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Book Announcement: Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling

by brad on February 21, 2013 in Book Review with No comments

Christ-Centered-Front-Cover-191x300I’m honored to serve as a contributor to Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling, a book published by Harvest House and produced by the Biblical Counseling Coalition, even if doing so does make me the “co-author of sin” (theological nerd humor… see chapter 9 to get it).

Release Date

You can order the book here.

Here is free sample chapter from John Piper and Jack Delk and a list of the endorsements for this book from an assortments of Christian leaders.

We’re grateful that Dr. David Powlison of CCEF has penned the Foreword. Here’s a brief excerpt of his words about Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling.

Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling … revolutionizes the meanings that our culture attaches to the word counseling… The discussion and case studies will give you a solid feel for how the Word of life speaks into the lives of troubled and troublesome people who face a world of troubles.

This book affirms that a good counselor is many things simultaneously: tender and firm, responsive yet purposeful, candid and tactful, patient yet urgent, attentive and instructive, profound yet practical, prayerful and hard-working, comforting yet challenging, empathetic and objective, flexible yet committed, faithful to Jesus Christ and relevant to any person facing any trouble… along with many other good and desirable qualities. While the ingredients of deft conversation are hard to capture on paper, the tone and content of what you read will give you a feel for how godly wisdom carries on a compassionate and constructive conversation.

Chapters and Authors

Foreword—David Powlison

Introduction: In Christ Alone—Bob Kellemen and Steve Viars

Part 1: A Practical Theology of Biblical Counseling 

Chapter 1: The Glory of God: The Goal of Biblical Counseling—John Piper and Jack Delk

Chapter 2: The Power of the Redeemer—Ernie Baker and Jonathan Holmes

Chapter 3: The Ministry of the Holy Spirit—Justin Holcomb and Mike Wilkerson

Chapter 4: The Unity of the Trinity—Kevin Carson and Jeff Forrey

Chapter 5: The Grand Narrative of the Bible—John Henderson

Chapter 6: The Sufficiency of Scripture—Steve Viars and Rob Green

Chapter 7: The Spiritual Anatomy of the Soul—Bob Kellemen and Sam Williams

Chapter 8: The Influences on the Human Heart—Jeff Forrey and Jim Newheiser

Chapter 9: The Problem of Sin—Robert Jones and Brad Hambrick

Chapter 10: The Centrality of the Gospel—Robert Cheong

Chapter 11: The Gospel in Balance—Stuart Scott

Chapter 12: The Pursuit of Holiness—Lee Lewis and Michael Snetzer

Chapter 13: The Weapons of Our Warfare—Bob Kellemen and Dwayne Bond

Chapter 14: The Hope of Eternity—Nicolas Ellen and Jeremy Lelek

Part 2: A Practical Methodology of Biblical Counseling

Chapter 15: The Biblical Counseling Ministry of the Local Church—Steve Viars and Rob Green

Chapter 16: The Health of the Church and Biblical Counseling—Deepak Reju and Mark Dever

Chapter 17: The Personal, Private, and Pulpit Ministry of the Word—Kevin Carson

Chapter 18: The Transformational Tie Between Small Group Ministry and Biblical Counseling—Brad Bigney and Ken Long

Chapter 19: The Goal and Focus of Spiritual Formation— Robert Cheong and Heath Lambert

Chapter 20: The Importance of Multiculturalism in Biblical Counseling—Rod Mays and Charles Ware

Chapter 21: The Nature of the Biblical Counseling Relationship—Jeremy Pierre and Mark Shaw

Chapter 22: The Key Elements of the Biblical Counseling Process—Randy Patten and Mark Dutton

Chapter 23: The Diagnosis and Treatment of Idols of the Heart—Howard Eyrich and Elyse Fitzpatrick

Chapter 24: The Power of Confession and Repentance—James MacDonald and Garrett Higbee

Chapter 25: The Power of Forgiveness—James MacDonald and Garrett Higbee

Chapter 26: The Ministry of Soul Care for People Who Suffer—Bob Kellemen and Greg Cook

