. Lewis on Dying Christianity

by brad on March 18, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Again and again it [the world] has thought Christianity was dying, dying by persecutions from without and corruptions from within, by the rise of Mohammedanism, the rise of the physical sciences, the rise of great anti-Christianity revolutionary movements. But every time the world has been disappointed. Its first disappointment was over the crucifixion. The Man came to life again (p. 222).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

lewisDo your hopes for Christianity rise and fall with major events? A celebrity or “big name” athlete professes faith in Christ publicly and we think, “That’s a big boost for our side.” A scandal breaks in the news about popular church leaders and we think, “Who will want to come to church now?”

I don’t want to condemn that rise and fall; partly because I ride that roller coaster, but also because that is the nature of being fully engaged with something. If you are really committed to someone or something, then its gain and losses will affect you.

Admittedly, I feel a bit of a double bind. I don’t want to be unmoved by the good or bad fortune of God’s kingdom, even if it’s only temporal. I want to be moved to praise or pray as needed in every circumstance. But I don’t want to be so moved that my sense of hope ebbs and flows with daily events.

How do we have one without the other? The short answer is (in my opinion) we don’t, at least not perfectly. I’m not going to care as much as I want to care about the things of God and be as dispassionately objective as I want to be in the midst of (at least perceived) challenges to His kingdom.

The better question (again, in my opinion) is how concerned should I be that I won’t strike this perfect balance? The answer to that question would be “it depends” on whether in bad times my instincts move towards prayer or despair and whether in good times my instincts move towards pride/complacency or praise/proclamation.

Sometimes we think God’s sovereignty should make us stoics (emotionally unmoved by the significant events of life); that holiness was the muting of emotion. Other times we think that we can only honor God with the emotions at the pleasant end of the emotional spectrum; that unpleasant emotions (i.e., grief, fear, sadness, etc…) are inherently impure.

These kinds of beliefs make it very hard for us to do anything practical with the kind of truth contained in Lewis’ quote. It is only when we acknowledge that God made us emotional creatures who can honor Him on both ends of the emotional spectrum that we can respond to the kind of dark events that Lewis references in personally-authentic, faith-filled ways.

It is only then that we can pray with the Psalmist, “When I am afraid [honestly acknowledging bad times and having the appropriate emotional response], I put my trust in you [expressing a faith that can be measured a “great” because it is bigger than a real fear].”

So when I watch the Kentucky Wildcats or St. Louis Cardinals, my hope and fears rise and fall with the uncertainty temporal concerns entail. When I observe with the advances and setbacks of God’s kingdom, my hopes and fears still rise and fall (because I am passionately engaged), but with the trust that God’s power and track record deserve.

Learning to Doubt Our Fears

by brad on October 5, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

What is the one thing you don’t doubt when you are afraid? Think about it. When we are afraid we will doubt just about everything except our fear. We will doubt things we know to be true (i.e., whether we locked our door or paid a bill, the faithfulness of our spouse, your preparedness for an exam, God’s care, etc…) rather than to doubt our fears.

Our fears are close. When we are afraid nothing feels closer than our fears. This means that whatever information we receive gets filtered through our fears. Whatever truth we hear feels like it is “out there” while our fears are “in here.” This adds to our unwillingness to doubt our fears.

Besides it only feels like a risk if we doubt our fears. Believing our fears feels like we are “playing it safe.” If we doubt our fears it feels like we’d never forgive ourselves for knowing better and not bracing against being hurt or let down. When we’re afraid the world gets twisted; fear becomes wise and peace becomes folly.

Our fears are like the bad friend we hope our children don’t have in middle school. Everything the parent says to point out the bad influence only increases the child’s allegiance. Because we believe our fear is keeping us safe every counterpoint we hear (even when we’re arguing with ourselves) sounds “unfriendly.” We buy the lie that our fears are “for” us and courage is “against us.

What is the point? We must see that fear is a form of trust. We trust our pessimistic predictions of the future. We trust our worse-case-scenario imagination. We trust whatever comes after “what if…” Fear is a fierce allegiance (i.e., trust) to negative messages.

