All posts tagged Anxiety

C.S. Lewis on “A Gift to Who?”

by brad on February 18, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“You cannot expect God to look at Dick’s placid temper and friendly disposition exactly as we do. They result from natural causes which God Himself creates. Being merely temperamental, they will disappear if Dick’s digestion alters. The niceness, in fact, is God’s gift to Dick, not Dick’s gift to God (p. 211).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

lewisIt would be easy for an anxious person to think that God is more pleased with a calm person, because their life is bearing more of the fruit of peace. Similarly, it would be easy for an introvert to think that God is more pleased with an extrovert, because they fulfill more of the “one another” commands of the New Testament.

The same thought pattern could be used in evaluating God’s pleasure in our intelligence, attractiveness, various personality traits, and other factors that are significantly influenced by how God knit us together genetically in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139).

While this way of thinking is natural, Lewis is challenging us to consider whether it is accurate. He challenges us to realize that this is the equivalent of saying that God takes more pleasure in tall people for being tall than he does short people (assuming a culture where height is valued).

When we consider this question rationally (instead of through the bias of our own insecurity or pride) we realize it is silly. Being tall is not a virtue; it’s a blessing. God does not praise us for the blessing He gives us; we praise Him.

How is this helpful? It helps us have a more accurate picture of how we relate to God. We begin to realize every good thing in our life is a gift and that we are prone to label blessings as virtues.

When we realize that every good part of our life is a gift from God we are free to steward those gifts as evidences of God’s favor rather than living under the pressure to perform up to someone else’s gifting in order to earn God’s favor.

So what does that mean for Dick and his friend who (apparently) is more easily agitated? Dick should realize he cannot “coast” because of his naturally even keel demeanor. God will assess Dick’s faithfulness based upon what he does with what God gave him – “to whom much was given, of him much will be required (Luke 12:48).”

For Dick’s less patient friend, it means he is free from competing with Dick. God has no expectation that he “catch up” to his friend. He should strive to grow in patience at each opportunity when life presents an agitant.

But the main question this friend should ask is, “What strengths has God given me and how can I use them?” As this friend pursues his areas of God-given strength, two things are likely to happen.

First, he will likely become more patient as he follows God’s design instead of Dick’s standard.

Second, he will feel less resentment or insecurity around Dick (or other patient people) which will also aid his ability to handle moments when patience is required.

To see the first 100 posts in this series click here.

What Is “Emotional Maturity”?

by brad on January 25, 2013 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

What does it mean to be “emotionally mature”? To some it would mean being stoic – having mastery of your emotions so that you felt only what you wanted to when you wanted to feel it. To others it would be sentimentality – feeling all there is to be felt in any moment to its fullest extent.

Here I will propose another definition (but not “the” definition). Emotional maturity is (a) the ability to differentiate and properly identify one’s emotions while (b) granting yourself the freedom to experience whatever emotion is appropriate to a given situation.

That is difficult, because the physiological, cognitive, and neurological experiences of various emotions are not that different (see previous post). Differentiating emotions (as we will see) can be much more like parsing the 47 shades of green at the paint store than one would think.

Let’s take a very common case study – an individual in his/her early twenty’s engaged to be married and transitioning from student to adult life deciding upon a career while in a job better suited for student life. What emotions would be common in this experience? I’ll pick three: anxiety, dread, and insecurity.

  • Anxiety – How many areas can this person ask, “Am I making the right decision?”
  • Dread – How hard is it to be that excited about the future and content in the present?
  • Insecurity – Who wouldn’t be asking, “Am I ‘good enough’ for the marriage/roles I’m wanting?”

What do all three of these emotions have in common?

  • Neurologically, there is a high degree of overlap in the neurotransmitters involved.
  • Physiologically, the bodily reactions of these emotions are highly similar.
  • Cognitively, for all three thoughts race while predicted outcomes get larger and increasingly negative.

