Archive for March, 2014

GCM Finances Video 4: Getting Out of Debt

This video segment is one of five presentations in the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Finances” seminar. The full GCM series of seminars and pre-marital mentoring ministry they facilitate can be found at www.bradhambrick.com/gcm.

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at counseling@summitrdu.com (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

Approach to Debt and Savings Evaluation

Monthly Meal Calendar Template: Blank Monthly Meal Calendar

Memorize: Romans 13:7-8 (ESV), “Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves has fulfilled the law.” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Pay… what is owed” – This is a trait that is to define Christians, even beyond their finances, and make us distinct.
  • “Taxes… revenue” – First this principle is applied to our financial lives; both civil and commercial responsibilities.
  • “Respect… honor” – Then it is applied to our relational lives; both authoritative and personal relationships.
  • “Owe no one anything” – Now the principle is removed from the future tense and made ever-present.
  • “Except to love” – The only debt we are to live in is to treat others like Christ treats us (Eph. 4:32).

Teaching Notes

“One of the dangers of having a lot of money is that you may be quite satisfied with the kinds of happiness money can give and so fail to realize your need for God. If everything seems to come simply by signing checks, you may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God (p. 180).” C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” George Carlin (comedian).

“The man who never has money enough to pay his debts has too much of something else.” James Lendall Basford

“Yet in the American dream, where self reigns as king (or queen), we have a dangerous tendency to misunderstand, minimize, and even manipulate the gospel in order to accommodate our assumptions and our desires (p. 28).” David Platt in Radical

“We can be content with simplicity because the deepest, most satisfying delights God gives us through creation are free gifts from nature and from loving relationships with people. After your basic needs are met, accumulated money begins to diminish your capacity for these pleasures rather than increase them. Buying things contributes absolutely nothing to the heart’s capacity for joy (p. 162).” John Piper in Desiring God

“Laborsaving machines have turned out to be body-killing devices. Our affluence has allowed both mobility and isolation of the nuclear family, and as a result our divorce courts, our prisons and our mental institutions are flooded. In saving ourselves we have nearly lost ourselves (p. 815).” Ralph Winters in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement

“There are three levels of how to live with things: (1) you can steal to get; (2) you can work to get; (3) you can work to get in order to give (p. 172).” John Piper Desiring God

How to Express and Respond to Headship in Marriage

In the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” seminar we teach through the outline below in chapter five. Here is a single page handout for this material – Approach to Headship-Submission Decision Making.

Not all decisions can be made through consensus. Couples will not agree on every decision. Some decisions do not allow for a “middle ground” because of limited options. How and when to engage the headship-submission style of decision making will be discussed in chapter five. But a brief preface will be made here. The fact that God gives husbands the role of headship in these kinds of decisions does not mean the husband must/should choose his preference in each instance. While the final call does belong to the husband, it is an unwise husband who always calls his own number.

How to Make Headship Decisions

When it comes to making headship decisions it would be easy to engage the process (i.e., pursue an outcome) more than the person (i.e., serve your wife). This is a common mistake that results in great damage to marriages. Here are five key things a husband should have done or known before asserting his role in making a headship decision.

  1. Know your wife well.
  2. Express honor in what you say and do.
  3. Institute healthy home policies.
  4. Establish an environment of trust.
  5. Initiate important conversations.

Now we need to look at the process a couple should go through in a headship-submission decision. These steps are directed primarily to the husband. But they can be used by a wife to articulate what she is looking for in her husband as he leads the family in a way that honors her.

  • Enact healthy individual and consensus decision making.
  • Articulate clearly your wife’s position or concerns.
  • Articulate clearly why this is important to her.
  • Vocalize about what you’re weighing in the decision.
  • Request for your wife’s support in your decision.
  • Only choose your preference if…
    • Moral Protection
    • Mission Drift
    • Life Balance
    • Issue Warranting a Trust Withdrawal

Distinction: Obedience vs. Submission – Children are called upon to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1). A wife is called to submit to her husband (Eph. 5:22). There are many implications of this distinction, but one will be highlighted here. A husband does not have the authority to punish his wife for choosing not to submit to his leadership. Withholding finances, restraining social freedom, or other “grounding-like” actions are unbiblical for a husband to utilize with his wife. Whenever a husband-wife relationship takes on the quality of a parent-child relationship it creates problems that are greater than a lack of submission.