Often in our battle with fear/trust, we try learn to feel peace without doubting our fears. Doubting our fears is an important step that prevents trusting God from feeling like “blind faith.” Ask yourself this question, “What would be different if I truly believed that my fears lied more than they told the truth? What if I was as skeptical of my fears as I was of an infomercial?”

Obeying the command to take “every thought captive” begins with our ability to doubt our fears. Taking your thoughts captive begins with changing the primary question from “What if my fears are true?” to “What if my fears are false?” This is an important bridge to honestly considering, “What if God’s promises were true and care secure?”

Obeying the command to “fear not,” the most repeated command in Scripture (occurring over 300 times in the Bible), begins with the willingness to doubt our fears. When you doubt fear, fear becomes less real so that other things can become more real.

How do I learn to doubt my fear? Now that you’re open to and understand the significance of the question, ask yourself, “How reliable is my fear?” What percentage of the time is your fear accurate? How many of your fear’s predictions come true? Would you trust any other person or emotion with that track record?

Does this mean that I should never listen to my fear? No. Fear is a gift from God meant to alert us to what is really important and dangerous. Simply begin by being appropriately skeptical of your fear; resist the urge to treat your fears as if they were the divinely inspired, inerrant Word of God to interpret your circumstances. Allow them to be the mere temporal assessment of an individual wired for self-preservation.

What do I do after I doubt my fears? What do you do after you get troubling information from any other liar or unreliable source? Talk to someone trustworthy (God in prayer and trusted Christian friends in conversation) about the matter and consult something authoritative (Scripture). As you do this, give weight to the reliable, authoritative sources.

In light of this reflection consider Proverbs 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Realize that fear is a form of fierce, instinctual trust that feels closer and more reliable than anything else. When you fear the Lord, that allegiance creates a natural doubt in anything or anyone that would speak negatively about your best, most-trusted Friend/Father (Exod. 33:11, I John 3:1-3).

Can We Reason Ourselves Into Assurance of Salvation?

by brad on June 8, 2012 in Application Supplement with No comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Hebrews 6:1-12 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday June 9-10, 2012.

Hebrews 6 is a passage that is notorious for causing people to doubt their salvation. In large part, this is the purpose of the passage – to cause those with false assurance to question whether they have been genuinely converted. But for many people this question cannot be set aside and it plagues them relentlessly.

The general pastoral counsel (which I believe is valid) is to say, “If you fear having fallen away from the faith it is a good sign that you have not. A conscience that is tender enough towards God to fear His absence, especially to a highly troubling degree, is one that longs for God’s presence. That conscience has not been seared (I Tim. 4:2) to despise or be numb to God.”

But that raises another question, “Is logic or reason the best way to appeal to someone who has a chronic fear of having lost their salvation?” By “chronic fear” I mean those who cannot put away their fear of God’s wrath with repentance and then begin to compulsively organize their life around obsessive thoughts of having committed the unpardonable sin, blaspheming the Holy Spirit, or otherwise hopelessly re-earning damnation after having accepted God’s gift of salvation.

I believe the answer to this question is “No.” When the struggle reaches an obsessive level (often becoming an expression of obsessive-compulsive disorder) it is more of an emotional struggle than a cognitive struggle. The central issue is one of trust more than a lack of or inaccurate information.

In the absence of trust, new information, even well-reasoned, practically-applied biblical information, only serves to feed the OCD machine. In the absence of trust there is always an exception and the exception is me. The discussion will become more complex as you answer the fearful person’s nuanced questions. This complexity only feeds their fear that there is a loophole in the gospel somewhere and they’re in it.

Michael Emlet (M.Div., M.D.) recently reviewed the book The Doubting Disease by Joseph Ciarrochi. In this review Emlet summarizes and evaluates the strengths and weaknesses of Ciarochi’s approach to dealing with doubt that has reached an OCD level. Emlet’s booklet on OCD is an excellent resource for more practical guidance.