So what happens for the emotionally immature person (not meant as a derogatory description)? Usually they pick one emotion as their problem. That becomes the focal point of their thinking and three smaller emotional struggles become one large, insurmountable struggle.

If the person views them self as an “anxious person,” then all of their dread and insecurity are labeled anxiety. This does two things. First, it makes the strategies for dealing with anxiety (even biblical ones) two-thirds ineffective (assuming equal parts anxiety, dread, and insecurity). Second, it creates a gravity where every unpleasant emotional experience adds to the overwhelming sense of anxiety.

So what must an effective biblical counselor or one-another disciple-maker be able to do in a situation like this?

First, they need to be able to help their friend separate their emotional experiences. Often we are better at this with our theological categories than we are in our interpersonal and intrapersonal categories. As an example, a biblical counselor should be as attune to the various aspects of emotional experience as Mark Driscoll is to various aspects of the gospel in his book Death by Love (where he makes pastoral application of distinct features of the gospel like: redemption, gift righteousness, justification, propitiation, expiation, atonement, ransom, and reconciliation.

Second, (which too often is where I fear we begin) we need to be able to provide good-biblical-practical guidance to the individual’s struggle. In the case study above, unless dread and insecurity are separated from anxiety, then good counsel based on a sloppy assessment will produce limited results. However, once the individual sees him/herself accurately, then (if they are a Christian) their biblical existing instincts are likely to begin to implement their existing biblical wisdom as their sense of being overwhelmed dissipates.

Tuesday Tweets of the Week: 1.1.13

by brad on January 1, 2013 in Guest Materials with No comments

There is great value in saying something in a memorable, concise manner. Twitter has caused us to make this a near spiritual discipline. For my own growth (as a generally verbose individual… that’s a long way of saying “wordy”) and for the benefit of others, I highlight tweets each week that deliver a big message in a few words.

A movie preview tweet.

A timely passage of Scripture regarding the adoption blockage in Russia.

For those making New Year’s Resolutions.

And one because its funny (but you have to click the image link to get it).

 

My Top 12 Blog Posts of 2012

by brad on December 26, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

This posts takes a look back at my favorite posts from this year. These are the posts, that as I reviewed through my archives, I remembered most clearly. It may be the memory that inspired the post or the conversations that ensued afterwards, but either way these are the ones that stood out to me.

  1. The Myth of Compatibility — Too often we treat compatibility as if were a noun instead of a verb. Character is a better predictor of marital success than personality cohesion.
  2. When the Holy Spirit Prays for You — Too often we try to comfort people who are suffering with Romans 8:28 without taking on the journey of verses 25-27.
  3. The Sacred “Silly” Moments of Marriage — This is a call to pay attention to how “compliments” do more than just encourage your spouse.
  4. Feel Awkward Being Expressive in Worship? Me Too — Here I reflect on the self-preoccupation of being expressive in worship distracts me from the freedom God wants to give through worship.
  5. God’s Words for “Bouncy” Anxiety — This posts looks at how Psalm 121 is a gift from God for those whose fears bounce from one thing to the next.
  6. Prayer and Talking to My Children — This was a great time of remembering that God enjoys listening to His children as much as (probably more than) I enjoy listening to my children.
  7. You Don’t Know “The Real Me” — I was struck by how sin-kept-secret could so powerfully cut people off from meaningful relationships even from people who really loved them.
  8. On Counseling and Comedy — Find out if you agree with my assessment that young counselors and young comedians wrestle with the same tactical error.
  9. The Difference Between Guilt, Shame and Regret — These three powerful emotions/experiences are often used as synonyms, but when it comes to applying the gospel we need to know the difference.
  10. Poetry Slam on Same Sex Attraction and Childhood Sexual Abuse — My reflections on a powerful 9 minute testimony of God’s restorative power in poetry form.
  11. Learning to Doubt Our Fears — I was struck by the realization that when we are afraid the only thing we do not doubt is our fears.
  12. Three Family Posts (Yes, I admit I’m cheating).
    1. Special Trip III: Youngest Son Goes to Kindergarten — The story of the right of passage trip I took with my youngest son. Great memories!
    2. Why We Do “Chili Cheese Dog Adventures” — An innovative approach helping our boys adapt to a move that has turned into a family tradition.
    3. Three Letters I Write Every Year — A romantic exercise I realized was enriching my life as much as my wife’s.

