Archive for April, 2015

We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties

We have experienced a site crash and are seeking to identify remedies. I apologize for the period of time in which resources will be unavailable and am working diligently to get the site to it previous condition. We hope to have the resources previously available at bradhambrick.com available soon. Thank you for your patience.

Many links you may have previously used will not be operational until the site restoration process is complete. But all links should be operational once the site is restored.

Update (April 29, 2015): Progress continues to be made. Thank you for your continued patience.

Memories After Forgiveness: A Series from Miroslav Volf (Part 4 of 7)

miroslav_volfWhat do we do with memories of intense offenses after we forgive? This is a vexing question in a world marred by violence. Oh, that we could really “forgive and forget.” This is the question Miroslav Volf seeks to answer in his book The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly in aWorld of Violence.

This blog series the postscript to Dr. Volf’s book in which he seeks to illustrate what he’s taught through imagined conversations with “Captian G.” – his chief interrogator during Miroslav’s eight years of political imprisonment for being a Christian and “Western sympathizer” in the former communist Yugoslavia.

I admire the honesty and vulnerability of this book. It remains true to the historic Christian positions on forgiveness and righteousness without making the living of those answers seem any “neater” than they really are in a broken world. I hope this series of excerpts will motivate many people to read this excellent book. I believe its content can be of great benefit for those who’ve face various forms of abuse and what to know how to honor God with those memories they cannot forget.

This seven part series will be posted in the following units:

I gave Captain G. another call.

“I’m sorry I stormed out of our last meeting. I’ve done some thinking about our encounter. Maybe we should try one more time,” I said somewhat tentatively to the incredulous voice at the other end of the telephone line.

“And what makes you think we won’t part in the same way we did the last time, more angry with each other than when we started talking?” he inquired, reasonably.

“Well, I’m thinking of asking a guest to join us – an Invisible Guest, but a real one nonetheless.”

“Spare me the clumsy indirectness. You know that I don’t believe in God.”

“That’s your right. But I’m not suggesting that we discuss whether or not God exists or whether it’s good to believe in God. I know very well that you don’t think religion is a force for good. But even if you don’t believe in God, I do. And for me, at least, a sense of the presence of God – a giving and forgiving God, a God of truth and justice who loves you no less than me – might make a difference in our encounter.”

“Your invisible guest amounts to no guest at all, as far as I am concerned; but if that imaginary crutch helps you, it’s fine with me.”

“Crutch? You might as well call the air I breathe a ‘crutch.’ But I won’t argue with you. You were schooled in the Marxist critique of religion. So perhaps you can think of my guest as a screen onto which I’ve projected the commitment to be truthful, no matter whether truth favors you or me; the desire to repair and restore the human bond between us; the pledge to forgive while not disregarding justice; the belief in the possibility of human goodness, notwithstanding our fragility and flaws; the hope in future wholeness and reconciliation.”

“That may be a bit too much for a ‘Guest-on-the-screen’ to accomplish,” he grumbled skeptically. “You’d probably need a real God, and a Christian God on top of it, to achieve all that.”

“I think you’re right. And that, among other things, is why I believe. Do you agree to meet once more?”

He did. As I was waiting for him a few days later, I ran through the best-case scenario of our imminent encounter, but I knew full well that in reality it might turn out differently, very differently. Here is what I decided I wanted to happen between us, in the presence of the One I believed was as much his Guest as mine.

My Favorite Posts on Sex and Sexuality

The “My Favorite Posts” series on my blog is how I catalog posts I’ve written to help my readers find the material that is the best-fit for their interest or need. I hope this series creates a more user-friendly experience for my readers and allows this site to become a trusted resource hub for the church.

Seminar Resource:

On-Line Evaluation:

Blog Posts:

Book Recommendations:

How to Respond to Headship Decisions: Guidance for Wives

Which is harder, leading or submitting? Don’t answer. The correct response is “yes.” There is a great deal of weight and responsibility placed upon the husband as head of his family. But there is an equal level of importance placed upon the wife in her role of helper in her family. If we emphasize the weight or important of one role over the other we do an injustice to the design and dignity God gives to both genders.

In this section we’ll speak primarily to the wife as we seek to answer the question, “How should a wife respond in situations where her husband exercises his role as head of the family in making a decision over which there is disagreement?”