How to Respond to Headship Decisions

Here are five responses a wife should have to a healthy expression of her husband leading in a decision. These are not “steps” but they do have an intentional order. If it is difficult for you to fulfill one of the earlier points, it will be very difficult for you to fulfill the latter points in a way that feels genuine rather than forced.

  1. Believe the best about your husband’s motivation in leading.
  2. Affirm the process even before you know the outcome.
  3. Strive to make the decision succeed.
  4. Speak and think of the decision positively.
  5. Offer feedback without questioning his role.

Word to Husbands: You protect your wife in her ability to display these responses by (a) not over utilizing your role as head of the family, (b) patiently utilizing the process advised to ensure she has voice even in decisions where you exercise headship, and (c) inviting feedback when you do exercise headship.

  • Invite a critique of the process.
  • Invite a critique of your tone in leading.
  • Invite a critique of the decision.

If this post was beneficial for you, then considering reading other blogs from my “Favorite Posts on Marriage” post which address other facets of this subject.

Is Headship and Submission Helping or Hurting Your Marriage?

Not all decisions can be made through consensus. Couples will not agree on every decision. Some decisions do not allow for a “middle ground” because of limited options. How and when to engage the headship-submission style of decision making will be discussed in chapter five. But a brief preface will be made here. The fact that God gives husbands the role of headship in these kinds of decisions does not mean the husband must/should choose his preference in each instance. While the final call does belong to the husband, it is an unwise husband who always calls his own number.

In the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” seminar we will teach three types of decision making that are required in a healthy, biblical marriage.

  1. Personal Decision Making
  2. Consensus Decision Making
  3. Headship-Submission Decision Making

Too often, couples try to force all decision making to fit into one or two of these arenas. They may do this for convenience (but simple becomes simplistic) or conviction (emphasizing some part of what Scripture teaches to the neglect of other parts). Either way, their life lacks balance and begins to show the corresponding wear-and-tear.

Find Headship-Submission Evaluation Here

These resources are excerpts from the following seminar:

CREATING A GOSPEL-CENTERED MARRIAGE: DECISION MAKING
Date Part One: Saturday March 22
Date Part Two: Saturday March 29
Time: 4:00 to 5:30 pm
Location: The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue
Address: 2415-107 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free

 

Tweets of the Week 3.25.14

There is great value in saying something in a memorable, concise manner. Twitter has caused us to make this a near spiritual discipline. For my own growth (as a generally verbose individual… that’s a long way of saying “wordy”) and for the benefit of others, I highlight tweets each week that deliver a big message in a few words.

GCM Finances Video 3: Creating a Budget You Will Actually Use

This video segment is one of five presentations in the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Finances” seminar. The full GCM series of seminars and pre-marital mentoring ministry they facilitate can be found at www.bradhambrick.com/gcm.

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at counseling@summitrdu.com (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

Monthly Operating Budget Template: GCMmonthlyBUDGET_TEMP

Budgeting Process Evaluation

Memorize: I Timothy 3:2-5 (ESV), “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children in submission, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?’” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Overseer” – While this passage speaks to pastors, it states these qualifications are to be applied first at home.
  • List – Notice how many things on this list can be, at least in part, tied to how we manage our finances.
  • “Sober-minded, self-controlled” – A budget allow us to be realistic and intentional with our money.
  • “Not quarrelsome” – A sign of spiritual maturity in marriage is the ability to talk about money without fighting.
  • “Manage… his household” – A budget is a tool that allows us to manage our home, which allows us to manage life.