Learning to Doubt Our Fears

by brad on October 5, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

What is the one thing you don’t doubt when you are afraid? Think about it. When we are afraid we will doubt just about everything except our fear. We will doubt things we know to be true (i.e., whether we locked our door or paid a bill, the faithfulness of our spouse, your preparedness for an exam, God’s care, etc…) rather than to doubt our fears.

Our fears are close. When we are afraid nothing feels closer than our fears. This means that whatever information we receive gets filtered through our fears. Whatever truth we hear feels like it is “out there” while our fears are “in here.” This adds to our unwillingness to doubt our fears.

Besides it only feels like a risk if we doubt our fears. Believing our fears feels like we are “playing it safe.” If we doubt our fears it feels like we’d never forgive ourselves for knowing better and not bracing against being hurt or let down. When we’re afraid the world gets twisted; fear becomes wise and peace becomes folly.

Our fears are like the bad friend we hope our children don’t have in middle school. Everything the parent says to point out the bad influence only increases the child’s allegiance. Because we believe our fear is keeping us safe every counterpoint we hear (even when we’re arguing with ourselves) sounds “unfriendly.” We buy the lie that our fears are “for” us and courage is “against us.

What is the point? We must see that fear is a form of trust. We trust our pessimistic predictions of the future. We trust our worse-case-scenario imagination. We trust whatever comes after “what if…” Fear is a fierce allegiance (i.e., trust) to negative messages.

Often in our battle with fear/trust, we try learn to feel peace without doubting our fears. Doubting our fears is an important step that prevents trusting God from feeling like “blind faith.” Ask yourself this question, “What would be different if I truly believed that my fears lied more than they told the truth? What if I was as skeptical of my fears as I was of an infomercial?”

Obeying the command to take “every thought captive” begins with our ability to doubt our fears. Taking your thoughts captive begins with changing the primary question from “What if my fears are true?” to “What if my fears are false?” This is an important bridge to honestly considering, “What if God’s promises were true and care secure?”

Obeying the command to “fear not,” the most repeated command in Scripture (occurring over 300 times in the Bible), begins with the willingness to doubt our fears. When you doubt fear, fear becomes less real so that other things can become more real.

How do I learn to doubt my fear? Now that you’re open to and understand the significance of the question, ask yourself, “How reliable is my fear?” What percentage of the time is your fear accurate? How many of your fear’s predictions come true? Would you trust any other person or emotion with that track record?

Does this mean that I should never listen to my fear? No. Fear is a gift from God meant to alert us to what is really important and dangerous. Simply begin by being appropriately skeptical of your fear; resist the urge to treat your fears as if they were the divinely inspired, inerrant Word of God to interpret your circumstances. Allow them to be the mere temporal assessment of an individual wired for self-preservation.

What do I do after I doubt my fears? What do you do after you get troubling information from any other liar or unreliable source? Talk to someone trustworthy (God in prayer and trusted Christian friends in conversation) about the matter and consult something authoritative (Scripture). As you do this, give weight to the reliable, authoritative sources.

In light of this reflection consider Proverbs 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Realize that fear is a form of fierce, instinctual trust that feels closer and more reliable than anything else. When you fear the Lord, that allegiance creates a natural doubt in anything or anyone that would speak negatively about your best, most-trusted Friend/Father (Exod. 33:11, I John 3:1-3).