Decision Making is not the only expression a husband’s headship should take. For other aspects of the husband’s role as head of the family see chapter five of the Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations seminar.

Here are five responses a wife should have to a healthy expression of her husband leading in a decision. These are not “steps” but they do have an intentional order. If it is difficult for you to fulfill one of the earlier points, it will be very difficult for you to fulfill the latter points in a way that feels genuine rather than forced.

Note: These responses assume that the decision made is not sinful or dangerous.

  1. Believe the best about your husband’s motivation in leading. It is easy to view a leader who makes a decision you disagree with as ignorant, selfish, lazy, short-sighted, controlling, or as having some other bad motive. This tendency within the family is rooted in the effects of the Fall; after which God said to the wife, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you (Gen. 3:13b).” What she wants, a strong man to lead her family, she will also mistrust. Overcoming this tendency (trusting) is the core of a good response to your husband’s leadership of the family.
  2. Affirm the process even before you know the outcome. One of the benefits of this chapter should be that you can have confidence in the process of decision making even before you know the outcome (which will inevitably be in doubt for a decision on which you disagree). Your husband will not always be right; in the same way individual and consensus decisions will not always be “right” (result in the optimal outcome). If this pressure – to always and immediately be right – is added to headship decisions, it will either contribute to passivity or control on the part of your husband. Look for opportunities to say, “Thank you for leading our family and doing it the way you did,” with a smile, eye contact, and an affectionate touch.
  3. Strive to make the decision succeed. The level of effort you give to making the decision succeed should be as great as if your preference were chosen. Anything less would be a form of bitterness or resentment; a root of trouble for your marriage (Heb. 12:15). After the decision making process has concluded refrain from referring to the outcome as “his decision” in your own thinking and, especially, to others. What efforts this “striving” may entail will vary greatly based upon the nature of the decision, but you want it to be clear you are “all in” on what your husband believes is best for the family.
  4. Speak and think of the decision positively. This is actually an extension of the previous point. One of the ways you can strive to make a decision succeed is to facilitate a positive morale around that decision. The words you use are important for: (1) you, as protection against grumbling or fear; (2) your husband, as protection against tendencies towards passivity or control; (3) your children, as they learn what it means to honor their parents and other authorities even when they disagree or don’t understand; and (4) your friends, so that they remain a positive influence in your marriage rather than a polarizing presence because they’ve “taken sides.”
  5. Offer feedback without questioning his role. Submitting to your husband’s decision and joyfully striving to make it succeed need not necessitate silence regarding any concerns from that point forward. As with any decisions, the process and outcome will need to be evaluated, and you have many valuable things to add to that evaluation. One of the primary ways you can offer feedback without questioning your husband’s role is to use first person plural pronouns (i.e., we, us, our). “Some things we should consider for future decisions for our family are…” This displays the level of ownership and participation you took in the decision.

Word to Husbands: You protect your wife in her ability to display these responses by (a) not over utilizing your role as head of the family, (b) patiently utilizing the process advised to ensure she has voice even in decisions where you exercise headship, and (c) inviting feedback when you do exercise headship.

The willingness to learn and assess is a key part of humility for leaders, especially husbands leading their family. Realize that being heard after a headship decision is vital in maintaining your wife’s trust for your continued leadership of the family. Often you will gain more trust even if your decision proves ineffective and your wife is heard than if your decision proves effective and she does not feel heard.

Any time that you exercise headship in a decision you should invite your wife’s critique of these three areas. It is recommended that you ask the questions in this order; placing the critique of the actual decision last.

  • Invite a critique of the process. Did you feel heard throughout the decision making process? Did you believe that I understood and valued your primary concerns? Did you feel informed about what factors weighed heaviest to me in this decision? Did you believe you knew what you needed to know about when and how the decision would be made and what needed to be done as we enacted the decision?
  • Invite a critique of your tone in leading. Did you feel honored in our conversations about this decision? Did the way I ask you to support me in the final decision feel honoring to you? Did my expressions of gratitude for your support after the decision seem genuine; are there ways they could have been more encouraging for you?
  • Invite a critique of the decision. Do you believe this has been a good decision for our family? Which of the things that weighed heavily in my decision have proven most and least relevant? Are there any adjustments (if possible) we need to make in the decision in light of what we learned since that time?

If this post was beneficial for you, then considering reading other blogs from my “Favorite Posts on Marriage” post which address other facets of this subject.