But there are many who wrestle with this question without being OCD. The question remains, “How do we effectively appeal to them with the hope of the gospel in a way that is rooted in trust more than reason?” Admittedly, all conversation is rooted in reason to some degree or it would be unintelligible.

In short, we quit trying to present the system of salvation and the evidences of conversion. Rather we present to them a person. The central question is no longer, “What have you done (prayer), what do you understand (doctrine), or what are you doing (sin/fruit)?” but “Who is God?” Salvation is not about performing a ritual (i.e., a certain prayer, evidences particular good behaviors, etc…). Salvation is about trusting a person.

In secular therapies, a predominant methodology with OCD is “exposure therapy” – preparing the client to be able to relax himself in presence of the fearful stimulus without his compulsive ritual. According to Martin Luther all of life is “exposure therapy” to the fearful stimulus of sin with the freedom God gives in the gospel. Luther said, “All of life is repentance (in 95 Thesis).”

Luther was a man who was plagued by his conscience while serving as a monk and went through extensive “rituals” to try to resolve his doubts. But God delivered him when he embraced a simple truth, “The just shall live by faith.” Faith is another word for trust. Luther realized who God was and that God could be trusted. Luther realized he would be repenting for the rest of his life, but that God was faithful, patience, and gracious towards sinners because those attributes where “who God was” not merely “what God did.”

The altering of the question allows your focus to change the process from needing a biblical argument that is clearer than your fears are loud, to trusting a Father who would never turn away one of His children who is broken and repentant for their sin (I John 1:9). When we know God for who He is we are free to cast our every care upon Him (I Pet. 5:7), even the fear that He might grow weary of our fearful prayers and failures.

Booklet Preview – Vulnerability: Blessing in the Beatitudes

by brad on May 4, 2012 in Church Resource with No comments

I am excited to announce the near release of my second publication: Vulnerability: Blessing in the Beatitudes.

The Format:

This booklet is written in a highly devotional style. After an introduction that walks you into the subject of vulnerability (in wouldn’t make sense to jump in abruptly), each beatitude is examined in five ways.

  1. Description–attempts to define the disposition, role, or activity that Jesus says is “blessed.”
  2. Benefit for Vulnerability–helps you see the connection between that beatitude and a healthy sense or acceptance of vulnerability.
  3. Implementation—provides possible ways that you could begin the process of growing in this facet of vulnerability.
  4. Personal Reflection—offers questions to assist you in examining your life in light of the beatitude under examination.
  5. Prayer—gives a sample guided prayer to help you bring this area of growth before the Lord regularly. Remember, we never grow apart from the grace of God empowering us, and prayer is the initial and primary way we demonstrate our dependence upon and vulnerability towards God. These are sample prayers to be made on your own.

Consider these sections two and three from the “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst” section.

Benefit for Vulnerability: Vulnerability requires silencing the fear of being found out. Creating more elaborate disguises does not work. Even the greatest secret agents begin to doubt their disguises when they are in a den of thieves. Acknowledging our hunger (deficiency, weakness, or insecurity) allows us to live in the real world; as opposed to the fabricated world where we have to portray that we have it all together.

This is not the voyeuristic telling of all of our problems to everyone. Rather it is placing all of our inadequacies, hurts, and sins in the hands of God to allow them to be used at His discretion for the advancement of His kingdom by encouraging, instructing, or identifying with His other hurting people. This hunger (acknowledging dependence) is a hunger for righteousness because it longs for God to redeem every aspect of our life (even the unappealing) for His glory.

Implementation: Reflect on the parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14-30). What are the one-talent equivalents of your life; those things you want to bury and hide for fear of God’s or other people’s scorn? Make a list of events, physical attributes, abilities, or embarrassments. Before doing anything else, bring those to God in prayer and make them “available” for whenever or however He might use them for His glory.