C.S. Lewis on How God Knows the Future

by brad on July 23, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

A Counselor Reflects on Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

“Everyone who believes in God at all believes that He knows what you and I are going to do tomorrow. But if He knows I am going to do so-and-so, how can I be free to do otherwise? Well, here once again, the difficulty comes from thinking that God is progressing along the Time-line like us: the only difference being that He can see ahead and we cannot… But supposed God is outside and above the Time-line. In that case, what we call ‘tomorrow’ is visible to Him in just the same way as what we call ‘today.’ All the days are “Now’ for Him. He does not remember you doing things yesterday; He simply sees you doing them, because though you have lost yesterday, He has not. He does not ‘foresee’ you doing things tomorrow; He simply sees you doing them: because, though tomorrow is not yet there for you, it is for Him. You never supposed that your actions at this moment were any less free because God knows what you are doing… In a sense, He does not know your action till you have done it: but then the moment at which you have done it is already ‘Now’ for Him (p. 170).” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Lewis captures this truth in a conversation between Lucie and Aslan in Prince Caspian of The Chronicles of Narnia series. Aslan was about to leave and Lucie wanted to know when she would see him again. Aslan replied, “Soon.” Lucie wanted him to be more specific and asked when soon would be. Aslan replied, “I call all times soon.”

Personally, I find Lewis’ reference to the past particularly helpful. God does not remember the past (at least not in the sense that we “remember” things); He sees it (very similarly to how we experience the present), because God exists outside of time. This gives me a frame of reference for how differently God experiences time without arousing my fear of being controlled.

God is not a time traveler. He doesn’t need a “flux capacitor” in order to go “back to the future.” God exists outside of time. In that sense, God experiences time like we experience distance at a football game. The athletes on the field are immersed in the game and surprised when someone hits from their blind side. We, the fans, see the play unfold and wince before the hit happens.

This addresses God’s foreknowledge of our freedom (which is Lewis’s subject), not God’s sovereignty or predestination (which is a related but different subject; moves from awareness to influence). But when we realize that God does not experience our past like we do, then we can gain a sense for how God experiences our future differently than we do.

God is omnipresent geographically and chronologically. God is no more bound by time than He is by space. If you can conceive that God is simultaneously present with you and with a Christian on the other side of the globe, then the same principle should be applied to God being fully present in (aware of) your past and your future.

The biggest implication for this truth would be “what if” thinking. “What if” thinking presumes a level of uncertainty based upon the notion that no one has been where we’re going. It is like driving to a place you’ve never been before and being plagued by the question, “What if we missed the turn?” Having a passenger in the car who had taken this journey before changes the experience significantly. Now you can enjoy (peace) the ride (life) and conversation (prayer) as long as you drive responsibly (obedience) knowing that there is no doubt you will certainly reach the desired destination.

God’s Words for “Bouncy” Anxiety

by brad on April 25, 2012 in Counseling Reflection with No comments

Jill would begin by worrying about finances. Things were tight and the economy was down. Being a Christian and knowing she should trust God (Matt 6:25-34) caused her fear to be replaced by guilt. Guilt did a good, short-term job of replacing fear, but it made her feel far from God.

The distance from God left her weak to other fears. “What if the kids get made fun of at school because we don’t get them the cool shoes… What if something goes wrong with the car… What if my fear makes me less attractive to my husband… What if…?” These fears created a new onslaught of guilt for not trusting God. Much of her life was a tennis match between anxiety and guilt over anxiety. It took one to interrupt the other.

She never realized how much God could relate to her experience. She thought that because God had nothing to fear that He was aloof to her struggle. One day a friend walked her through Psalm 121.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come (v. 1)?”

The psalm begins with David in battle. When the war is intense he looks to the hills for reinforcements. He begins to doubt. Will help make it in time? Which hill will they come over? Do I just want to believe their coming? David’s fears begin to sound like Jill’s.

“My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth (v. 2).”

David reminds himself of the truth he needed to hear. His fear made him quick to forget that the very hills he scanned for help were craftsmanship of the God who was for him. Jill can rest in the fact that David also had to remind himself of these kinds of truths. More than this, Jill can rest in the fact that God inspired David to pen these words and include them in Scripture for His anxious children.

“He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber (v. 3).”