Tweets of the Week 4.7.15

There is great value in saying something in a memorable, concise manner. Twitter has caused us to make this a near spiritual discipline. For my own growth (as a generally verbose individual… that’s a long way of saying “wordy”) and for the benefit of others, I highlight tweets each week that deliver a big message in a few words.

Stop wearing exhaustion as a badge of honor.

— Michael Lukaszewski (@mlukaszewski) April 1, 2015

 

Prayer gives every person regardless of class, influence, authority, age identical access to the attention of God

— Jason Kovacs (@jasonkovacs) April 1, 2015

 

The ability to deceive seems to indicate cleverness, but the desire and will to deceive indicate weakness. Descartes

— Philosophy Muse (@philosophy_muse) April 1, 2015

 

“Morality may keep you out of jail, but it takes the blood of Jesus Christ to keep you out of hell.” —C.H. Spurgeon #reformed #theology

— David Small (@DaveyyOfficial) April 2, 2015

 

“Words without deeds are empty, but deeds without words are dumb.” Lesslie Newbigin, Mission in Christ’s Way

— Chris Pappalardo (@ChrisJPappa) April 2, 2015

 

Some want relationships without engaging in justice. Others want justice without relationship. Both fall short of the gospel.

— Bryan Loritts (@bcloritts) April 2, 2015

 

A man can’t be always defending the truth; there must be a time to feed on it. —CS Lewis

— Greg Breazeale (@PastorBreaz) April 2, 2015

 

Jesus pays close attention to the people we think matter least-those at the bottom of our pecking order. So Jesus scandalizes us once again.

— Marlena Graves (@MarlenaGraves) April 3, 2015

 

“Darkness fell, His friends scattered, hope seemed lost. But heaven just started counting to three.” – @bobgoff

— Jeremy Linneman (@jslinneman) April 3, 2015

 

“If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merry place.” -The Hobbit

— Jonathan Merritt (@JonathanMerritt) April 4, 2015

Memories After Forgiveness: A Series from Miroslav Volf (Part 3 of 7)

miroslav_volfWhat do we do with memories of intense offenses after we forgive? This is a vexing question in a world marred by violence. Oh, that we could really “forgive and forget.” This is the question Miroslav Volf seeks to answer in his book The End of Memory: Remembering Rightly in aWorld of Violence.

This blog series the postscript to Dr. Volf’s book in which he seeks to illustrate what he’s taught through imagined conversations with “Captian G.” – his chief interrogator during Miroslav’s eight years of political imprisonment for being a Christian and “Western sympathizer” in the former communist Yugoslavia.

I admire the honesty and vulnerability of this book. It remains true to the historic Christian positions on forgiveness and righteousness without making the living of those answers seem any “neater” than they really are in a broken world. I hope this series of excerpts will motivate many people to read this excellent book. I believe its content can be of great benefit for those who’ve face various forms of abuse and what to know how to honor God with those memories they cannot forget.

This seven part series will be posted in the following units:

Our next meeting, my second imaginary attempt at reconciliation, took place in a far corner of dimly lit and largely empty pub. There, I thought, we could talk as human beings free from the trappings and limitations of a commission. In that more personal setting, I almost didn’t recognize him. But even aged by twenty-five years, his dark, piercing eyes were unmistakable, though somewhat mellowed.

“Hallo, Miroslav.” He greeted me with what seemed like a faint smile. “Hallo, Captain G.,” I said coldly and emphatically, irritated by the familiar greeting. I could not quite tell whether his tone was a sincere expression of a hoped-for reconciliation or an ironic reminder of the mocking familiarity he feigned by using my first name during interrogations. Then I added, “I would prefer that you address me more formally. Abuse is not a form of intimacy.”

“Yes, I know. The winter of 1984 was not pleasant for you. I bore upon you rather heavily. It was not out of personal malice, you know.”

“It was evil,” I corrected, thus suggesting what it was that I wanted to hear from him.

The exchange was not a promising start to our reconciliation. I had called for this meeting, and I had handed him the gift of forgiveness – and have vowed to forgive him again if I ever take away with the left hand the forgiveness I’ve given to him with the right. Yet sitting there opposite him, I was angry.

“Let me tell you a bit of my story,” he continued.

“Please, spare me your story!” I thought to myself, disgruntled at his taking charge once again and making the meeting revolve around himself.