Then pray that God would reveal to you an opportunity to use an item on your list to encourage, instruct, or identify with someone else. Study for a biblical perspective on each item on your list so that when the moment comes, your attitude, words, and actions will reflect God’s heart. Pray that when the moment comes God will give you both the courage to speak and the heart to rejoice for the opportunity. Pray that God will eventually give you the ability to rejoice and give thanks for those aspects of your life you currently do not want to acknowledge (2 Cor. 12:7-10).

The booklet allows you to patiently examine eight qualities that Jesus called “blessed” that are parts of vulnerability. With each beatitude you learn not only what to do, but how and learn to see yourself accurately and talk to God honestly about what you’re learning. In the end that vulnerability is not one, large, monolithic thing, but a collection of qualities (like the fruit of the Spirit) in which you will have strengths and weaknesses which can be overcome by God’s grace.

Ordering Information:

You can purchase a pre-order copy now on Amazon.

You can preview four sample pages through P&R.

You can also review other booklets in The Gospel for Real Life series.

God’s Words for “Bouncy” Anxiety

by brad on April 25, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

Jill would begin by worrying about finances. Things were tight and the economy was down. Being a Christian and knowing she should trust God (Matt 6:25-34) caused her fear to be replaced by guilt. Guilt did a good, short-term job of replacing fear, but it made her feel far from God.

The distance from God left her weak to other fears. “What if the kids get made fun of at school because we don’t get them the cool shoes… What if something goes wrong with the car… What if my fear makes me less attractive to my husband… What if…?” These fears created a new onslaught of guilt for not trusting God. Much of her life was a tennis match between anxiety and guilt over anxiety. It took one to interrupt the other.

She never realized how much God could relate to her experience. She thought that because God had nothing to fear that He was aloof to her struggle. One day a friend walked her through Psalm 121.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come (v. 1)?”

The psalm begins with David in battle. When the war is intense he looks to the hills for reinforcements. He begins to doubt. Will help make it in time? Which hill will they come over? Do I just want to believe their coming? David’s fears begin to sound like Jill’s.

“My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth (v. 2).”

David reminds himself of the truth he needed to hear. His fear made him quick to forget that the very hills he scanned for help were craftsmanship of the God who was for him. Jill can rest in the fact that David also had to remind himself of these kinds of truths. More than this, Jill can rest in the fact that God inspired David to pen these words and include them in Scripture for His anxious children.

“He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber (v. 3).”

David anticipates the next round of fears that will assault him and his men. Will God keep his feet strong for the journey ahead? Will God take care of him when he is asleep near the battle field? David is not living poetry; he is living a battle. The poetry came later. David remembers these things because they were hard to cling to during the battle. Jill can relate to how remembering God’s faithfulness can easily devolve into focusing on the bad situation in which God must be faithful.

“Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep (v. 4).”

David again reminds himself of truth about God. David may sleep near his enemies, but God never sleeps on David’s enemies. David was being forced to live that “God’s strength was made perfect in his weakness (2 Cor. 12:9)” and he was easily distracted. Jill was amazed to see that she shared so much in common with “a man’s after God’s own heart” even in the moments she felt distant from God.

“The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night (v. 5-6).”

David anticipated another round of fears. What if we grow weak in the oppressive heat of the sun? How can we keep this up all day? Or, what will we do when night comes and we can no longer see our enemy? I know God doesn’t have limits, but I do. What happens then? Jill began to smile as she realized how much God could understand the way she thought. It was amazing to think that God have her shameless words like Psalm 121 to speak-sing back to Him in her moments of fear.

“The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (v. 7-8).”

David reminds himself of the far-reaching truths of God’s protection. They cover all of life; from when he leaves his door until he returns home and from this moment as far as time or his imagination can extend. God’s faithfulness is found not only in his power and sovereignty but also his loving understanding. Walking with God in His Word through her “bouncy” fears gave Jill great confidence that she could cast her cares on God because He really did care for her (I Pet. 5:7).

How to Respond to Things We Don’t Understand

by brad on March 9, 2012 in Application Supplement with 2 Comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon on Jesus and the Holy Spirit from Luke/Acts preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday March 10-11, 2012.