David anticipates the next round of fears that will assault him and his men. Will God keep his feet strong for the journey ahead? Will God take care of him when he is asleep near the battle field? David is not living poetry; he is living a battle. The poetry came later. David remembers these things because they were hard to cling to during the battle. Jill can relate to how remembering God’s faithfulness can easily devolve into focusing on the bad situation in which God must be faithful.

“Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep (v. 4).”

David again reminds himself of truth about God. David may sleep near his enemies, but God never sleeps on David’s enemies. David was being forced to live that “God’s strength was made perfect in his weakness (2 Cor. 12:9)” and he was easily distracted. Jill was amazed to see that she shared so much in common with “a man’s after God’s own heart” even in the moments she felt distant from God.

“The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night (v. 5-6).”

David anticipated another round of fears. What if we grow weak in the oppressive heat of the sun? How can we keep this up all day? Or, what will we do when night comes and we can no longer see our enemy? I know God doesn’t have limits, but I do. What happens then? Jill began to smile as she realized how much God could understand the way she thought. It was amazing to think that God have her shameless words like Psalm 121 to speak-sing back to Him in her moments of fear.

“The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (v. 7-8).”

David reminds himself of the far-reaching truths of God’s protection. They cover all of life; from when he leaves his door until he returns home and from this moment as far as time or his imagination can extend. God’s faithfulness is found not only in his power and sovereignty but also his loving understanding. Walking with God in His Word through her “bouncy” fears gave Jill great confidence that she could cast her cares on God because He really did care for her (I Pet. 5:7).

Peter Counseling Suffering-Based Anxiety vs. Paul Counseling Sin-Based Anxiety

by brad on December 16, 2011 in Application Supplement with 3 Comments

This post is meant to offer guidance to common “What now?” questions that could emerge from our campus pastors’ sermons on I Peter 5:6-11 preached at The Summit Church Saturday/Sunday December 17-18, 2011.

Peter is writing to Christians who have chosen to leave their homes and homeland over renouncing their faith. Living in another country as foreigners has resulted in many forms of suffering: persecution from authority figures (2:13-25), marriages in shambles (3:1-7), doubt about whether the sacrifice was worth it (3:8-22), and many temptations to sin as form of self-medicating / mentally escaping their suffering (4:1-5).

As Peter concludes his letter, he knows these dear friends must be afraid and multiplying their fear would be a creeping, growing doubt of God’s love (5:7). Whenever we face fear and doubt rooted in suffering, one of our most basic instincts is to turn to self-reliance. We think (sometimes not out loud), “Life isn’t playing by the rules. Bad things are happening to me for reasons I have not caused. God must have failed. I’m going to have to figure this out on my own.”

Peter sees this subtle, desperate pride that suffering causes to seem so “logical.” He has just encouraged these Christian to entrust themselves to God even when they suffer unjustly (4:12-19) and he knows what it will take fulfill this instruction – humility (5:6).

Notice how Peter speaks to the suffering-based anxiety of his readers (we should remember that both the message and tone of Scripture is divinely inspired). Peter calls them to humility with a promise of God’s blessing (“so at the proper time he may exalt you”), a timely application (“casting all your anxieties upon him”), and reminder of God’s love (“because he cares for you”).

Peter’s tone with suffering-based anxiety is different than Paul’s tone with sin-based anxiety (Phil. 4:1-9). In this context Paul is rebuking two ladies (Euodia and Syntyche) who are feuding. Based upon the flow of the passage their feud is causing a disgruntled fear and a persistent focus on what is wrong, bad, incomplete, unjust, or not according to their preference.

Paul is more direct (“do not be anxious”) and emphatic (“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice”). Yet even in confronting this sin-based anxiety, Paul still holds out the promises of God (“the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds”) and affirms God’s love (“the God of peace will be with you”).

We see in this that the solution for anxiety is the same – trust in the faithful promises of God accompanied by a belief that God truly cares for you – but that the tone of conversation that leads into these conversations changes based upon whether the anxiety emanates from a source of sin or suffering. For sin-based anxiety, the call is to repent and believe. For suffering-based anxiety the call is to trust and believe.