Teaching Notes

“One of our central spiritual decisions is determining what is a reasonable amount to live on. Whatever that amount is—and it will legitimately vary from person to person—we shouldn’t hoard or spend in excess (p. 26).” Randy Alcorn in The Treasure Principle

“If you want to test a couple’s oneness in marriage, take a look at how they handle their finances (p. 185).” Dennis Rainey (editor) in Preparing for Marriage

“I never did anything worth doing by accident.” Plato

“The issue is not how much a person makes. Big industry and big salaries are a fact of our times, and they are not necessarily evil. The evil is in being deceived into thinking a $100,000 salary must be accompanied by a $100,000 lifestyle. God has made us to be conduits of his grace. The danger is in thinking the conduits should be lined with gold. It shouldn’t. Copper will do (p. 172-173).” John Piper Desiring God

Clarifying Confusion: Three Definitions of “God’s Will”

In the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” seminar we teach through the outline below in chapter two.

The Bible talks about “God’s will” in at least three very distinct ways. This accounts for many of the arguments Christians have about God’s will. Often committed Christian couples will argue because they emphasize one of these definitions of “God’s will” over the other two. Both are left feeling the other is less-spiritual or hyper-spiritual when, in fact, they have not been talking about the same thing.

God’s Sovereign Will

This is what we refer to when we say that “God is the author of history” or “Nothing happens without God’s permission.” God’s sovereign will is what allowed God to inspire prophets to foretell details about the birth of Christ and write about the end times. There is nothing in our decisions that can interrupt God’s sovereign will. We are never out of God’s sovereign will. God does not make a “Plan B” for anyone’s life.

Passages: Here are several passages that refer to God’s sovereign will – Proverbs 21:1; Acts 2:23, 4:27-28; Romans 9:19, 11:33-36; Ephesians 1:11; and Revelation 4:11. What do you learn about God’s will from these passages?

Applied Rightly: God’s sovereign will gives us confidence that we can pray boldly against injustice knowing God is capable of affecting change. God’s sovereign will gives us peace knowing there is order behind the seeming chaos of our broken world. God’s sovereign will gives us assurance there is meaning and significance to our choices.

When have you experienced the benefits of thinking about God’s sovereign will rightly?

Applied Wrongly: God’s sovereign will does not mean we are robots living out a program about which we’re unaware. God’s sovereign will does not give us permission to be flippant about important choices or risky actions. God’s sovereign will does not allow us to justify sin with “God knew I was going to do it.”

When have you experienced the consequences of thinking about God’s sovereign will wrongly?

God’s Moral Will

This refers to God’s commandments and God’s character. God’s moral will is the ideal that defines how things should be on earth and how they will be in heaven. God’s moral will is where the words “good” and “bad” get their meaning. God’s moral will is why we experience guilt and place high value on things that are pure.

Passages: Here are several passages that refer to God’s moral will – Romans 2:18; II Corinthians 6:14; I Thessalonians 4:3-4, 5:18; and biblical commands. What do you learn about God’s will from these passages?

Applied Rightly: God’s moral will is the clearest and most accessible part of God’s will. God’s moral will is the expression of God’s character through behavioral expectations. God’s moral will is meant to regulate many of our emotional experiences (i.e., guilt, awe, longing) as we treasure God’s character more than the things that upset, motivate, or please us.

“The moral will of God is the expression, in behavioral terms, of the character of God (p. 153).” Garry Friesen in Decision Making and the Will of God

When have you experienced the benefits of thinking about God’s moral will rightly?

Applied Wrongly: God’s moral will is not an insecure deity arbitrarily enforcing His preference on His creation. God’s moral will does not belong to (i.e., is not defined by) any time period, generation, or culture. God’s moral will is not meant to be used as a leveraging point to allow some people to feel superior to others.

When have you experienced the consequences of thinking about God’s moral will wrongly?

God’s Individual Will:

This is what most people want to know when they ask questions about “God’s will.” This arena of God’s will seeks to answer the questions: What does God want to do through the passions, experiences, and talents He’s given me? Who does God want me to      partner with through life (i.e., marriage, church, friends, job) to accomplish these purposes? How should I utilize the resources God has given me (i.e., money, time, talent)?

Passages: Here are several passages that refer to God’s individual will –Psalm 32:8; Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:9; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 2:8, 5:15-17, 6:6; and Colossians 1:9-10. What do you learn about God’s will from these passages?