Chapter 27: The Biblical Understanding and Treatment of Emotions—Jeff Forrey

Chapter 28: The Complex Mind/Body Connection—Laura Hendrickson

Conclusion: Unity in Truth and Love—Bob Kellemen and Steve Viars

Appendix A: The Mission, Vision, and Passion Statement of the Biblical Counseling Coalition

Appendix B: The Confessional Statement of the Biblical Counseling Coalition

Appendix C: The Doctrinal Statement of the Biblical Counseling Coalition

Book Review: Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary and Mona Shriver

by brad on February 16, 2012 in Book Review with No comments

When I counsel couples who are experiencing the affects of infidelity one of the most common things I hear them ask for is an example of a couple who has been where they are and restored their marriage. Usually the only time we hear of infidelity is when a couple gets divorced. Hence when a couple is facing this challenge, the only examples they know of are failed marriages. This compounds pain and betrayal with hopelessness.

Gary and Mona Shriver show great courage by allowing their testimony to speak into that void. Telling the story of Gary’s unfaithfulness and their marital recovery, they write a book about what restoration looks like. However, the book is more than their story. It is a book  about the process of recovery which is effectively illustrated with Gary and Mona’s experience of that process.

Strengths of the Book

There is great deal to like about Unfaithful, so for space considerations I will highlight those in a bulleted format which mixes my thoughts with excerpts from the book.

  • Honest and Real: The greatest strength of this book is how it allows a couple to see and hear their experience from an outside perspective. It gives them something they can say, “Yes! That sounds like us. That’s what we’re going through,” when it is hard for them to believe anyone could comprehend the magnitude of their experience. The vividness and honesty with which the Shrivers tell their story (without unnecessary details) is what I have seen God use repeatedly to give couples a first taste of hope after adultery comes to light.
  • “I heard Gary come in, and I heard the boys greet their father. Normal sounds. But this wasn’t a normal household. Nothing was normal anymore. I wasn’t normal. All I could do was cry and ask questions. I was obsessed. Everyone would be fine if I could just move on. They could all just live their normal little lives with all the other normal people (p. 41)… Nothing surprised me anymore. Except me—I surprised me all the time (p. 177).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

 

  • Sequential: While acknowledging that recovering from an adultery is not neat and does not follow systematic “steps,” the Shrivers do organize the book around principles or themes that have a general order. They buffer from making this a “uniform process” by telling snippets of their story at the beginning of each chapter, and the vignettes vary in the time period of their recovery addressed. Within this principled lay out, I appreciated that they put forgiveness after disclosure, learning about the marriage, and mourning. Too often I find couples focus on forgiveness to early in the restoration process and it harms their ability to maintain hope that they “have what it takes.”
  • “Gary was not the man I had thought he was, but I was no longer sure who I was either. For that matter, who were we as a couple? Were we a couple (p. 24)?… That night my life took on a new timetable: before the affair, during the affair, and after the affair. Everything during was now marred and distorted: our family trip to Disneyland, Gary and I going to Hawaii. I recalled snippets of conversation with both Gary and my friend and suddenly heard and saw completely different things (p. 26)… You each will process at your own pace. Remember, the infidel began this process before the affair even began. The spouse typically begins at revelation (p. 54).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

 

  • Sensitively Biblical: While Gary and Mona make it clear that overcoming the affects of adultery is a God-sized task and they frequently teach from Scripture, they do not lead with the Bible. They walk towards their reader in compassion, identifying with their pain and confusion, and then walk the reader towards the hope of Scripture. In that sense, Unfaithful reads a bit theologically light, but I found their approach to be very effective and theologically powerful for their audience.
  • “We found that not recognizing the loss, not mourning, only made it worse (p. 131)… It took us a while to identify the things we had lost, and even when we did, accepting that they were really gone was more difficult that we expected it would be. However, once we were able to name them, it seemed we had taken another step on the path of healing. We didn’t feel so stuck (p. 132)… We had to mourn the time of Gary’s unfaithfulness, but that did not mean his faithfulness to Mona or to God could not be resumed (p. 135).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

 