I think Paul would agree with this distinction and even wrote about this difference in tone in I Thessalonians 5:14, “And we urge you brothers, admonish the idle [disorderly or undisciplined], encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” Different heart-dispositions call for different pastoral/counseling tones—if we only ask, “What does the Bible say about [blank]?” we miss, or at least forget to look for, this.

I think Peter would say that whether anxiety is suffering-based or sin-based that Satan intends to use it for the same purpose—namely to devour our lives. Satan does not care what he uses to destroy our lives: the selfishness of sin or the despair of suffering. As long as he gets our eyes off of Christ and causes a doubt in God that causes us to turn in on ourselves, Satan is delighted.

What is the point? Why does this matter? When we see the situation-specific ways that God spoke to similar life struggles it allows us to see Him as more wise and more caring. The call to trust God as compassionate, which is at the core for both Paul and Peter, becomes more believable.

When we see God this way, it changes the way that we speak to one another on God’s behalf. We ask more questions and learn how to speak the gospel to the same issue (in this case anxiety) in different circumstances (both sin and suffering). We become more complete and accurate ambassadors of God’s heart for His children and the world.

God’s Words for Being Lied Against: Psalm 4

by brad on February 21, 2011 in Counseling Reflection with 1 Comment

Case Study: If there was a word that Amy hated it was “politics.” She wasn’t good at it and didn’t want to be. Falsely she hoped that by never running for public office, she would be able to avoid it. But unfortunately politics is not the exclusive domain of professionals.

Two other women in her office knew what was “best” for the business. They were not the owners, or even the manager, but these women “had the boss’s ear.” Amy didn’t even realize she was setting off an office bomb when she offered to take on a new responsibility in order to gain some extra pay. But later she learned the significance of “by-passing” the “powers that be.”

Her two co-workers, who were peers by position title, were offended that Amy would try to show them up and cheat them out of money. Amy thought everyone knew her husband was a construction worker and that they were facing hard times during the down economy. Their husbands had stable salaried jobs.

The spin was ferocious. Soon Amy was a silent, distant, money-grabbing, power-player who wasn’t interested in the team atmosphere of the office. It was as if the other two women were professional character developers for a sitcom writer. Amy soon had a type-cast role that reinterpreted her every response. Whenever Amy finally spoke up, the other women were indignant that Amy would accuse them of slander “after all Amy had done.” This only made matters worse.

Amy’s first response was fear and her second response was hurt. She woke up at night thinking about losing her job. Then she thought about how miserable it would be to stay at her job now. Her 13 years at the office seemed like they had been thrown away in one innocent request for extra work for extra pay to supplement her family income. For weeks she cried frequently while eating, sleeping, or talking infrequently.

One day she started looking for words for her experience in the Bible (she didn’t know where else to look). She began in the Psalms and didn’t make it to the second page before she reached Psalm 4 and read her story written before she lived it. She returned to this Psalm often and even personalized it in her own words.

Pre-Questions: This case study is meant to challenge you to think biblically about the real struggles of life. These questions will not be answered completely in the sections below. But they do represent the kind of struggles that are being wrestled with in Psalm 4. Use the question to both stir application and to give you new insight into the psalm.

  • What is the hardest part of being blind-sided by consequences that don’t naturally flow from your actions?
  • How does a lie create an “alternative narrative” for your life that reinterprets your every action?
  • How should Amy find the strength and courage to persevere in her difficult work environment?
  • How should Amy respond to the fear and hurt she feels?

Read Psalm 4 in your preferred Bible translation. The “rewrite” of Psalm 4 below is an attempt to capture the words that God would give Amy to pray (Romans 8:26-27). This would be something Amy would need to pray many times as she struggled with insecurity.

A re-write of Psalm 4

1. Lord, I need you now. Please here me when I pray. I was trying to follow You even when this mess got started. You are bigger than this crisis and You offer more peace than a paycheck but I sometimes don’t see that. Be patient with me as I pray through this same thing many times.