Applied Rightly: God’s individual will should cause us to reflect on how God made us and how we can best serve Him with those gifts. God’s individual will should cause us to ask, “How would God reveal His character in this circumstance?” God’s individual will should usually be in keeping with the interests and passions God gave you.

When have you experienced the benefits of thinking about God’s individual will rightly?

Applied Wrongly: God’s individual will should not be a point of insecurity or pride as we compare life circumstances with other people. God’s individual will should not be a fearful attempt to find the perfect option in every situation as if God were playing “hard to get.” God’s individual will should not be assumed to be fearful or dreaded in order to be appropriately “spiritual” or marked by faith.

When have you experienced the consequences of thinking about God’s individual will wrongly?

At this point you should be able to identify what you, your spouse, a friend, or a Bible passage is referencing in a particular usage of the phrase “God’s will.” The more decisions two Christians make together, the more they need to agree upon how to think about God’s will. Otherwise, the Bible, subjective feelings of being “lead” to do something, and emotions of guilt or insecurity will begin to divide the marriage.

If this post was beneficial for you, then considering reading other blogs from my “Favorite Posts on Theology and Counseling” post which address other facets of this subject.

4 Key Values that Promote Consensus and Friendship in Marriage

In the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” seminar we teach through the outline below in chapter four.

Friendship is about more than liking the same things and agreeing on how things should be done; otherwise “opposites attract” would be jeered as an oxymoron instead of an accepted proverb. We all have friends who are different from us, yet somehow we enjoy one another more than we enjoy our preferences.

That is what marital consensus requires – enjoying your spouse more than you enjoy your preferences. It is a skill we all have; namely friendship. But marriage requires us to utilize this skill more often for more things of more importance than any other relationship. Friendship-fatigue and familiarity can cause us to neglect the fundamentals of consensus in our marriage; like fatigue can cause any athlete to neglect the fundamentals of his/her chosen sport.

In this section, we will review the fundamentals of friendship in terms of four values. Use these to increase your intentionality in using consensus skills, especially when we are prone to forget or neglect them. Throughout this chapter the terms consensus, friendship, and unity will be used as synonyms.

1. Value the marriage more than the subject.

What makes it “safe” to have a conversation? The awareness that your spouse values the marriage more than the topic or outcome. Whenever a subject of conversation becomes more important than the relationship the opportunity for consensus is greatly      damaged.

As you enter any decision making process each spouse will inevitably assess, “How important is this decision? How important is this subject to my spouse and how does that compare to how important our marriage is to my spouse right now?” Even if not overtly thought, this assessment will be made emotionally through the presence of a sense of safety / freedom or fear / defensiveness.

With increased significance of a decision comes increased pressure, often impaired thinking, and bad relational habits. A great way to balance the importance of any subject is to compare it to something more significant. We can establish an atmosphere where it is obvious the marriage is more important than the subject by the tone of our communication in the decision making conversation and frequently talking about what is good about the marriage in the times between decisions.

  • What are the verbal and nonverbal indicators each of you give that indicate a subject is becoming more valuable (at least in that moment) than the marriage?
  • What day-to-day forms of marital encouragement  are most important for displaying a high value of relationship in your       marriage?

2. Value unity more than preference.

What is the difference between  “friends” and “acquaintances”? One difference is that  acquaintance-relationships are more dependent upon shared preferences for  mutual enjoyment, while in friendship relationship take precedence over preference. Simply put, in friendship you don’t have to do things “my way” in order for me to enjoy / value our relationship.

The unity in a gospel-centered marriage reveals we are about the same things, not just that we like the same things. When preferences matter more than unity they become a “law” by which our spouse must be “good enough” in order to be (or at least feel) loved. That creates an environment of pressure and fear which stifles the free dialogue of consensus decision making.

  • What are your strongest pet peeves and preferences (which probably emanate from your strengths)? How do you ensure that they are serving your marriage instead of expecting your marriage to serve you?
  • What are the indicators that your marriage is “good” that have little to do with your preferences?
  • What shared goals do the two of you have that are not the re-articulation of your personal preferences?