This sermon is an excellent case study in a vital life skill – responding to things we don’t understand and/or make us uncomfortable. It is hard to preach on the Holy Spirit in a way that will make everyone comfortable – strange since one of His titles is “the Comforter.”

Stranger still is the strong human tendency to listen poorly and react quickly when we don’t understand something. When we don’t understand our fears become the filter for what we hear and preemptively start trying to take the conversation back to where we’re comfortable before we know where it’s starting.

Think about your last several conflicts or times you felt misunderstood. What were your fears and how did they become the filter for what the other person was saying? How did you try harder to move the conversation to your comfort zone than understand what the other person was saying?

Think about the last several times you heard someone debate politics. Can you find those same themes of listening through a fear-filter and moving the conversation to home turf?

Now, think about having a conversation about the role of the Holy Spirit in the life of a Christian. Think about having that conversation with someone who may not agree with you. Think about worshipping in the same church or being in the same small group.

What are your fears? How do they shape the way that you see this person (who right now only exists in your imagination)? What caricatures have you already placed on them? What emotional responses or demeanors do you “know” they are going to have?

You have just articulated your fear filter.

What is your home turf? Do you seek to change the subject because you don’t know what you believe? What phrases start the conversation or get repeated most frequently in your mental dialogue? What passages of Scripture are defining and which ones get explained away? When do you realize you don’t care what the other person says?

You have just defined your home turf or comfort zone.

Are you still talking to a “friend” or have they become an opponent in your imagination?

What is my point? One of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to bring unity (Eph 4:3). Another role is to calm fear and give the love/self-control necessary to listen well (2 Tim 1:7). The place where we should most effectively learn this vital life skill is when we are studying the One who enables us to learn it.

My encouragement to you is to begin to learn to listen well to things that you don’t understand and make you uncomfortable. Use this sermon as an opportunity to learn this skill by the Spirit, in the Spirit, and about the Spirit.

After that demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit by blessing your family, friends, and co-workers with what God is doing in your life. Begin to be like the Holy Spirit as you listen to people well enough to translate their hearts to the Father in prayer (Rom 8:26).

As you do this, I believe you will find that your relationships and emotions begin to be marked by the kind of peace that Scripture repeatedly says is a mark of the presence and activity of the Holy Spirit (Acts 9:31, Rom 8:6, Gal 5:22).

Courage and Illogical Fear

by brad on June 27, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“The bad psychological material is not a sin but a disease. It does not need to be repented of, but to be cured. And by the way, this is very important. Human beings judge one another by their moral choices. When a neurotic who has a pathological horror of cats forces himself to pick up a cat for some good reason, it is quite possible that in God’s eyes he has shown more courage than a healthy man may have shown in winning the V.C. (p. 91).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Let’s forego the disease-model (addiction, depression, etc…) debate for a moment and focus on Lewis’ main point. God evaluates us on the basis of what we have to work with. This is the point of Luke 12:48,

“But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.”

With this in mind, it makes sense that God would be more pleased with the slight expression of other-minded compassion from someone with Autism than He would be with large compassion from someone who writes Hallmark cards for a living.

In the same way, we get really excited when a toddler takes three steps without falling, but are disappointed when an Olympian takes a half step when landing a triple-backflip-summersault with a half twist (I have no idea if that is even possible).

I think even those of us who are skeptical of the disease-model can get closer to what Lewis is saying. We believe that every person is born with a flesh nature and that these sinful natures are unique. We would also agree that each person is born is a unique personality, intelligence, set of social skills, and interests. These things can be developed with practice and shaped through life experience, but we all start with a unique “base package.”

Every person’s “base package” set them up for some life struggles. This is what it means to be a fallen person in a broken world. This distribution is not “fair” (if by fair we mean equal). Therefore, some people naturally struggle more than others.

It goes beyond the scope of this reflection to try to define what does and does not fit into the category of a biological disease. For those interested in exploring that subject further, I would recommend Ed Welch’s book Blame It On the Brain?