2. How long will these two women spin my attempt to work hard as if it was an under-handed action? How long will they enjoy creating scenarios to reframe my words and seek for ways to substantiate their revisionist history?

3. Lord, I know You have saved me and set me apart for Yourself. That is why I can pray to You with confidence. I am Your child long before and long after I am their co-worker. You define me. I am not sure they even know me.

4. Lord, Cause them to be angry for the right reason (at deceit or laziness, not willingness to work hard). If they were angry at the right things they wouldn’t sin like this. Cause them to ponder integrity night and day and with each waking thought.

5. Show them their actions are not right. Show them the type of work and relationships You bless. Cause them to put their trust in You rather than their “pull” within the office.

6. Lord, I am sure they would say, “We think we are doing the right thing. Show us where we are wrong. If God can be against what we are for, we must not know God.” I can’t break through that kind of thinking. Lord, only You can. I give them to You.

7. Lord, I have more joy in You than they do in all their power and clout. I don’t want what they have and they can’t take what You give. When I remember this, I can avoid being drawn into a competition I don’t want to win.

8. This gives me a rest that I haven’t known in weeks. Lord, only You can allow a person to rest well in uncertain times. Keep this perspective impressed in my thoughts as I sleep, when I wake, as I go to work, and when I return home. Safety is neither a place or a dollar amount; it is being with You. Thank You for being ever-present.

Passages for Further Study: Psalm 55:19-23; Proverbs 26:4-5, 23-28; Jeremiah 9:7-9; Matthew 5:2-12; Mark 7:14-23

Post Questions: Now that you have read Psalm 4, examined how Amy might rewrite it for her situation, and studied several other passages, consider the following questions:

  • In what ways does the action of being lied about tempt Amy to take her focus off of God? How does this affect the things she thinks about and what she feels?
  • How does the “effectiveness” of lying shape the way we define “success” in life?
  • How would your answers to the “pre-questions” have changed as a result of reflecting on Psalm 4?
  • For what instances of being lied about or relational betrayal do you need to re-write your own version of Psalm 4?

Bible Verses on Anxiety

by brad on January 26, 2011 in Church Resource with 1 Comment

Effective Biblical Counseling can never be reduced to the question, “What does the Bible say about [topic]?” Both life and counseling require more than having the right answer to a question. Counseling (or Christian friendship that seeks to embody the “one another” commands of the New Testament) is when one person joins another on his/her journey to cultivate more of the fruit of the Spirit in his/her life by overcoming some life struggle.

What you find below should be considered the “map” for this journey. God’s Word helps us see both where we are (stuck in sin and/or suffering) and where we want to be. The Summit counseling ministry hopes you find both direction and encouragement for your journey in these passages.

This list is updated periodically.

It is not God’s design for us to live in fear and anxiety.

Philippians 4:5-9, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

A characteristic mark of growing in Christian maturity is peace.

Galatians 5:22-26, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

The most important question during anxiety is, “Where will I turn for peace?”

Psalm 56:3-4, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”

Daily responsibilities bring anxiety and we battle to focus on the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Our concern for others produces anxieties that are rooted in compassion.

2 Corinthians 11:28-29, “And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?”

Anxiety can be physically exhausting.

Proverbs 12:25, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

God is concerned about and wants to hear what troubles our souls.

1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Worry does not change life and is of no benefit.

Psalm 127:2, “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”

Anxiety ultimately expresses unbelief in God’s willingness or ability to care for us.

Matthew 6:25-34, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Other Passages to Study: Proverbs 3:24-26; Isaiah 9:6, 12:12, 26:3; John 14:1-6, 25-29, 16:33; Romans 8:6; Ephesians 2:14-22; Colossians 3:14-17, 2 Thessalonians 3:16; 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Other Topics to Consider: Character, Change Process, Codependency, Contentment, Decision Making, Emotions (General), Self-Esteem

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