“I was just a kid when I threw in my lot with the Yugoslavian military. I was fifteen, driven from home by poverty and abuse and attracted to the military by vague ideals of the socialist revolution and, I admit, easy living. It was an achievement when I graduated from the military academy and became a security officer. My job was to expose the enemies of the people. And you did seem like a good candidate – religious, westernized, married to an American, a critical student of Marx, and, not to forget, pacifist. I had to find out whether you were endangering the state. That was my job.”

“It’s a bad job if you must violate people to do it well,” I insisted.

“But that’s the job I had. It wasn’t that I just had to feed my family and couldn’t afford to lose my job. I was part of a system, with rewards and punishments and justifications of its actions. I had no place to stand outside.”

“And that’s supposed to excuse you! You think that circumstances relieve you from the responsibility to act like a human being?”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he said.

“So if you’d been in Eichmann’s shoes you’d have done Eichmann’s deeds? Right! First, you could have found a proper place to stand outside the system. Second, what happened to your conscience? Didn’t it tell you that you shouldn’t mistreat fellow human beings? Third, being part of the system doesn’t explain that spark of delight in your eyes as you were watching me, humiliated and trembling in fear.”

“I know, I know,” he added with a touch of meekness in his voice. “The evil got the better of me.”

“Well, it shouldn’t have,” I said, anger having now overwhelmed my better judgment. “You should have resisted. That’s part of what it means to be a human being – to resist being made an instrument of evil and to strive to do what is right.”

“Don’t act like such a saint yourself,” he suddenly interjected. Having lost his patience and any semblance of meekness, he once again morphed into the Captain G. of my accursed memory. “I know things about that others don’t.”

“That’s just empty posturing. And if you do know such things, you should be ashamed of yourself for violating my privacy! You dare to question my saintliness – you of all people! And even if I’m not a saint, what’s that got to do with your mistreatment of me? Because I’m not a saint, it’s okay for you to be a devil? You should come to me crawling on your knees begging for forgiveness, and all you do is tell me about your ‘circumstances,’ the power of evil – all good reasons why you, a poor victim, have wronged me. I should feel sorry for you!?

“It could have been worse for you, you know, had I not. . . . Oh, what’s the use? It was a waste of time to come here.”

“It certainly was, if you expected me to tell you what a fine fellow you really are, one who just happened to have been a victim of the system. Your mother might excuse your actions on the basis of circumstance, or perhaps some of your befuddled and stodgy Stalinist friends would. But you were responsible. This talk of ‘circumstances’ is just a lame excuse.” I was fuming. I got up, left some cash on the table to pay for the drink, and walked away. The more I dwelled on the memory of what he did to me in 1984 and on how he viewed his own misdeeds in my imagination, the angrier I became.

It didn’t take me long, however, to realize that I was partly responsible for running the reconciliatory process into the ground. Perhaps he had chosen the wrong way to open up the conversation, but after his greeting, I didn’t give him a chance, even though he was trying. I was aware that I was working against my own goals, yet the conversational slope I was trying to climb was too slippery. My attempts to scale it just made me slide down faster and faster. I zeroed in on the heart of the problem; he tried to make me see the larger context. My need to apportion blame collided with his need to explain his behavior. I feared, maybe rightly, that his explanations were justifications; he feared, maybe rightly, that my accusations were vilifications. So the process derailed despite my commitment to reconcile.

We two could not reconcile on our own, I decided. We needed a mediating party – someone who could understand both of us and interpret us to each other, someone who could keep us honest, who could see through our evasions and manipulations, who could deal with our worst fears and enflame our best hopes. A good therapist could serve some of those needs – one who knew the intricacies of the human psyche and was skilled at helping us transcend ourselves and our past, maybe insert our personal histories into a larger frame of meaning. But this therapist would have to be interested in our reconciliation, not just in our individual healing – indeed, a therapist committed to the belief that Captain G. and I would be fully healed as individuals only when we were reconciled to each other.

But therapy by itself fell short of what was necessary for our reconciliation. I, at least, needed someone to keep reminding me of the new identity and new possibilities provided by God to set me free from the debilitating power of the past. As much as a therapist, I needed a spiritual director to challenge me – sometimes gently, sometimes forcefully – that Christians have no option when it comes to reconciling, since failing to reconcile with fellow human beings, for whom Christ died to reconcile them to God and to each other, is to reject God’s work on our behalf.