The ultimate goal of this reflection is to draw on Lewis’s call to look beyond (but not over) our choices. Looking over choices harms everyone. Even “a neurotic who has a pathological horror of cats” needs to be led towards truth. It would be unloving to be a silent people as others suffer with irrational fears or self-destructive behaviors even if they are biological.

Looking beyond choices would require considering who the person is who is making these choices. What are they working with (experientially, intellectually, dispositionally, physically)? Where are they in their spiritual, emotional, and relational maturity? I think if we heed Lewis’ instruction in this way, it will help us keep from getting ahead of God in one another’s life without condoning immoral or irrational behavior.

Fear By Another Name: “Enough”

by brad on June 17, 2011 in Application Supplement with No comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from Pastor J.D.’s sermon “Fear: Homewreckers #3” preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday June 18-19, 2011.

There are many people who deny that their life is marked by fear, but for whom fear is one of their primary motivators. The problem is not necessarily some form of denial or defensiveness. Instead, they don’t recognize their fear as fear because it registers in their thoughts and speech under a different term – enough.

Often this change of language is because the fear does not (at least yet) paralyze them, but merely motivates them (for better or worse). In this way, fear is very similar to stress. Certain levels of stress are healthy and cause us to “perform better” in life. We refer to this when we say, “Competition can bring the best out of people.” However, there comes a point where stress (or fear) is detrimental.

For those who do still view their unhealthy fear as a form of motivation they might refer to themselves as:

  • not being good enough (generally or at a specific activity)
  • not having enough money (for security or compared to others)
  • not having achieved enough (compared to a peer or for their age)
  • not being attractive enough (based upon size or some perceived defect)
  • not being social enough (funny, outgoing, compassionate, etc…)

These types of fears can go by other names than just motivations: insecurity, shyness, being driven, over-achieving, thinking ahead, being a planner, etc…

At this point, I would advise you to pause and consider two questions:

  1. What areas of life do you use the word “enough” to signal an area of fear?
  2. What (if not fear) do you call this struggle with fear?

You have now identified an area in your life where you have the opportunity to rely on God and live out of your identity in Christ in new ways. Don’t begin this process with a sense of condemnation. God is calling you FROM bondage (to fear) TO freedom (in Christ).

If we are not careful, we can repent INTO the same bondage we were repenting OF. It sounds like this, “Great, a reminder that now I’m not spiritual ENOUGH. Just add that to the list.” Or “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I just can’t trust God ENOUGH.” We begin to try to apply God’s Gospel in the same system as our previous slavery.

Start your journey from fear with the truth that you are being delivered by a patient God who loves you. God loves you by grace. Grace means that “enough” is no longer a relevant category to apply to the thing that matters most in life. That is the beginning of freedom from fear.

“Enough” is a slave word. “Grace” is a free word. If I am motivated by “enough” then even my productive and worthwhile accomplishment will eventually become bondage. That is because “enough” always implies “a little better than before.” If I am motivated by “grace” then my successes are celebrations of God’s goodness and my failures are points to remember that I am a loved child still in the process of being made into the image of my Father – a Father who enjoys the process of grooming the character of His children over a life time (Heb. 10:14). This is why grace gives us BOTH comfort and motivation.

God’s Words for Being Lied Against: Psalm 4

by brad on February 21, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

Case Study: If there was a word that Amy hated it was “politics.” She wasn’t good at it and didn’t want to be. Falsely she hoped that by never running for public office, she would be able to avoid it. But unfortunately politics is not the exclusive domain of professionals.

Two other women in her office knew what was “best” for the business. They were not the owners, or even the manager, but these women “had the boss’s ear.” Amy didn’t even realize she was setting off an office bomb when she offered to take on a new responsibility in order to gain some extra pay. But later she learned the significance of “by-passing” the “powers that be.”

Her two co-workers, who were peers by position title, were offended that Amy would try to show them up and cheat them out of money. Amy thought everyone knew her husband was a construction worker and that they were facing hard times during the down economy. Their husbands had stable salaried jobs.