3. Value relationship over certainty.

Consensus requires trust when the future is in doubt, because during decision making the future is always in doubt. Uncertainty is not the enemy of consensus. Uncertainty is when we become the enemy of consensus. Uncertainty is when we prefer to know rather than to love.

The reality is that consensus (or any other form of decision making) is only relevant during uncertainty. If our friendship skills fade during uncertainty then we will either be controlling or codependent during pivotal moments of any relationship – uncertainty.

  • Picture a spectrum where trust is in the middle with naïve / gullible on one end and fearful / controlling on the other. Where are you? Where is your spouse? How does this affect your marital decision making?
  • How strong are your “marital trust muscles”? When are the times when you should be intentionally exercising those muscles (i.e., relatively safe times of uncertainty)?

4. Values participation over efficiency.

Decision making is quicker and easier when one person makes a decision. But that convenience comes at a cost; that cost is called “buy in.” A relationship without consensus can (most don’t) run like a finely tuned machine, but it will feel like a machine more than a romance if it does.

Longevity in marriage is about pursuing the same thing; ultimately Christ. Consensus decision making is when a couple refines what it looks like to functionally pursue Christ in the details of each new challenge and opportunity. The value of consensus for most decisions far outweighs the benefit of the time saved by efficiency.

  • Which do you naturally value more: mutual participation or efficiency? For what kind decisions does your normal preference change? Is that change made because of fear, ease, or wisdom?
  • Do you have adequate time set aside for marital communication in order to allow for a larger percentage of marital decisions to be made through consensus? Do you manage the basics of life well so that consensus decision making time is not consumed by logistics?

Read Philippians 2:1-11. Notice the values that underlie Christian unity. Walk back through this passage and mark the phrases that support each of the four values of consensus described above. Realize that if unity is expected of a relational network as large as a church, it is even more expected in a relational network the size of a marriage and family. Pay particular attention to how we are dependent upon Christ in us to live the life Christ modeled for us (v. 5).

This resource is an excerpt from the following seminar:

CREATING A GOSPEL-CENTERED MARRIAGE: DECISION MAKING
Date Part One: Saturday March 22
Date Part Two: Saturday March 29
Time: 4:00 to 5:30 pm
Location: The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue
Address: 2415-107 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free

Tweets of the Week 3.18.14

There is great value in saying something in a memorable, concise manner. Twitter has caused us to make this a near spiritual discipline. For my own growth (as a generally verbose individual… that’s a long way of saying “wordy”) and for the benefit of others, I highlight tweets each week that deliver a big message in a few words.

GCM Finances Video 2: What Is a Budget Anyway?

This video segment is one of five presentations in the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Finances” seminar. The full GCM series of seminars and pre-marital mentoring ministry they facilitate can be found at www.bradhambrick.com/gcm.

NOTE: Many people have asked how they can get a copy of the seminar notebook referenced in this verbal presentation. You can request a copy from Summit’s admin over counseling at counseling@summitrdu.com (please note this is an administrative account; no individual or family counsel is provided through e-mail).

Memorize: Matthew 619-21 (ESV), “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.’” As you memorize this passage reflect upon these key points:

  • “Treasure” – This is more than “just money.” It includes whatever gives you a sense of security and identity.
  • “On earth” – If your treasure is earthly you are losing it or moving towards losing it every day; fear-based living.
  • “In heaven” – If your treasure is heavenly you are gaining it or moving towards having it daily; hope-based living.
  • “Moth… rust… thieves” – Add to this list the threats to your earthly treasures and hear them in Jesus’ words.
  • “Heart” – What we treasure shapes the core of our life: our heart (i.e., values, priorities, agenda, character, etc…).