But what kind of therapist/spiritual director could possibly know enough – and know the truth – about what actually transpired between Captain G. and me, and about the context of these events in each of our lives, to help bring about complete reconciliation? We participants in the events could share with this third party only shards from the past, partial truths partly decontextualized and spun from our own perspectives due to our human limitations and narrow interests – surely insufficient data for even a highly skilled therapist-director to work with. To whom could I turn to keep the process of reconciliation with Captain G. on the right track and take it to its destination? I could think of none less than God.

My Favorite Posts on the Church and Counseling

The “My Favorite Posts” series on my blog is how I catalog posts I’ve written to help my readers find the material that is the best-fit for their interest or need. I hope this series creates a more user-friendly experience for my readers and allows this site to become a trusted resource hub for the church.

Assessment Tools:

The six evaluations below (each 30 questions and self-scoring) are meant to be tools you can use to assess your Christian walk and understanding in each of the six key areas identified by The Gospel Wheel.

Book Recommendations:


How to Make Headship Decisions: A Tutorial for Husbands & Leaders

When it comes to making headship decisions it would be easy to engage the process (i.e., pursue an outcome) more than the person (i.e., serve your wife). This is a common mistake that results in great damage to marriages. Here are five key things a husband should have done or known before asserting his role in making a headship decision.

  1. Know your wife well. If you do not know your wife well, three bad things happen: (1) your starting point will likely not be your wife’s starting point; (2) the process of making the decision will be marked by conflict or silence; and (3) the decision you reach is unlikely to serve your family well.
    • Start “leading” by asking questions and listening. Ask, “In your opinion what aspects of this decision are most important? What fears or dreams of yours are related to this decision? As we make this decision what are the most important things you want to see in me and want from me?”If you do not believe you are an expert on what is important to your wife, return to the exercises given in chapter two of Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Foundations seminar.
  2. Express honor in what you say and do. Most abuses of power (i.e., manipulation) are unintentional. The person “with the power” simply phrases questions and defines words so that it is “obvious” things should go their way. This is form of dishonor, that intentional or not, is sin.
    • Realize headship is primarily expressed during times when you disagree with your wife, so be aware of the strong bias you have for your own opinion. Be on guard for how this shapes your words. Those with the power in any conversation bear the most responsibility for what they say.If this is hard for you then review chapters two (listening) and four (conflict resolution) in the Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Communicationseminar.
  3. Institute healthy home policies. Yes, this is getting repetitive. But a large percentage of issues that filter through to headship decisions are result of the absence of a shared plan for time, money, and values within the marriage. When these main things are agreed upon it is much easier to talk about everything else.
  4. Establish an environment of trust. Trust is the difference between a hard, but good, conversation and an argument. Take advantage of every opportunity to serve and sacrifice for your wife, so that there is no reason for her to believe you are being selfish when you need to lead.
    • One way to establish trust is to only respond to big deals as if they are a “big deal.” Over and under reacting are large trust breakers. Be aware of your tendency to either over or under react to situations and regularly ask your wife how you’re doing in that regard.
    • Show interest in your wife’s day-to-day activities and share about your day-to-day activities. The more “foreign” you feel to your wife the harder it will be for her to trust you in moments when leadership is needed.
  5. Initiate important conversations. Difficult conversations that are brought to you have a much different tone that those you initiate. Passivity that forces your wife to initiate difficult conversations causes your leadership (often rightly) to be perceived as reaction to nagging rather than a thought-out response to a challenge.
    • Beware of the lie, “If I bring up [blank] it will only upset my wife.” The longer [blank] is allowed to fester the bigger it gets. When [blank] forces itself into the conversation, and it will, the timing will be bad. As the leader of your family choose how and when these subjects will come into conversation.
    • Regularly ask, “Is there anything that we need to discuss?” Inviting a conversation is a legitimate way to initiate a conversation. Don’t use this question to bait your wife into starting a conversation you know needs to be had. But screening for things you may miss is a wise form of leadership.

This may sound like a great deal of work. It is work. Leading a family is an important job. Lazy men should not apply. These actions are not extravagant; nor do they represent the “Green Beret” of husbandry. These are the foundational actions and commitments which set the stage for a husband to exercise headship in a way that is a blessing to his marriage.

