This is a weekly post that highlights resources from other counselors that I have found helpful. The counselors may be from the biblical counseling, Christian psychology, integration, or secular counseling traditions. By linking to a post, I am not giving it my full endorsement, I am merely indicating that I believe it made a unique contribution or raised an important subject for consideration.
A lot of people don’t think a chubby girl can have an eating disorder. The pervasive stereotype in our culture of someone suffering from an eating disorder is that of a tiny, emaciated girl who thinks she is fat but is really withering away. But it’s so much more complicated. As Giardino’s case shows, it’s possible for a person to suffer from disordered eating and to have an unhealthy obsession with their weight, while still technically being what’s considered a “normal” weight.
- For help with either over-restricting or over-indulging consider the Gaining a Healthy Relationship with Food seminar.
The day I learned my daughter was battling bulimia, we were together in the car—an increasingly rare experience since she’d gotten her license the month before. I was excited to have her in my front seat again, because “car time” is when we have our best conversations. This day would be no different. Yet what followed was a conversation I never expected.
- For a book that helps you relate to the experience of living with an eating disorder see the “What I’m Reading” section below.
Stepfamily Math (Podcast) by Ron Deal of FamilyLife Blended
A family of five has about 20 relationships to manage but what about a stepfamily of five? Well, add the ex-spouses, their new partners and their children and a stepfamily of five has 210 relationships to manage. Then there is the confused identity multiplier. The stepdad has one idea of his role, his wife has a second, his stepchildren, biological child and his wife’s ex-husband have others. That calculates to 420 relationships. No wonder stepfamilies are tired. Don’t worry we’ve got your back.
- Here is another post on a common challenge blended families face — co-parents (divorced spouses) who are divided over moral or spiritual matters.
A lot of so-called “positive psychology” can seem a bit flaky, especially if you’re the sort of person disinclined to respond well to an admonition to “look on the bright side.” But positive psychologists have published some interesting findings, and one of the more robust ones is that feeling grateful is very good for you. Time and again, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can bring a range of benefits, such as feelings of increased well-being and reduced depression, that often linger well after the exercises are finished.
- Here is a post on why we sometimes avoid expressing gratitude — it can feel like weakness.
After Cheating: Restoring Relationship Trust by Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S
Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you deliberately keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner. I developed this definition because it focuses not on specific sexual behaviors, but on what ultimately matters most to a betrayed partner—the loss of relationship trust. That is the crux of infidelity, and that is what must be repaired if cheaters hope to salvage a deeply damaged primary relationship. In fact, after more than 25 years as a therapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues, I can state unequivocally that the process of healing a relationship damaged by infidelity begins and ends with the restoration of trust. Moreover, to repair relationship trust cheaters must not only come clean—in a general way, and preferably with guidance provided by an experienced couple’s counselor—about what they have done (i.e., the cheating), they must become rigorously honest about all other aspects of their life both in the moment and moving forward.
- Here is post from the True Betrayal seminar that offers a 10 step progression for restoring broken trust.
What I’m Reading
Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too by Jenni Schaefer. Jenni had been in an abusive relationship with Ed [Eating Disorder] for far too long. He controlled Jenni’s life, distorted her self-image, and tried to physically harm her throughout their long affair. Then, in therapy, Jenni learned to treat her eating disorder as a relationship, not a condition. By thinking of her eating disorder as a unique personality separate from her own, Jenni was able to break up with Ed once and for all.
Inspiring, compassionate, and filled with practical exercises to help you break up with your own personal E.D., Life Without Ed provides hope to the millions of people plagued by eating disorders. Beginning with Jenni’s “divorce” from Ed, this supportive, lifesaving book combines a patient’s insights and experiences with a therapist’s prescriptions for success to help you live a healthier, happier life without Ed.
Tweets of the Week
"Tragedy is that our attention centers on what people are not, rather than on what they are and who they might become." ~Brennan Manning
— Jeremy Summers (@jeremysummers) March 2, 2017
In 2016 almost 90,000 Christians died for their faith. That's a martyred Christian every six minutes. Every. Six. Minutes.
— J.R. Briggs (@jr_briggs) February 27, 2017
On the Lighter Side
Because, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.
I can’t unsee this.
Let’s put a moratorium on the stock photos of men peeing in fields. With God’s help, we can do it.
— Matt Smethurst (@MattSmethurst) March 1, 2017