Teaching Notes

“In order for a couple to deal faithfully with the resources God has entrusted to their hands, they must adopt a shared mission in life… This will not tell you exactly where every penny ought to be spent, which couch to buy, or exactly where to live and what to eat, but it will orient your hearts toward God in your approach to life, and join you together in such a way that conversations about stewardship become a joy rather than a source of strife, (p. 189).” John Henderson in Catching Foxes

“Stewardship is the management of God’s resources for the accomplishment of God-given goals.” Ron Blue quoted in Dennis Rainey (editor) in Preparing for Marriage

“How a person handles his money reveals much about his character, his desires, his priorities and his relationship with God. Put two people together in marriage, and you can see that financial discussions are really spiritual discussions (p. 185).” Dennis Rainey (editor) in Preparing for Marriage

“Assuming a sensible standard of living represents another way we steward God’s creation well. Being wise with money and material things, I believe, is not very complicated. It is hard, but not complicated. It requires commitment to one very simple guideline: wisely spend less money than you possess (p. 197).” John Henderson in Catching Foxes

“In our quest for the extraordinary, we often overlook the importance of the ordinary, and I’m proposing that a radical lifestyle actually begins with an extraordinary commitment to ordinary practices that have marked Christians who have affected the world throughout history (p. 193).” David Platt in Radical

3 Areas of Guidance for Marital Decision Making Through Consensus

In the “Creating a Gospel-Centered Marriage: Decision Making” seminar we teach through the outline below in chapter four. Here is a single page handout for this material – Approach to Consensus Decision Making.

A large portion of marital decisions will be made as friends through the process of consensus. This is how two individuals begin to shape “our life” together that represents the new “we” more than the individual “me’s.” As a couple grows in their knowledge and sacrifice for another, this arena of decision making should become the significant majority of their shared decision making. Consensus should be the default approach to decision making throughout marriage. How to approach consensus decision making will be discussed in chapter four.

Consensus and Friendship

  1. Value the marriage more than the subject.
    • What are the verbal and nonverbal indicators each of you give that indicate a subject is becoming more valuable (at least in that moment) than the marriage?
    • What day-to-day forms of marital encouragement are most important for displaying a high value of relationship in your marriage?
  2. Value unity more than preference.
    • What are your strongest pet peeves and preferences (which probably emanate from your strengths)? How do you regularly ensure that they are serving your marriage instead of expecting your marriage to serve you?
    • What are the indicators that your marriage is “good” that have little to do with your personal preferences?
    • What shared goals do the two of you have that are not the re-articulation of your personal preferences?
  3. Value relationship over certainty.
    • Picture a spectrum where trust is in the middle with naïve / gullible on one end and fearful / controlling on the other. Where are you? Where is your spouse? How does this affect your marital decision making?
    • How strong are your “marital trust muscles”? When are the times when you should be intentionally exercising those muscles (i.e., relatively safe times of uncertainty)?
  4. Values participation over efficiency.
    • Which do you naturally value more: mutual participation or efficiency? For what kind of decisions does your normal preference change? Is that change made because of fear, ease, or wisdom?
    • Do you have adequate time set aside for marital communication in order to allow for a larger percentage of marital decisions to be made through consensus? Do you manage the basics of life well so that consensus decision making time is not consumed by logistics?

What Fits in “Consensus”?

  1. Level One: Life Stewardship (Pre-Consensus)
  2. Level Two: Unique Decisions (Active-Consensus)
    • Non-Moral Decisions
    • Differing or Unclear Objectives or Preferences
    • Non-Rushed Decisions
    • Decisions Requiring Mutual Execution
    • Decisions Affecting Family Balance

What is the Process for Consensus?

  • Step One: Define the Decision
  • Step Two: Listen to Each Other
    • Listening and Consensus Require Humility
    • Listening and Consensus Require Mutual Participation
    • Listening and Consensus Require Fairness
  • Step Three: Differentiate Opinions from Facts
  • Step Four: Begin From Where You Agree
  • Step Five: Assess What Is “At Stake” for Each Person
  • Step Six: Understand the “Win”
  • Step Seven: Headship-Submission is Not Failure

These resources are excerpts from the following seminar:

CREATING A GOSPEL-CENTERED MARRIAGE: DECISION MAKING
Date Part One: Saturday March 22
Date Part Two: Saturday March 29 Time: 4:00 to 5:30 pm
Location: The Summit Church, Brier Creek South Venue
Address: 2415-107 Presidential Drive; Durham, NC 27703
Cost: Free