The spin was ferocious. Soon Amy was a silent, distant, money-grabbing, power-player who wasn’t interested in the team atmosphere of the office. It was as if the other two women were professional character developers for a sitcom writer. Amy soon had a type-cast role that reinterpreted her every response. Whenever Amy finally spoke up, the other women were indignant that Amy would accuse them of slander “after all Amy had done.” This only made matters worse.

Amy’s first response was fear and her second response was hurt. She woke up at night thinking about losing her job. Then she thought about how miserable it would be to stay at her job now. Her 13 years at the office seemed like they had been thrown away in one innocent request for extra work for extra pay to supplement her family income. For weeks she cried frequently while eating, sleeping, or talking infrequently.

One day she started looking for words for her experience in the Bible (she didn’t know where else to look). She began in the Psalms and didn’t make it to the second page before she reached Psalm 4 and read her story written before she lived it. She returned to this Psalm often and even personalized it in her own words.

Pre-Questions: This case study is meant to challenge you to think biblically about the real struggles of life. These questions will not be answered completely in the sections below. But they do represent the kind of struggles that are being wrestled with in Psalm 4. Use the question to both stir application and to give you new insight into the psalm.

  • What is the hardest part of being blind-sided by consequences that don’t naturally flow from your actions?
  • How does a lie create an “alternative narrative” for your life that reinterprets your every action?
  • How should Amy find the strength and courage to persevere in her difficult work environment?
  • How should Amy respond to the fear and hurt she feels?

Read Psalm 4 in your preferred Bible translation. The “rewrite” of Psalm 4 below is an attempt to capture the words that God would give Amy to pray (Romans 8:26-27). This would be something Amy would need to pray many times as she struggled with insecurity.

A re-write of Psalm 4

1. Lord, I need you now. Please here me when I pray. I was trying to follow You even when this mess got started. You are bigger than this crisis and You offer more peace than a paycheck but I sometimes don’t see that. Be patient with me as I pray through this same thing many times.

2. How long will these two women spin my attempt to work hard as if it was an under-handed action? How long will they enjoy creating scenarios to reframe my words and seek for ways to substantiate their revisionist history?

3. Lord, I know You have saved me and set me apart for Yourself. That is why I can pray to You with confidence. I am Your child long before and long after I am their co-worker. You define me. I am not sure they even know me.

4. Lord, Cause them to be angry for the right reason (at deceit or laziness, not willingness to work hard). If they were angry at the right things they wouldn’t sin like this. Cause them to ponder integrity night and day and with each waking thought.

5. Show them their actions are not right. Show them the type of work and relationships You bless. Cause them to put their trust in You rather than their “pull” within the office.

6. Lord, I am sure they would say, “We think we are doing the right thing. Show us where we are wrong. If God can be against what we are for, we must not know God.” I can’t break through that kind of thinking. Lord, only You can. I give them to You.

7. Lord, I have more joy in You than they do in all their power and clout. I don’t want what they have and they can’t take what You give. When I remember this, I can avoid being drawn into a competition I don’t want to win.

8. This gives me a rest that I haven’t known in weeks. Lord, only You can allow a person to rest well in uncertain times. Keep this perspective impressed in my thoughts as I sleep, when I wake, as I go to work, and when I return home. Safety is neither a place or a dollar amount; it is being with You. Thank You for being ever-present.

Passages for Further Study: Psalm 55:19-23; Proverbs 26:4-5, 23-28; Jeremiah 9:7-9; Matthew 5:2-12; Mark 7:14-23

Post Questions: Now that you have read Psalm 4, examined how Amy might rewrite it for her situation, and studied several other passages, consider the following questions:

  • In what ways does the action of being lied about tempt Amy to take her focus off of God? How does this affect the things she thinks about and what she feels?
  • How does the “effectiveness” of lying shape the way we define “success” in life?
  • How would your answers to the “pre-questions” have changed as a result of reflecting on Psalm 4?
  • For what instances of being lied about or relational betrayal do you need to re-write your own version of Psalm 4?
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