  • Lay Written But Well Informed: Gary and Mona are not trained counselors; nor do they have any formal theological education. They are “regular lay people” who experienced a tragedy, saw a void in the church’s care, and studied hard in their area of need to be equipped to serve the church by serving others in the area of adultery recovery. I found them to be well read and well thought out in their subject matter. Their lack of training gave them an extra dose of humility that made them more readable than some “experts.”
  • “How many people knew about the affair? I didn’t know and would never know… I felt as if I were wearing a sign that read, “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!’ (p. 61)…. God, I need a miracle here. You’re the great Healer. Heal us! Let me wake up from this nightmare. We’re sitting here breathing, and yet as surely as there is air moving in and out of my lungs, I know we’re dying. But I want to know why I have to die when the sin is not mine! I didn’t do this (p. 75)… In my weary brain there were only three alternatives: lying to myself, being lied to, or pain. If there was no pain, then someone must be lying (p. 98).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

 

  • Experienced as Helpee and Helper: After their marriage was restored, Gary and Mona started Hope & Healing Ministries and have walked with many couples through the aftermath of adultery in a support group setting. As you read their book, you hear the voices of other couples and other experiences. This adds to the richness of a book that otherwise could become too anecdotal and based upon what worked for one couple, with one set of personalities, in one set of circumstances. With this experience the book reads like a musical with two soloists singing a song of redemption backed by a large choir of voices agreeing and filling out the redemptive song.
  • “She suddenly realized she had lost not only her marriage and her husband but also part of herself. There was absolutely nothing left to hang on to. She found herself completely insufficient for the first time in her life, and terror gripped her… She came to understand that she had put Gary above God. It was not that she thought Gary was God—especially now—but she looked to Gary to be her source of strength, comfort, and love (p. 66)… Our faith grew because we found we were not enough and God was (p. 67).” Gary & Mona Shriver in Unfaithful

 

Ministry Usage at Summit

As Summit launches our recovery ministry for spouses processing the affects of marital infidelity, Gary and Mona Shriver’s book will be a core resource that we use. Of all the books I read on the subject it did the best job of capturing the gospel-centered, Bible-based redemptive tone that we want to promote in all our ministries. If you are interested in learning more about our men’s and women’s purity ministries, I would encourage you to attend our upcoming seminar.

True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin
February 19, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed

Book Review: Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free by Tim Chester

by brad on February 9, 2012 in Book Review with 1 Comment

Pornography is a cultural epidemic. No one who is in ministry will be able to avoid counseling people who struggle with pornography. Sexual sin is an awkward subject that is frequently avoided because of the shame and discomfort associated with it. There is a desperate need for resources that speak to is subject in a way that draws from the shame-breaking hope of the gospel and points people into biblical community for lasting change. It is for these reasons that I am grateful for Tim Chester’s book Closing the Window.

Early in the book, Chester draws upon this quote from Martin Luther to alert the reader to how vital it is for the church to speak to subjects like pornography.

“If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues that deal specifically with your time, you are not preaching the gospel at all (p. 10).”

Strengths of the Book

There is great deal to like about Closing the Window, so for space considerations I will highlight those in a bulleted format which mixes my thoughts with excerpts from the book.

  • Avoids Stereotypes: I was grateful to see that Chester did not offer a “system of redemption” that would only serve a particular type of person or origin of struggle. While he writes primarily for a male audience, he acknowledges the significant rise in pornography usage among females (p. 9). It is a relief not to have to consider whether the personality of a counselee will match with the envisioned audience of the book.

 

  • “In our culture sex is everything and sex is nothing (p. 120)… One of the things that porn does is to make us think marriage is for sex. But it’s the other way round: sex is for marriage (p. 125)… So what is sex for? It is, first and foremost, an act of unification, uniting two people into one flesh (p. 122)… That’s why porn—along with all sex outside of marriage—is a sham, a fiction, a lie. You can no more ‘try out’ sex than you can ‘try out’ birth. The very act produces a new reality that cannot be undone (p. 123).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

 

  • Biblical Narrative: What may stand out most to the reader is how seamlessly Chester ties his book with the themes of the gospel. While avoiding the temptation to become too academic or theological, the reader is constantly drawn to understand his/her life as part of God’s great story of redemption. Too often when books are divided into “theological” and “practical” suggestions, an implicit message is sent that “the Bible needs our help to be relevant.” Chester does an excellent job of revealing the Bible to be a powerfully practical mirror.