Now we need to look at the process a couple should go through in a headship-submission decision. These steps are directed primarily to the husband. But they can be used by a wife to articulate what she is looking for in her husband as he leads the family in a way that honors her.

  • Enact healthy individual and consensus decision making. Personal maturity and honoring friendship are prerequisites for healthy leadership in marriage. In particular, taking the step to seek counsel from mutually trusted people is important so that the exercise of headship does not come across as an excuse for autonomy. This is also when and how a husband gains the information necessary to comply with the next two recommendations.
  • Articulate clearly your wife’s position or concerns. A husband who cannot clearly express his wife’s position and concerns in words she would agree with is in no position to exercise headship. If your bias against your wife’s position is so strong that your articulation of her position is simplistic or condescending, then you lack the love to lead her as Christ leads His church.
  • Articulate clearly why this is important to her. Every effort should be made to understand not only “what” your wife is thinking but also “why.” Be very leery of exercising headship over a decision when the “why” of your wife’s concern is unclear to you. Hearing her husband express both the “what” and “why” of her concern provides a level of security in her husband’s decision that is important for her godly responses to that decision.
  • Vocalize about what you’re weighing in the decision. Leadership is not just about understanding, but also being understood. Let your wife know what you are weighing most heavily in the decision and the time line in which the decision is being made. Yes, this also means inviting questions about that process. If you are defensive about questions, you’re not a leader; you’re a dictator. This is an important part of setting your wife up to support the decision. If the wife is uninformed about the plan, when and how it will be implemented, it can produce perceived resistance or undermining on her part as she acts out of her confusion.
  • Request for your wife’s support in your decision. Questions honor; demands or expectations dishonor. “I would ask that you support me in this decision and work with me to make it succeed for the good of our family,” is the tone in which headship should be articulated. A husband cannot force his wife to follow his leadership. When leadership takes on that tone it becomes an abuse of power. God calls a wife to voluntarily submit to her husband and does not gives the husband jurisdiction to “enforce” that command.
  • Only choose your preference if… “I’m convinced I’m right” cannot complete this sentence. The context of headship-submission decisions is disagreement, so you’ll always be convinced you’re right. Below is a list of criteria for when it is wise the exercise the role of headship. It is not exhaustive, but should help you further apply the idea that in the gospel leadership exists for the good of those being led rather than the pleasure of the leader.
    • Moral Protection – If the issue under discussion has a clear moral component, requesting your wife to submit to your preference (which should be the morally acceptable option) is a form of asking her to honor the Lordship of Christ. This is part of the role of husband as the pastor of his family.
    • Mission Drift – This is another area where the husband serves as pastor of his family. All families, like all individuals and organizations, drift off mission. The role of a husband as head of his family is to call the family back to their primary purposes: loving God, loving each other, and loving the world. This may involve drawing upon his role as head of the family to request focused attention in one of these areas.
    • Life Balance – A husband protects his family by making sure the pieces of the various family schedules can mutually exist. This is not technically moral protection, but excessive scheduling is an often overlooked cause of moral drift, overt sin, and family dissension.
    • Issue Warranting a Trust Withdrawal – This is the criteria used to establish the list above. In many cases utilizing headship to choose your preference will result in an initial decrease of trust. When you exercise headship and choose your preference you are saying this issue is “worth” that trust deficit. If you exercise headship well, then this withdrawal will be temporary and there will be a long-term trust gain.
    • If a difference of opinion does not meet these criteria, then it is advised that the husband defer to his wife’s preference more often than not in order to protect the level of trust in the marriage. If an issue is not “that important” then positional authority should not be leveraged as the deciding factor in resolving a disagreement.

Distinction: Obedience vs. Submission – Children are called upon to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1). A wife is called to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22). There are many implications of this distinction, but one will be highlighted here. A husband does not have the authority to punish his wife for choosing not to submit to his leadership. Withholding finances, restraining social freedom, or other “grounding-like” actions are unbiblical for a husband to utilize with his wife. Whenever a husband-wife relationship takes on the quality of a parent-child relationship it creates problems that are greater than a lack of submission.

This material is an excerpt from the upcoming seminar:

CREATING A GOSPEL-CENTERED MARRIAGE: DECISION MAKING
Date: Saturday April 25, 2015
Time: 4:00 to 7:30 pm
Location: The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue
Address: 2415-107 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free
RSVP link