 

  • “Porn is easy. It’s trouble-free and its pleasures are instant. Marriage is hard work. It involves two sinners being thrown together in close proximity (p. 127)!… Marriage is a gift for service, and sex is gloriously given to cement that partnership. But don’t let sex become the goal of your marriage—otherwise porn may seem like a good supplement (p. 129).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

 

  • Undressing Pornography: In chapter one Chester gives twelve points about the effects of pornography that do an excellent job of removing its deceptive appeal. Without diminishing the fact that pornography is wrong, Chester vividly portrays how pornography is dangerous and disgusting. I found his ability to make pornography, which thrives on being appealing, look revolting to be very effective.

 

  • “It is not difficult to see how porn feeds off these cultural expectations. It creates a fantasy that perfectly matches each of these fears. If you fear failure, then porn promises success—you always get the woman. If you fear rejection, then porn promises approval—a woman worships you. If you fear powerlessness, then porn promises potency—women are under your power (p. 50).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

 

  • Positive: It is easy to hammer a subject like pornography. But I do not believe any reader of Closing the Window will feel beat up as he/she goes through the pages. Chester only highlights the sinfulness of sin to point to necessity and grandeur of Christ. As I read, I was constantly left with the thought, “God is so much better than porn and offers everything porn’s empty promises uses to entice.”

 

  • “Here are three common reasons why people want to kick their porn habit: (1) to prove ourselves to God – so he will bless us or save us; (2) to prove ourselves to other people – so people like us or approve of us; (3) to prove ourselves to ourselves – so we feel good about ourselves… None of these reasons work, because they put ‘me’ at the center of my change project. And putting myself at the center is pretty much the definition of sin (p. 68)!… For some people, porn offers redemption, in terms of acceptance and affirmation, an alternative forgiveness. ‘I just want to feel that I’m OK. I turn to porn instead of God because the gospel doesn’t tell me that I’m OK. It tells me I’m a wicked sinner and Jesus died in my place. The gospel demands that I change. Porn says, ‘You’re OK just as you are (p. 57).’” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

 

  • Idol-Killing: Chester’s vision for change is not satisfied with habit-breaking. He gives a clear and convincing call to identify and kill (mortify) the idols that motivate the pursuit of pornography. Yet even in this call for deep and decisive change, Chester is honest about the common (universal) human struggle with idolatry, so that the person who comes to Christ in repentance for pornography realizes they come to the same cross as every other recipient of God’s grace.

 

  • “But I’ve found that many men can stop habitual masturbation more readily than they imagine. Once they’re persuaded that life without masturbation is better than life with masturbation (p. 93)… Every time we worship God we’re reminding ourselves that he is bigger and better than anything porn can offer (p. 99).” Tim Chester in Closing the Window

 

Ministry Usage at Summit

As Summit revamps our men’s and women’s purity ministries, Tim Chester’s book will be a core resource that we use. Of all the books I read on the subject, it did the best job of capturing the gospel-centered, Bible-based redemptive tone that we want to promote in all our ministries. If you are interested in learning more about our men’s and women’s purity ministries, I would encourage you to attend our upcoming seminar.

False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Lust to Adultery
February 12, 2012 // 5:00 to 8:00 pm
The Summit Church; Brier Creek South Venue
2415 Presidential Drive, Suite 107; Durham, NC 27703
Free – No RSVP Needed

Book Review: Equipping Counselors for Your Church: The 4E Ministry Training Strategy by Robert W. Kellemen, PhD.

by brad on September 28, 2011 in Book Review with 4 Comments

Do you want to see your church develop a biblical counseling ministry, but don’t know where to begin? Do you feel like you don’t know what questions you would need to ask or who would need to be in the room as you seek to answer them? Are you worried about the logistics and liabilities that would arise as you sought to launch this kind of ministry initiative?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Dr. Kellemen has put together a book you need to read. Not only does he draw upon his own years of experience as a pastor (both associate of counseling and senior pastor) and as a professor teaching counseling in seminary, he draws upon the best practices from two dozen counselors who have led counseling ministries in the local church or parachurch setting.

Throughout the book these two dozen counselors comment about their experience in creating counseling ministries at each stage of the process. In effect, it’s a little like a recovery group meeting. Dr. Kellemen teaches the main lesson which articulates the key aspects of one leg in the journey. Then each counselor gives a testimony about their successes, failures, and key life lessons on that point.

The result is a robust resource that provides detailed guidance without succumbing to a one-size-fits-all counseling model. Rather than giving a step-by-step process to a predetermined outcome, Dr. Kellemen takes you through a question-by-question process to determine what expressions of a counseling ministry would best fit your church and community.

A Small Word, But a Big Distinction

One of the primary emphases of this book is that it advocates for churches to become “a church of biblical counseling” rather than “a church with a biblical counseling ministry.” The difference is significant. A church with a biblical counseling ministry will see its counseling ministry serve exclusively as an “ER” of crisis cases that remained hidden until they were bursting with complexity.

A church of biblical counseling becomes more equipped and prepared to handle such crisis cases, but the counseling ministry interacts with the rest of the church (as a part of the disciple-making process) so that more individuals and families receive care before their struggles become life-dominating. The honesty and transparency of a counseling relationship begins to trickle into the life of the church to a degree that members are “doing life together” in Christian community.

The 4 E’s

If I were reading this review, I would want to know what the 4 E’s were. In keeping with the power-packed, highly-concentrated nature of the book, Dr. Kellemen was able to squeeze five E’s into his four E strategy: (1) Envisioning God’s Ministry, (2) Enlisting God’s Ministers for Ministry, (3) Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry, and (4) Empowering/Employing Godly Ministers for Ministry.

If you look at those categories and find yourself thinking, “That seems like a process that could be used for any ministry,” then you are beginning to catch the value of this book. Dr. Kellemen is not spending a large amount of time teaching you a foreign process to develop a counseling ministry. If that were the case, you would have to teach your congregation the process and then begin creating the counseling ministry. However, because the book is built around sound, biblical leadership methods, a church that has launched other effective ministries will have no problem utilizing this resource.

What you will find in each E are the key questions and implications that need to be asked for developing a counseling ministry. For the pastor, elder, or other local church leader this should be very comforting. You will find guidance for what you don’t know within the framework  with which you are familiar.

A Sample

Counseling can be intimidating. If you are not slightly over-whelmed at the thought of starting a counseling ministry, you may lack the humility necessary to be a good counselor. With that in mind, one of the most effective ways I can conclude this review is to give you a sample from the book on one of counseling’s most intimidating subjects—legal liability.

On his ministry blog, Dr. Kellemen recently posted a six part series on “The Law and Church Counseling.” If you want to know the quality and type of resource you would be getting in Equipping Counselors for Your Church, I would encourage you to preview these posts.

The Law and Church Counseling: Part One – Caring Carefully
The Law and Church Counseling: Part Two – The Legal History and Climate
The Law and Church Counseling: Part Three – Scope of Care
The Law and Church Counseling: Part Four – Quality of Care
The Law and Church Counseling: Part Five – Building Safeguards Into Your Ministry
The Law and Church Counseling: Part Six – Counting the Cost

Other sample resources include:

The book video trailer as a blog post: http://bit.ly/dJFGj3
The book video trailer on YouTube: http://bit.ly/f6gQNU
Link to a free sample chapter: http://bit.ly/EC4YC4ESample
Link to Equipping Counselors home page with several free resources: http://bit.ly/EC4YC4E

Conclusion

This book meets a real need in Biblical Counseling – helping churches cultivate a counseling ministry that is tailored to the needs of their particular congregation and community. Over the last several decades Biblical Counseling has produced a large number of excellent resources, but it has not always been clear what a church was supposed to do with those resources. If you want to begin to explore that possibility with your church, I cannot think of a better book to guide you in that process.

 
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